setting sun
by scribbles from ko
Summary: "Tanjirou is a very kind person," Lenalee said, Allen paying close attention as they looked for empty seats within the rattling train. "I think you'll get along with him very well!" She was smiling brightly, but Allen frowned. There were hints of sadness in her voice. In which the Black Order did all it could do to get more fire power, and like Kanda, Tanjirou lived.
1. Awakening

**01\. Awakening**

Tanjirou woke up. He felt a bit woozy, but it wasn't that bad. Was this… Did he collapse after a battle, again? Ah, he should get up quickly, then. Oh wait, maybe he shouldn't. If you suddenly get out of bed, wouldn't it be bad? Like, someone would tackle you down… Saying something about being reckless...

_Breathe_.

Shifting a bit on the bed- was he on a bed? Felt like it. But it seemed harder (and colder) than usual-

_Breathe_.

Tanjirou breathed.

"...wa...ke?"

He blinked slowly. Looking up, he winced at the bright, white light glaring down at him. Ouch. His eyes hurt.

"Is… Aw...ke?"

Oh, there were some people clad in white, surrounding him. Doctors, perhaps? He didn't understand what they were saying, though… His ears, he couldn't really hear anything. Everything sounded so muffled.

Frowning to himself, he nodded slowly, unsure of what to do.

_Remember. Breathe._

His nose twitched. The smell of chemicals. The smell of- strange. It smelt a bit strange, in his opinion. That was odd.

"Do… remem... name?" His eyebrows furrowed. What were those people trying to say? They were talking to him, right? It sounded so weird...

The people looked away, as if talking amongst each other. Then they turned back, looking down at him. "_Namae_?"

Oh. Now he understood.

Name?

"_Ta…_" He opened his mouth, lips cracked and throat sore. Something was placed near his mouth, and- ah, water. He swallowed carefully. "_Tan...jirou._"

That was his name. Yes, Kamado Tanjirou.

The son of... Of...

He noticed how his chest would slowly rise and fall as he breathed. It meant his lungs were working, which was good. No wait, it meant that he was still alive, so that was even better. Suddenly, he felt really tired. Would those people mind if he go back to sleep? Shinbou never really minded, if he remembered clearly… Shinobu encouraged him and the others to rest more, since the more you rest, and faster you heal...

Shinobu… Oh wait, she's…

_Breathe_.

He took a breath, and a scent of inky darkness plunged his senses.

Oh. This place. That wasn't it, it wasn't... He remembered that the estate smelt of… Chemicals, and sunshine. Maybe a tinge of anger, too, but… This place wasn't it. This place was different. This was… Not the estate, right? It was too… Too dark. Too murky. Of what? Of… He didn't know. Fear? The edges of his vision began to darken, and it became increasingly hard to keep his eyes open.

The Butterfly Estate was happier. This place… Wasn't it.

_Big brother, breathe._

He fell asleep.

* * *

Nezuko frowned, her hands holding onto her older brother's. Beside her was Rokuta, Takeo, Hanako, Shigeru, their mother, Zenitsu, Inosuke, _everyone_.

Pressing her forehead against his, she spoke softly.

"Sorry… Sorry for leaving you behind, big brother."

His eyes were closed, his chest rising and falling from each, deep breath.

She opened her mouth, closed it, and then opened it again. Squeezing her eyes shut, she held his hand tighter.

It was a prayer.

"Please don't lose. Please be safe. Please don't forget your breath. Please," she swallowed thickly, tears trailing down her cheeks. "Please live."

* * *

**I binged read Kimetsu and D. Gray happened to be pretty dark :D Thank you for reading!**

**NOTE: **Taisho period is 1912-1926, and D. Gray's plot is at the end of the 19th century, so around the 1890s. Let's say because of Komui's potions and technology or whatsoever, the timeline is messed up and Kimetsu happened some time before the plot of D. Gray! Thank you for understanding!

**ko.**

**(Namae/なまえ/名前 = name.)**


	2. The Girl

**02\. The Girl **

Lenalee blinked away tears. Quickly rubbing her eyes, she held her breath.

_Don't cry. Don't cry._

She gasped for air, her eyes and lungs burning. Glancing down, she noticed how her hands were trembling.

_Stop shaking._

_I'm scared._

The strange people grabbed her arms, dragging her along the cold, icy halls. Something in her was screaming, a voice inside of her head.

_I'm scared. Big brother, where are you?_

_Big brother Komui!_

* * *

For a while, she couldn't understand what these people were saying. Most of them, at least. When she met the few people who could speak in Chinese, she broke into tears.

_At last, _she had thought. _Someone I could talk to. Help. I don't understand what's going on. Could you explain to me?_

After some time, it came to her that it might just be better if she didn't understand anything at all.

Ignorance is bliss, after all.

Eventually she learned English, but it was an extremely slow process. The nurses were very patient with her, but she wasn't sure if she should be happy about it. Out of everything, though, the medical wing became her safe haven within this dark and cold castle. She still missed Komui, and she wouldn't stop missing him. She missed him so much. Her strong, reliable, funny, and...

_Home_. He was _home_.

"Black Order," she repeated after the Head Nurse. The elder woman nodded slowly. "Black Order," Lenalee said again, tasting the sound of her cell's name. So that's what this place was called. How oddly fitting.

It was truly a dark place.

She was scared, though. As the days drew across the calendar, the memories where she was still at _home _drifted further and further away. What if she no longer remembered how to speak in her own mother tongue? What if she forgot the taste of her family's dishes, what if she began to forget her own brother's face? Her own brother's voice?

Her shoulders shook. Other exorcists clad in black stood beside her.

They touched her shoulder, and they left for a mission.

They came back in coffins.

Lenalee felt numb.

Ah… It was pointless, wasn't it? A boy who was skin and bones screamed within the chamber of Innocence. Another person died. Ah, that finder, she knew him. He was a kind person. Oh, another exorcist. Another accommodator. Another…

"Your name is Lenalee?" She blinked, looking up. A teen with burgundy hair and eyes beamed at her. There was a scar on his forehead, she noticed. It was shaped oddly, as if some sort of tattoo. There was something else, however. Something else that caught her eye.

She nodded.

"I see!" He brightened up, the black exorcist uniform seemingly too big for his frame. His English had a bit of an accent. A sense of similarity filled Lenalee.

"My name is Tanjirou! Kamado Tanjirou, but you can call me Tanjirou."

"Tan...jirou?" She repeated quietly. How long had it been since she last spoken?

Tanjirou smiled again. How was he able to smile in such a dark, cold place?

"Mmhm! I'm kind of new here, uh, Euro… European Branch? I came from the Asian Branch! Nice to meet you, please take good care of me!"

She nodded again.

Oh, that was it. The thing that caught her eye.

His expression, his eyes. His sheer presence. It was so gentle.

Lenalee wanted to cry. This kind of person, he shouldn't be here. Tanjirou shouldn't be here, it just wasn't right.

It just wasn't right!

* * *

Lenalee didn't feel like eating. The bread tasted weird in her mouth, and the soup made her head spin. Everything tasted so bland, _too _bland. Her stomach churned, she wanted to throw up.

"Lenalee, you got to eat!" Tanjirou said, sitting beside her. He was biting into the bland, dry bread. "Eating is very important, it's something you can only do when you're alive! So eat!"

She shook her head, her eyes were burning again.

Tanjirou frowned, putting his bread down. "Lenalee… Oh! How about this!" He clasped his hands together. "I can cook you some rice! Or maybe some gruel! That should be okay, right?"

She stared at him with a look of disbelief.

"Rice?"

Komui's old dish. White rice that would always be slightly burned, bok choy, and some overcooked chicken. The taste of home.

He grinned, nodding. "Rice! Let's go to the kitchen, they should allow us, right? I can also make some... Um... _onigiri_... Ah! Rice ball! Cooking rice is my specialty! It's like checking the fire!"

She swallowed, glancing down at the cooling, grey food. "... Okay."

Tanjirou smiled softly, patting her head.

They didn't allow them in the kitchen. Tanjirou had this blunt look of disdain.

"... Let's go file a complaint."

For the first time since years and years and _years_, Lenalee broke into a small laughter. Everyone was staring at her with wide eyes, everyone except Tanjirou. Tanjirou was laughing with her, his cheeks flushed with a bit of pink and-

Tanjirou was like a big brother, actually.

They became a team after that.

* * *

Her legs hurt. Lenalee frowned, looking down at her sore feet. The Innocence, it felt so cold. She didn't like it.

Helveska did mention something about compatibility. If she didn't like the Innocence so much, why was she still synchronized with it? A muddled feeling rested in her chest.

She hated it so much.

But Tanjirou was different. Tanjirou's Innocence took shape of a sword, a katana, she remembered him saying. The blade was pitch black, making Tanjirou's appearance darker than it should be. Tanjirou, however, never said anything about the Black Order. He didn't question anything.

"We're here to fight the AKUMAs, right?" He said. Lenalee nodded slowly.

"Tanjirou, do you remember your family?" She asked, her voice quiet and timid.

He blinked. "My family?"

Lenalee noticed something strange.

Tanjirou beamed. "Oh, I do! I remember. I have a little sister!"

He had a little sister. Lenalee pursed her lips. "Do you miss her?"

Before Tanjirou replied, they were called in for another mission. Tanjirou never answered the question.

Lenalee couldn't help but wonder, though. Tanjirou had a little sister, just like how Komui had her. If his little sister was still alive, could she be feeling lonely, as well? What was she feeling, being separated from Tanjirou?

Lenalee's heart hurt, thinking about that.

Her heart ached, thinking about how unfair this world was.

Tanjirou was such a kind person. How could they separated him from his family?

Lenalee watched as Tanjirou drew out his sword. An AKUMA must be nearby. It was nighttime, and Lenalee felt a chill crawl down her spine.

"There are three level ones and one level two," Tanjirou said. Lenalee nodded, still amazed by his ability to sniff out the AKUMAs.

Tanjirou told her that he had a good sense of smell. It helped him be able to find out where and how many AKUMAs there were, along with their levels. To the Black Order, this must really be an assist. After all, to seek out and attack the AKUMAs, the AKUMAs had to attack first. That was the reason why they had the Black Order's silver emblem etched on their chest, a target sign for the Millennium Earl.

But later on, when she found out what exactly was the scent of these AKUMAs were, she nearly threw up.

The head of the level two slipped off. An explosion sounded. Tanjirou landed softly, his sword held by his waist. He took a breath, adjusting his footing to attack the next AKUMA.

Apparently, to Tanjirou, it smelt of sorrow, metal, blood, and corruption.

But when the AKUMA was destroyed, it smelt of peace and freedom.

Tanjirou wouldn't stop fighting, he never complained about missions or _anything_.

The scent of peace was probably too addicting. Too addicting to the point he stopped caring for his own health and body, to the point that he was unable to ask himself _that one question_.

She held onto his sleeve.

"Please, stop for a moment," her voice was quivering. Tanjirou's little sister probably wouldn't want her brother to suffer like this. "I can fight, too. You need rest, you're bleeding everywhere."

Tanjirou's eyes met hers. He was breathing quickly, veins visible around his head. He seemed as if he wanted to argue, or to insist that he could continue. But he stopped, almost as if his mind was in another plane. He wasn't looking at her, Lenalee realized. He was looking at something else. After a few short seconds, his breathing slowed down, and he closed his eyes. The veins vanished.

Lenalee got rid of the other AKUMAs. She nearly died a few times, but another exorcist came to support.

* * *

"In Japanese, food is _tabemono_. Ogres or demon is _oni_!"

"_Tabemono_? What about rice?"

"Hm… It's _gohan_!"

Lenalee blinked. "It sounds a lot like when it's in Chinese. In Chinese, it's _fan_ or _mi_."

"_Fan_?" Lenalee nodded.

"You have to make the… Uh… Sound, stronger at the end. _Bai fan_."

Tanjirou grinned. "_Bai fan_… I see!"

The finders accompanying them were silent, but they were listening intently.

(Later on, the finders snuck them some rice. Tanjirou was extremely happy, tackling them with a bear hug- and Lenalee stared at them with genuine surprise.)

(The rice was hot, slightly burnt on the edges. But it was good. The rice was really good.)

(They bowed. Tanjirou said to do so, to show respect and thanks. It was a form of gratitude. They said thank you.)

* * *

"Lenalee is like my little sister," Tanjirou suddenly said one day. Lenalee was staring at him with wide eyes.

Swallowing, she asked. "H-how so?"

He hummed, smiling brightly. "Lenalee uses her legs to fight, right? My little sister, too!"

She blinked. "Is that so…?"

He nodded. "Yup! Lenalee reminds me of my little sister!"

Tanjirou… Never really talked about his family. He was never the one to start the conversation about them. She wondered what was his little sister's name.

Pausing for a moment, Lenalee made a small smile.

"... Tanjirou makes me think of my older brother, too."

"Lenalee's older brother?"

Lenalee nodded.

"My older brother."

He placed a hand on her head. Lenalee stared ahead.

Before them, there was the sunset. Surrounding them, there was dust and devastation. They were on a mission, a lot of people died. The Innocence was crumbling in her hand, but it still shone bright. This cursed thing caused everyone to die.

All for this cursed thing, everyone was going to die.

"_Eating is very important, it's something you can only do when you're alive! So eat!" _Lenalee recalled Tanjirou saying that, his English still weak and the dried bread left sitting on her plate. They were breathing, their hearts were beating- but Lenalee doubted. Were they really alive?

What was the point of eating, when they were already at death's side?

"Set your heart ablaze," Tanjirou said aloud. Lenalee stared up at him. His eyes were distant, gazing at the setting sun. For an instance, it was as if he was fire, blazing hot and burning everything at sight- but at the same time, he was gentle. Gentle like sunshine, showering life to those around him.

"Set your heart ablaze, Lenalee. Live with your chest high."

He was the sun.

Kamado Tanjirou was the sun, the sun who got dragged down from the skies and the heavens... The place where he belonged.

Tears fell from her eyes. She sobbed, covering her face.

Tanjirou stayed by her side the entire time. They stood there until the last of the light finally vanished and reinforcements came, taking them back to the headquarters.

The day ended and tomorrow arrived.

Once again, they were sent to battle.

* * *

**Thank you for reading! This part is Lenalee's story!**

**ko.**

**(Tabemono: **食べ物**/**たべもの**; Gohan: **ご飯**/**ごはん (cooked rice)**; Bai fan: **白飯 (white rice) **; Mi: **米**)**


	3. Dried Leaves

**03\. Dried Leaves**

There was this distinct stench of anger- along with a flash of disbelief and horror.

"You, what the hell are you doing here." A child with long, black hair said, face riddled with cuts and scratches and a sword gripped tightly in one hand.

Tanjirou blinked rapidly, a confused smile plastered on his face.

"Hm?"

He smelled familiar, though. His scent.

A year had passed since Tanjirou first met Lenalee. Kanda Yu has joined the Black Order.

* * *

There were rumors about a general coming back after traveling around the world. Apparently, he had a new apprentice, perhaps a new exorcist. The sword in the child's hands said a lot.

"A new friend!" Tanjirou said brightly. The scientists from the science division shivered slightly.

"Well, I heard he came from the Asian Branch," Reever said, scratching the back of his head. The bags under his eyes were dark as ever. "General Tiedoll took him under his wing, apparently. So technically he's not an exorcist yet, I guess. The new guy, I mean."

"I thought he was a girl," Lenalee said absentmindedly, fiddling with the corners of her clothes. "But then he said he wasn't, so I said sorry."

"I see," Tanjirou responded with a nod. Lenalee went to get lunch.

"Anyway, Tanjirou. The director said to-" Reever paused, looking over his shoulder. Tanjirou was nowhere to be seen. Sighing, his shoulders drooped. "Whatever, I'll tell him later…"

A year had passed since Tanjirou first met Lenalee. Lenalee had become his first friend in the European Branch, something Tanjirou would always be grateful for. On a regular basis as exorcists, they went on missions. Even though it would sometimes become very tough, and many lives were lost or nearly got lost, Tanjirou could endure it!

Pushing pass the crowds of people along the halls, Tanjirou made a sharp turn to the left- nearly crashing into someone.

He blinked.

A child with dark eyes- and a stench of anger.

"What the hell are you doing here."

He smelled familiar.

"Now, now, Yu," a deeper voice said. Tanjirou's gaze drifting upwards, his eyes were met with a uniform of black and gold. A general. "Oh," the older man said, his eyes slightly widening. "You must be Kamado?"

Immediately, his back straightened. "Yes! I am Kamado Tanjirou, It is a pleasure to meet you!"

The general chuckled. "No need to be so stiff! It is also a pleasure to meet you as well, Kamado. I am Froi Tiedoll."

"Yes! I have heard of you! You are very amazing!" What the heck was he saying.

Tiedoll chuckled again.

"I also have heard of you, along with your deeds, Kamado," Tiedoll's gaze softened. "You have worked very hard. How about we go get some lunch? Yu and I here haven't got anything to eat."

Eating with a general! A once in a billion chance! Tanjirou nearly jumped.

"Of course!"

They went to the cafeteria, the child - Yu, that was his name - glaring daggers at him.

* * *

The food was still very grey and bland. Biting into his bread, Tanjirou grabbed for his soup, taking a quick sip. Even though the food was grey, it was still food. Some people out there didn't even have food to eat! It would be rude to them if Tanjirou wasn't grateful with what he had!

Glancing to the side, he noticed Yu, who have yet taken a bite.

"Are you not hungry?" He decided to ask.

Yu glared at him.

Tanjirou sweat marked.

"Uh, oh right!" He clasped his hands together, "I haven't properly introduced myself, have I?" Smiling brightly, he held out a hand. "I am Kamado Tanjirou, it is nice to meet you!"

The stench of anger grew stronger.

"Screw off."

Yu stood up and left.

The plate of untouched food sat forsaken on the table.

"... Maybe he dislikes bread," Tanjirou concluded. Tiedoll coughed quietly at the side.

* * *

"Lenalee," Tanjirou was frowning. Lenalee fidgeted under his gaze, her head lowered. Sighing, he bent down, examining the new scratches scarring her knees. There were even more around her arms and elbow, not to mention her face.

Looking up to her, he gave her a soft smile. "Let's get this treated, okay? Later, I'll teach you about meditating!"

Pausing for a moment, Lenalee nodded, her head still lowered.

"... Promise?"

Tanjirou beamed at her.

"Promise!"

As the Head Nurse treated Lenalee's wounds, Tanjirou stood at the side, back leaning against the wall. The Head Nurse, while very stern and strict, was very kind at the same time. Smiling to himself, he recalled the time he came in to the medical wing with broken bones and ribs- the Head Nurse had this blunt look of disapproval.

_Tanjirou~ It was so scary! I was surrounded by so much venom, and that lady over there kept nagging at me~!_

A rustle. Pigtails brushing past. _Oh you! Quiet down, will you?! You're too noisy for goodness sake!_

Tanjirou stared ahead, a smile remaining on his face. Glancing down to his sword, he gazed at the hilt.

"... Hm."

"Tanjirou?" Tanjirou jumped, quickly looking down to meet the other's gaze.

Upon seeing Lenalee's wounds now cleaned and bandaged, Tanjirou smiled brightly.

Untended injuries were no good! It might get infected and- Tanjirou looked over his shoulder, watching as the nurses swiftly treated the patients. The nurses and doctors were here for a reason. It would be sad if they learned that there were people injured but not treated to.

_Honestly! Can't you be more like Tanjirou? At least he doesn't scream all day long! Geez!_

He wondered who did those voices belonged to. It felt very nostalgic.

* * *

Upon sliding open the door to the training room, Tanjirou was met with another surprise.

There was Yu, sitting cross legged on the floor, back towards the door.

"Yu!" Tanjirou earned a loud _tch _coming from the small body. Chuckling to himself, a brilliant idea (at least, he thought so) came up to his mind. Taking Lenalee's hand, they sat next to Yu, legs also crossed and hands rested on their knees.

Yu did not bother moving. It was silent.

Eyes closed, they meditated.

For a moment, Tanjirou thought he smelled grief. Pondering to himself, he shook his head.

They continued to meditate.

* * *

Yu seemed to tolerate Tanjirou's presence a little more now, the taller exorcist sighing in relief. Even though Yu wouldn't talk to him much, Tanjirou never minded! Yu might just be shy, after all! Tiedoll _did_ say that Yu didn't like to talk a lot in the first place, too!

"Meditation raises your concentration level. Breathe slowly and deeply, imagine the air encircling your body," Tanjirou said, eyes closed and shoulders relaxed. "My teacher said this a lot."

Lenalee glanced at him, eyes curious. "General Yeegar?"

He hummed. "I think it was someone else, not the general."

"Who?"

_Water_.

"... Not sure," opening his eyes, he beamed at Lenalee. "Hey, why not we try befriending Yu-"

A huge _thud _was heard behind them, Tanjirou and Lenalee looking back with wide eyes. Yu stood there, the door slammed closed behind him.

A very strong stench of annoyance and irritation filled the room, and the rest of the meditation session went on with cooling silence.

"... Still worth a try, though." He whispered.

"Shut it."

And thus, it became Tanjirou's personal goal to befriend the one known as Yu.

* * *

It was really difficult, however. Every time Tanjirou made an attempt to get closer to the smaller child, Yu would throw strings of insults and storm off.

Reever said to maybe give Yu some time to cool off. After all, Yu only recently joined the Order. Just earlier, he had been traveling all over the world for a year with the general. Tanjirou nodded, he would keep note of that.

But something in his mind was nagging at him- the thought that he shouldn't leave Yu alone. Being at a place without friends or people you could trust was something very lonely.

"That being said," Reever patted his shoulder, "the division chief said that the director said to get your check up, already. The Head Nurse haven't said anything about it, right? Might as well give you a heads up."

Tanjirou smiled. "Right. Thank you!"

Reever and Tanjirou was around the same age, Tanjirou believed. So in a way, they were like buddies!

But… Check up. Indeed, it has been some time since he last got his check up. The director… Tanjirou thought of the injuries riddling all over Lenalee's small frame. Frowning, he headed towards the medical wing. He could always befriend Yu later- eventually! Let's just use this time to brainstorm some ideas.

The Head Nurse sighed. "So, the check up."

Tanjirou grinned sheepishly. "Even though I was here with Lenalee earlier, we must've both forgotten, huh!"

The older woman paused for a moment, then nodded.

"Indeed. Get changed out of your uniform, you can leave your weapon at the table over there."

"Right!"

* * *

"Sometimes, it's really hard to imagine. You know, that-" Reever sighed, "kids half my age going to war. You and I are like, I don't know, eighteen. But Lenalee and Kanda, along with all the others? Barely half our age."

Tanjirou nodded solemnly. "Lenalee is eight this year, she got more bruises and scars than I could count already. The CROWs were really rough when taking her back..."

Reever frowned, pondering for a moment. "Hey, y'know? I'm just an apprentice working in the science division- but just remember," he looked directly at Tanjirou, "whenever you need someone to talk to, talk to somebody, yeah? Head Nurse or me… Though I still have to go back and forth from here and the other branches, but…" He sighed again.

"You get what I mean?"

Gaze softening, Tanjirou nodded. "Yeah, I get what you mean." Fixing the bandage around his arm, he stood up. He grabbed for his uniform and sword.

"I'm going to go try befriending Yu, again, before the next mission! Talk to you later, Reever!"

Reever made a laugh, shaking his head. Returning a grin, he waved.

Reever was a good friend. Tanjirou was glad that he got to know him.

* * *

Slowly pushing open the door, Tanjirou peeked into the training room, noticing Yu sitting there again. Smiling to himself, he proceeded to take a step forward- only to stop at the sound of breathing.

That breath.

Burgundy eyes widened. "That breathing style, you know it?!"

Jumping at the sound of Tanjirou's voice, Yu immediately turned around with a look of surprise. Their eyes met- and Yu shot a glare at him.

Tanjirou, on the other hand, never noticed the glare nor the look in Yu's eyes. "That style… It's the Breath of Water, where did you learn it from? I know it, too!" Tanjirou could recognize it from anywhere, it was something he thought only he knew. Seeing Yu do it really surprised him- where did Yu learn it from? Excitement and surprise settled in Tanjirou's heart, it was so cool-

Nose twitching, Tanjirou blinked.

A scent of disbelief. A scent of denial. The smell of hurting. Yu looked horrified.

"Yu…?"

"Shut up, won't you?!" Yu thrashed out, teeth gritted and muscles tensed. He looked… Betrayed? Hurt? Tanjirou wasn't sure. "Just leave me the hell alone! Don't call me _Yu_! Scram!"

"Hey-"

"Stop talking to me already!"

_Dark blue eyes. Long hair and a calm voice, wearing a haori and the uniform-_

"Then, can you be friends with Lenalee?" Tanjirou said calmly, a smile on his lips. Yu stared at him dumbly.

"... What."

"It's okay if you don't want to talk to me, but it's still important to talk to people, right? At least a little bit. Lenalee won't bother you very much! She's a very kind and gentle child, I'm sure you two will get along!"

"What the hell."

Tanjirou grinned.

"You see, you and Lenalee are like younger siblings to me. Even if you say to go away, I couldn't bring myself to. But if I'm really bothering you," he bowed, "at least, please get along with Lenalee."

"... What the hell."

The smell of… Sadness.

Grief.

Yu was crying.

"Don't just come and… Sprout nonsense about siblings…"

Tanjirou patted his head. Yu actually let him.

"Seriously… Don't just sprout nonsense about stuff like that… In a place like this… Or in a place like that..."

"Sorry, I just can't help it," Tanjirou said with a soft smile. "But hey, at least we can all meditate together, right? Without bothering each other," he paused. "Say, can I still call you _Yu_? Or do you want me to call you something else? If it makes you uncomfortable."

"... Whatever you want. Don't care."

Tanjirou grinned.

"Alright, Yu."

Yu was crying silently. Tanjirou said nothing, his hand still placed on top of Yu's head.

Only the sound of breathing and soft sobbing could be heard, and minutes passed.

It went on like that. Tanjirou never saw Yu cry again.

In the end, Yu never told him where he learned the breath from. Tanjirou, however, wasn't curious anymore. It was what it was. During breaks between missions, the three of them ended up meditating together. Tanjirou, Lenalee, and Yu. Together, in that quiet, empty room.

This was all Tanjirou could ever ask for.

* * *

**Thank you for reading! I am happy that many of you enjoyed it, this is Kanda's part of the story! **

**ko.**

* * *

**omake**

**Tanjirou: **Hi there! I am Kamado Tanjirou, it is nice to meet you!

_**Yu**** left chat.**_


	4. Cooked Rice

**04\. Cooked Rice**

There is a certain temperature you use when you cook rice. How much water needed also relates to how much rice you put in the pot, and how much rice you want to cook depends on how much you want to eat, what dishes you want to make. The ratios all depends on the size of the pot you use, too.

The scent of burnt rice faintly brushed past Tanjirou, he blinked.

Right, the finder who got them rice passed away a little while ago. The general Lenalee was under, too. Lenalee didn't wake up for some time now, Tanjirou noted. They said she was to be restrained, but Tanjirou wasn't very clear on the details. Something about Yu made Tanjirou think that the smaller child knew more than he let on. Yu seemed to know something about Lenalee's situation, but he didn't say a word about it. So Tanjirou let it be.

Eventually she would wake up, right? Sleeping too much would also be bad for your health! It's the same idea with not sleeping at all! It was never good to have too much of everything, the Head Nurse told him.

He went on missions as usual, this time with other people. Other people, like Suman, and then General Nine's group. Sniffing out and destroying AKUMAs, he returned back to headquarters, only to find Lenalee still sound asleep.

She was sleeping for quite a while now, huh.

An unknown feeling began to stir within his chest, he wasn't sure what it was.

Pondering for a moment, he heard how they were getting a new chef. Tanjirou couldn't wait! Maybe they would let them enter the kitchen, and Tanjirou could help with the rice! A new scientist also joined the crew. Johnny, he think? Reever told him that he was promising, his skills in tailoring would definitely come to use. Suman and Johnny got along quickly, they played chess all day (well, not really all day, but still)!

He also heard that the science division was getting a new adviser. A lot of things were going on recently!

Tanjirou sat in front of Lenalee's door, his back against the cool surface of the metal. He went on talking about what happened recently, wondering if Lenalee would hear him.

"Reever is also going to stay in the European Branch! Maybe you two will finally meet. It's really funny, you know? You two kept missing each other!" He said, a smile on his face.

"Yu is also working very hard. General Tiedoll is a very good general for him, in my opinion. As the eldest of us three, I'm very proud of him," Tanjirou looked ahead, gazing at the cracks on the ceiling. "I have to work harder, too. As the eldest. Lenalee, you have to do your best as well, alright? I'll cheer you on, you can do it!"

Silence. Quiet.

Standing up, he pressed his forehead against the metal.

Staying there for a few, short seconds, the only thing he could hear was his own heartbeat and breathing.

Ah…

The silence was suffocating, he realized.

"You can do it," he whispered quietly.

Turning on his heels, Tanjirou walked through the icy halls of the Black Order, the end of his coat trailing behind him.

The sword at his side suddenly felt so heavy.

* * *

"Four level ones," Tanjirou said, his back against the crumbling brick wall. "I think the Innocence is in the glass at the northern building."

Suman nodded, activating his anti-AKUMA weapon. Drawing out his sword, Tanjirou took a deep breath.

Narrowing his eyes, Tanjirou frowned. One of the AKUMAs seemed to have… Killed a lot of people. Fifty… No, sixty? Sixty five. Usually once level ones reach the seventy mark, they begin to evolve into level twos.

Not good.

He dashed forward, the air slicing his skin.

_Hold your stomach… Keep your upper body relaxed._

"Forth form…"

Striking tide.

"Tanjirou! Behind you!" Suman's voice. Snapping his attention to the presence behind him, Tanjirou's eyes widened at the sight of the AKUMA's face- black tears and a wide, open mouth. Sound waves. It must be sound waves.

_Tanjirou._

Tensing his muscles, Tanjirou took the attack on point blank range-

It _hurt_. _A lot_.

Struggling to take a breath, he was slammed onto the ground, a stunning pain piercing his body- _his back_. He must had broken some ribs. How many? Involuntarily sucking in a breath- a numbing pain submerged his senses. _It hurt so much_.

"Tanjirou!"

Lenalee was still asleep, Tanjirou had to get up. He could endure this pain since he was the eldest son. Lenalee was still asleep, and he had to be there once she woke up.

Lenalee was asleep.

Oh, that was right. This stirring feeling in his chest, thumping against his broken rib cage. He knew what it was.

Doubt, fear. What if one day, when he came back from a mission, Lenalee was no longer breathing? What if one day, Tanjirou would find her dead?

It reminded him awfully of something, but Tanjirou couldn't place his finger on it.

Tanjirou was _scared_.

The AKUMA loomed over Tanjirou, a cannon right at Tanjirou's face. Tanjirou was still lying back against the ground, mind and body both numb.

"Tanjirou!" Suman was far away, a look of desperation on his face.

"... _Beast breath. Second fang… Rip and Tear... Half_."

Tanjirou tore through the AKUMA, the machine exploding behind him.

Covering his mouth, Tanjirou bent down, his senses screaming at him from all this pain. It hurt so badly, but it was probably nothing compared to what Lenalee must had been feeling. Lenalee was upset. As a small child, the Black Order's murkiness was too much for her. No, it was too much for everyone.

Murky darkness was all the Black Order ever was, after all. Unlike the estate and the houses, the Black Order was not home.

Taking a light breath, Tanjirou closed his eyes.

"No more AKUMAs," he managed to rasp out. No more AKUMAs, but there were too many deaths. He could smell them- the blood of all of the civilians killed in the crossfire. The deaths of the finders who struggled so hard at the beginning without them. Tanjirou had to work harder. Harder, so that there would be no casualties the next time he fought.

Just as how Sabito did.

Sabito… Right, the orange-pink haired kid who helped him… The one with the fox mask.

Sabito and…

Toppling over, Tanjirou embraced the darkness enveloping him. Don't worry, there were reinforcements coming. Suman was here, too. So it should be alright if Tanjirou were to close his eyes… And sleep. Just for a bit.

Maybe once he goes back, Lenalee would be awake.

Maybe this time, Lenalee would for sure…

Be back.

Like Nezuko.

And then he would hug her so hard, telling her not to scare him… Urokodaki would be shedding tears for them, as well.

And then, Tanjirou would finally be able to say it, those words he was meaning to say for a long time.

"I'm home."

* * *

Murky darkness. A suffocating scent. It was really different from the sunshine, dust, and faint anger he was so used to.

Hand twitching, Tanjirou frowned. His wounds were all bandaged and tended to. Waking up in the medical wing, the Head Nurse looked especially grumpy today. He could practically feel the disapproval (and worry) seeping around her. The Head Nurse really cared for them.

Taking a breath, Tanjirou leaned his back against the pillow behind him. His head was a bit foggy, and his muscles were sore from overuse.

Closing his eyes, he exhaled, later opening them again.

"How are you feeling," the Head Nurse said, standing beside his bed. She checked his temperature. He had a fever.

Tanjirou smiled.

"I feel okay! It still hurts a bit when I breathe, but otherwise, I think it's okay!" It was never good to hide any symptoms from the Head Nurse. The Head Nurse just _knew_, after all. When you lie, that was.

The elder woman sighed, she seemed to look more tired than usual.

"You're have three days off. Rest as much as you can."

Tanjirou blinked at her retreating back.

… Off? Three days off?

No, no, wait. The Black Order _doesn't do _offs. Did the Head Nurse bargain with the higher ups?

Pausing for a moment, he sank into his bed, wide eyes staring up to the white ceiling.

Well… That was a surprise.

Fumbling a bit with his hands, the striking silence in the medical wing began to unnerve him. There was supposed to be more _sounds_, like irritating, loud crying and boisterous yells of-

Tanjirou swallowed, narrowing his eyes.

"I don't remember."

"_Tanjirou, do you remember your family?" _Lenalee's innocent, timid question.

A snap, and everything began tumbling in. All sorts of emotion- confusion, something boiling under his skin, fear, doubt, anxiety, _everything_\- he felt so numb before. It was like he was in the clouds, and Lenalee always looked at him with this face of worry- Yu looked so angry. So disappointed. So upset.

Tanjirou gasped for air, a piercing pain striking his lungs.

_What was it, what was it?_

_What was I missing?_

That one question.

There was this one question.

"Where was I before the Black Order?"

_Big brother._

Tanjirou struggled out of the bed, tearing out the IV line stuck to his arm.

_Big brother._

_Tanjirou._

Dragging his legs across the floor, his body felt so much heavier than usual- he hated it, this slugginess.

_Tanjirou, breathe._

There was this sense of desperation in his heart- Tanjirou couldn't place his finger on it-

Hold it. Hold it! Something was wrong, Tanjirou _knew _it!

_Big brother, breathe!_

His heart was beating so fast, he had a fever. His forehead was burning hot- this happened before. He knew it.

"CROW," Tanjirou rasped out, glaring at the shadows along the walls. He always knew they were there, that eerie presence and muffled out scent.

"What have you done?"

A panicked yell.

_Big bro-!_

Everything went black.

Tanjirou fell onto his knees, as if strings attached to his body were cut out of existence. He was a puppet. Tanjirou realized.

No, he remembered.

Paper with a certain scent were stuck around him, sucking away his ability to control his own body- the CROW were surrounding him. It hurt. The paper hurt. He recognized this pain. He felt this pain so many times- that was right. Back in the Asian Branch. Before meeting those two, after meeting those two. Leaving those two. Forgetting those two. Alma and Yu.

_Breathe. Breathe. Remember Kamado Tanjirou, breathe! You're the Fire Pillar, breathe!_

Eyes closing shut, Tanjirou was trembling. His body wasn't moving, but he was trembling.

He didn't know why, but he felt this need to apologize.

So he did.

_I'm sorry, Lenalee._

* * *

The moment she saw that empty bed, the Head Nurse nearly dropped everything. Eyes wide with disbelief and fear, she immediately thought of the implications of this warning flag flaring at her face.

Kamado Tanjirou. The child who would do embroidery with her during what little free time they had. The child who never broke a single promise he made with her, ever since he swore not to after nearly breaking both of his legs.

The bed was empty. The IV was torn off, she could tell.

Gritting her teeth, she gripped the medical files in her hands tightly.

"This time, I was still unable to protect you."

Lenalee was barely conscious. Ever since she was found mentally ill, nearly a year ago... Things just got worse. Her mind wasn't here, and Tanjirou was _gone_.

Being sorry wouldn't do.

The Head Nurse knew.

Lowering her head, she held back a tremble.

"I'm sorry."

* * *

**Thank you for reading! **

**ko.**


	5. Burnt Rice

**05\. Burnt Rice**

It was like walking through the rabbit hole in _Alice's Adventures in Wonderland_. Lenalee recalled seeing the book's cover from the outside of big, glass windows. She never read it before, but she did heard about it occasionally. It was a sunny day, and for a moment, she nearly forgot all about the horrors that would haunt her everyday. Children were running about without a single care in the world, seeming to be playing this game- Lenalee couldn't place her finger on it. What were they playing?

Turning away, she entered the train. The rattling of the train tracks took away her attention, and she stared out of the window.

It was a sunny day.

Lenalee opened her eyes. A dusty ceiling met her sight.

A tear might had slip from an eye.

"Home," she whispered. "Let me go home."

Usually it would be only silence that responded to her whispers. Usually, only the cold eyes of the demons lurking in the shadows would peer down at her. But just this time, it was different. Lenalee didn't notice immediately, but it was different.

"But you _are _home, Lenalee."

Lenalee stared at the owner of the voice, her eyes widening-

Komui smiled, sitting by her side. He was wearing a white uniform- but no, his face, this presence, _big brother-_

"Sorry for making you wait so long," he didn't have to say that. He shouldn't be sorry, he didn't need to apologize for something like this. It wasn't his fault, it was never his fault!

"I'm home, Lenalee."

Lenalee broke into tears.

They were finally home.

* * *

Recuperation was slow and difficult. Truth to be told, Lenalee didn't really want to do it. If she were to fully recover, that meant she would have to go… Back. She didn't want to. She was scared.

"It'll be alright, Lenalee," Komui said- Lenalee still couldn't believe her eyes that he was _here_, right in _front _of her.

_Are you sure? _She wanted to ask. Komui seemed to have read her mind.

"I'm sure," he said, holding her hand. Once she was brave enough, she tried letting go.

"Don't worry, I'll be right behind you." Lenalee wanted to believe him, but it was very hard.

Each step was hard. Each breath was difficult. But when she remembered that Komui was _here_, Lenalee tried a little harder.

_Len… Best… I'll cheer… You on… You can... do it!_

Holding a breath, she pressed onward, her foot leaving to ground. Lenalee hadn't taken a step for nearly a year, her legs felt so heavy. Dark Boots at her feet wasn't helping at all.

_You can do it._

Pausing for a moment, Lenalee took another step.

Ah… That was right. There was one more person she had to thank. Tanjirou was cheering her on. His voice, she heard it. Behind that metal door.

She took another step.

Right after the session, Lenalee went to look for Tanjirou.

* * *

There were more people than what Lenalee last remembered. It kind of overwhelmed her. Swallowing, she made small, nervous steps through crowds of busy people, afraid to bump into them.

Burgundy hair… Burgundy hair… Her eyes widened.

"Tan...jirou!" She grabbed onto his sleeve.

At that moment, it came to Lenalee that there was so many things she wanted to say. _Countless _things. Her throat felt tight. There was this sudden urge to cry.

Even though each day of the Black Order was like hell and a thousand thorns stabbing her heart and mind, it was Tanjirou that made it slightly better, slightly more breathable.

Tanjirou. The sun. His presence. His smile. Tanjirou.

_I'm sorry for suddenly disappearing._

She wanted to say.

_I want to thank you. _

She wanted to say.

_Thank you for all this time._

_Thank you for cheering me on. _

_Thank you for being there for me. _

_My big brother is here. _

_He came for me- I want you to meet him. _

_I want my big brother to meet the person who is like big brother, you. _

_My big brother told me about the new head chef, Jeryy. _

_We can eat rice. _

_We can cook rice._

_You can tell me more about Reever-_

_We can meditate with Kanda._

_I missed you._

_I missed you._

_I missed you!_

Tanjiruo turned around, and just barely, Lenalee noticed the bandages peeking out from the shadows of his uniform-

"Hm? Oh! Are you also an exorcist?"

Lenalee stood there, frozen.

For a brief moment, she was reminded of Kanda, and-

Everything went down to hell again.

* * *

Something crashed, and Kanda frowned. Stooping to the training room, he slid open the door, staring into the empty room.

(He wasn't expecting someone to be there. Hell no. Definitely not some guy with a stupid smile, stupid earrings, stupid everything and hair. That would just be… Stupid.)

Blinking, he took a few steps in and glanced to the side, the area beside the tall shelf.

… Oh. Lenalee. He did hear something along the lines of her waking up. She collapsed for… Some time, now.

Silently, he found a spot on the floor and sat down, crossing his legs.

It was quiet.

An unknown feeling began building up within Kanda- and damn his guts. Tiedoll did say that his intuition was rather sharp, but still.

… Judging from that girl, however, he could've guessed why she had such an expression on.

It was too easy to figure out.

"... It happened... To you, before," a soft voice broke the silence. Kanda remained unfazed, his back facing the girl.

"He said that he was from… The Asian Branch, like you…"

Lenalee's voice was like shattered glass. Kanda exhaled, his breathing even. It would come to this, wouldn't it?

_Hold your stomach. Keep your legs firm. Now breathe- Oh! This is amazing... You're a natural in this!_

"... He taught it to me. The Water Breathing." With Alma.

After a few, short seconds, he heard a sniffle.

"I see."

Another silence. Lenalee pursed her lips.

"Do you… Think it's possible? For him… To... Remember..."

Kanda closed his eyes.

"... Even if he did, he'll just forget again."

Lenalee paused.

It was silent again.

Her voice sounded as if it was breaking.

"... It's too sad. I don't want him to forget."

Silence.

Understanding.

"I know."

She was taking it better than expected. If someone actually had thought of that, Kanda thought solemnly to himself, they would be idiots.

In this tiny makeshift family, Tanjirou was the eldest son. The two of them were the younger siblings.

_And General Tiedoll could be the dad! _Tanjirou would cheerfully say, Kanda immediately drawing out Mugen with means of murder in response.

That was a year ago.

After accidentally getting his leg caught by the train tracks on his way back to the Black Order, Lenalee was said to be restrained. Tanjirou was only pacing around the halls in front of her cage, a worried look on his expression. It all fell apart.

"I don't want him to forget," Lenalee repeated.

Kanda nodded.

Total concentration breathing. The Water Breathing. Kanda never needed it, but it still saved him so many times.

… He hated it, too. Whenever Tanjirou forget. He already done it so many times, after all. Back in "wonderland."

He hated it.

* * *

If Komui were to say what was his greatest regret, it would be not being there when Lenalee needed him the most. But as the world was ruled by the laws of cause and effect, it was only _now _that he start doing something, not before.

No matter how much he regretted, he could not change the past. Komui was only a scientist and a brother, so let's use that to the fullest- and perhaps create a better future for those clinging on this decaying plank known as the Black Order.

So when Komui first saw Kamado Tanjirou, more specifically, Kamado Tanjirou's file, the paper naturally crinkled in his hands. The ink on the yellowing paper was faded from age, combined with a musty smell of moss lingering on its pages-

Komui closed his eyes.

Joining the Black Order, the first thing he did was to memorize each and every name among the exorcists. After being promoted, he looked through the names in the archives. He haven't saw everything from the Leville records, but he managed to get everything else. Opening up another folder, he got to the sixth lab- the second exorcists and its predecessor.

The Black Order. The people running the Black Order.

How much further did they have to go into this rabbit hole until they were satisfied? At this rate, no matter what they do, no matter what result they would have- the Millenium Earl would win.

He must change it. He _have _to change it.

Komui Lee would change the Black Order. For Lenalee, for the exorcists, for everyone putting their lives on the line, for all the lives lost for this rotting line.

"I won't be too late, this time."

He promised. So he walked forward, standing across Kamado Tanjirou. The burgundy haired man was leaning against a wall, gazing at the bat-winged golem hovering around him.

"It's not annoying," he heard him murmur. "Not like the crow."

Komui wondered what he meant by that.

"You are Kamado Tanjirou, right?" A little after Lenalee calmed down and the siblings hugged (in that dark, small room that Komui couldn't fathom _how could they cage a child in such a place?_), she told him everything. Almost everything. Tanjirou was like Komui, she described. The sun, a big brother. A person with a kind voice. A kind person with a kind voice.

Tanjirou nodded slowly, and then Komui recalled how Lenalee ran into him in distress, crying to him that _Tanjirou doesn't remember_.

"Yes, I am Kamado Tanjirou," he smiled. "You must be the new advisor."

Komui nodded, returning a nearly wobbling smile (Komui internally hoped that nothing gave it away). "I am Komui Lee, the new advisor… And Lenalee's older brother."

Tanjirou blinked.

"Lenalee?"

Swallowing, Komui nodded again.

"Yes. She is… A little girl, around this height," he motioned vaguely. "You were partners with her."

Tanjirou stared ahead. The visible bandages wrapped around his smaller frame disturbed Komui.

Then to Komui's surprise, he smiled. It was a soft, quiet smile.

"Yes, I know."

Komui stared at him.

"Wh-"

Tanjirou swiftly placed a finger over his smiling lips, a calm expression on his face. Suddenly, the teen in front of him was older in age, and a person of great experience and history was standing before Komui.

"_The crows are watching_," Tanjirou said in quiet Chinese.

Crows. As in the Central Office Battle Corps.

Komui's heart was rampaging in his rib cage. He lowered his voice.

"_You… Still remember?_"

Smiling sadly, Tanjirou subtly shook his head.

"_No. Not everything. Only a little… Nothing from before,_" he paused, "_a miscalculation on their part_."

And lady luck at his side.

Komui swallowed, his lips were suddenly dry.

"_Are you sure… To tell me?_"

If the Central were to find out, Tanjirou's memory would be fully wiped. The risks were too high.

The Black Order only wanted "ideal soldiers," after all. A Tanjirou without memory never questioned anything and did his job without fail. It was "perfect." The thought of that made Komui's insides squirm with a heavy feeling.

As if pondering for a moment, Tanjirou paused briefly, a frown on his face.

Then again to Komui's surprise, the burgundy haired man chuckled, beaming at him.

"The scent does not lie, Mister Lee."

Oh.

"You smell like burnt rice!"

The taller man snorted, covering his face with a hand.

"I see…" Komui said, struggling hard not to laugh. "Lenalee told you that, right?"

Tanjirou continued to grin. After a short moment of silent giggling, Tanjirou's grin slowly dropped into a somber, knowing smile.

"_Next time I won't be lucky. I will definitely forget everything. Including Lenalee, just like I did with… Yu, I think,_" he gazed upwards, as if trying to see the sky below the dusty ceiling. "_Next time will be soon_."

It was inevitable, Komui knew. He knew that Tanjirou knew, as well. Even with Komui's current position, his influence was not enough. It was only the beginning. It was a waiting game. Only time could tell.

As much as Komui hated to admit- Tanjirou was right.

Next time, pushing it, would probably only be within a year. And during this time frame, Tanjirou had to pretend to not know Lenalee or Kanda, or anyone he knew previously.

Komui understood. He read through the files, he knew who Tanjirou really was. The eldest son of a traditional family. He understood. He gets that mindset- to be in a traditional family. The Black Order was awful. To take advantage on someone like that- it was just...

The mindset of a traditional family. That was why Tanjirou could endure it so long. That was why Tanjirou was forcing himself to endure it all.

… The Black Order was truly an inhumane place to live. Komui could see why Lenalee was so attached to Tanjirou. Tanjirou was like a fireplace, bringing about warmth in this cold place. He was like a furnace. Like the sun.

Sucking in a breath, he opened his mouth, letting the words flow out.

"Hereby, I name you a member of the Lee family."

Tanjirou stared at Komui with wide eyes. Random, he knew, but Komui wanted to say it so badly for some time now. He wanted to, ever since Lenalee told him: _Tanjirou helped me! He saved me!_

"From now on, you are the second son, Tanjirou. On my behalf, please protect Lenalee, and when things get tough… You can always depend on me, the eldest son. Will that be alright, Kamado Tanjirou Lee?"

Kamado Tanjirou Lee. An odd way to put someone's name- but it had a nice ring to it. A smile reached Tanjirou's lips and suddenly, he was a child, laughing again.

_Kamado Tanjirou Lee. Kamado Tanjirou Lee. _It still sounded so funny, hearing this name. Tanjirou really liked it.

"Yeah, okay. I will be the second son, now," he said between giggles, wiping away a tear. "I'll be depending on you, oldest brother Komui."

Komui nodded, patting his shoulder. "And I'll be depending on you, too. Tanjirou."

The first thing Komui did was adding the hot springs.

Then it was "take care," and "welcome home."

Komui's office slowly became messier and messier, and eventually it was swallowed by paper, paper, some books, and more paper.

But the Black Order _did _become a _little _bit more… Livable. Like _actually _livable. So under piles of scattered paper and stress, Komui could muster out a small, proud smile- probably one out of relief that _it was working_. _Just a little bit_.

It was a first step. Komui knew it.

(The smell of burnt rice remained.)

* * *

**_Notes:_**

1) In Japanese and Chinese, the surname/family name/last name is usually written first before the first name (Kamado Tanjirou). In English, however, Kamado Tanjirou would be written as Tanjirou Kamado (like, you wouldn't write Allen Walker as Walker Allen).

While writing this part, Tanjirou Lee Kamado / Tanjirou Kamado Lee sounded really funky to me, and considering Tanjirou, he probably would hold the Kamado name very closely (being the eldest son of the Kamado Family), so it just felt wrong to have Kamado in the middle.

Hence, I ended up writing it as Kamado Tanjirou Lee, as Komui and Lenalee's names are usually introduced with Lee at the end (Lenalee Lee, Komui Lee), so like a combination of both Japanese and English naming styles.

2) _Alice's Adventures in Wonderland _is written in 1865 and D. Gray's in the 1890s-1900s _it works_-!

**This is part 2 of the chapter "cooked rice," actually. Kamado Tanjirou has become the official unofficial representative for Komui Lee in regards of the safety and well being of Lenalee Lee.**

**Thank you for reading! **

**ko.**


	6. Mission of All Seeing I

**06\. Mission of All Seeing Part I**

Kamado Tanjirou has forgotten in the total of seventy six times. Later on, Lavi realized that it was in fact seventy five times.

The first seventy four all occured in the sixth lab. The dates were written clearly in his old record files. Thirty of them, Tanjirou's memory was reseted due to Central issued procedures. As for the other forty four, Tanjirou forgot by himself- probably due to the constant stress placed upon his mind and body.

Tanjirou's body, unlike the second exorcists, was not artificial. It did not have the regeneration capabilities and enhancements the second has. To make up for this, certain modifications were done to his body during the sixth lab. Apparently around twenty to twenty five years ago, the Black Order found his body perfectly preserved by Innocence in the famed Fire Pillar of the Demon Killing Corps' grave.

The rest was self explanatory.

The second to last time Tanjirou's memory reset was only partial memory erasure, an error on the Black Order's part. The most recent one occurred six months later, after Tanjirou presented… Undesired behavior in the Central's eyes.

After that, Tanjirou never forgot again.

Six years passed since then, and Lavi joined the Black Order.

Confidential reports naturally found itself in his hands.

* * *

And just as naturally, he did not say a word about it.

"So, while the Central's science division produces things with purpose and direction, you guys just make whatever that comes up to mind," Lavi said plainly as Johnny and Tup spit out their coffee.

"W-well," Johnny started, pushing up his glasses. Pausing for a moment, he nodded somberly. "That's true."

Lavi grinned. "Cool."

Reever sighed, holding another pile of folders and books. "Well, can't blame us… I guess we're just too, I don't know. Impulsive… Innovative? Creative?"

"Destructive."

The scientists looked at him blandly. "That's Komui."

"You guys are too interesting!" Lavi laughed. "So? Give me some examples."

Reever raised an eyebrow. "Of Komui's destructive tendencies?"

He shrugged, an amused smile left on his lips.

Putting down the pile on an already filled table, Reever placed a hand on it to prevent it from toppling over. Bringing out his other hand, he began counting using his fingers.

He continued to count.

A minute passed.

Reever gave him a heavy look. "It's best if you see it yourself."

"Oh."

Scooping up his newly fixed uniform, he prepared to depart for his next mission.

* * *

An explosion sounded, Lavi sighed again. Turning on his heel, he pulled out his hammer-shaped Innocence. With a building momentum, he whacked the AKUMA to the other side of town- grimacing at the excessive damage he unintentionally caused.

Big Hammer Little Hammer was difficult to use. Very. But wrecking a few buildings here and there in the name of the Black Order should be okay, right?

"Incoming!" That was Tanjirou. Making a back flip into the air, the burgundy haired exorcist dodged a level two's attack.

Landing beside Lavi, Tanjirou took a short breath- a Water Breathing form, Lavi recognized- and shot his sword forward, piercing the midsection of the AKUMA.

Another explosion bursting into life (Lavi was starting to get annoyed by all these bursts of AKUMA poison, can't they just die without being so flashy?), the two quickly headed for the next enemy, avoiding the smoke.

"There's still a few more level ones," Tanjirou said, unblinking. "One, two… Five... About twenty?"

Lavi hummed. "That many, at least before reinforcements come, huh!"

Tanjirou nodded, rubbing his nose his index finger and thumb.

They handled it quickly.

* * *

"So, how many AKUMAs did you destroy?" A friendly conversation. On hindsight, Lavi should've chosen a different topic.

It was silent, and Lavi wondered if he accidentally broke the shorter exorcist, just like the buildings he wrecked earlier.

"... Forty four," Tanjirou finally said. Lavi blinked, then he smiled.

"I got twenty six."

Catching up with the finder squad, they were quickly debriefed of the situation and was supplied with other necessary information.

"The keeper of the Innocence is the girl," Bookman nodded towards the small lady standing at the side, an old, wooden box in her hands. "Keep her and the box safe and get out of as much danger as possible. We're heading back."

Lavi nodded, slowly gazing towards the girl. She was very small, probably still in the single digits. Tanjirou bent down, giving a bright smile to the girl. They chatted for a bit.

Lenalee was right, Tanjirou was a "big brother" figure. It was something handy, actually, when it comes to negotiating with little kids. Children can be real annoying, even Lavi didn't have the patience to handle snot-filled kids. Speaking of which, oddly enough the girl didn't seem very scared. As a matter of fact, the look in her eyes was… Unsettling.

Surely, she wasn't an AKUMA. If she was, Tanjirou would know- unless there was something wrong with his nose (which, to Lavi's knowledge, was very unlikely). But there was something about her eyes that bothered the young bookman, he just wasn't sure-

_Oh_.

Her eyes. They were just like Doug's.

Sharp and seeing.

Quickly shaking his head, they began to depart through the ruins.

"This is Lavi," Tanjirou was saying, gesturing towards the taller teen. Lavi gave a friendly grin, waving at the girl as she continued to stare at him. "He is also an exorcist! He's also very tall, so he can see danger right away!"

Wow. Some way to entertain kids. Tanjirou was giving him too much credit.

"And _this _fella here has a very good sense of smell!" Lavi said with a sing-song voice. "Just like a dog!"

Tanjirou nodded enthusiastically. "Yup! I also have a very hard forehead…"

She poked his forehead and her eyes widened. They broke into a silent laughter at her reaction.

The night was cool and damp, it had rained earlier. Stepping over a puddle, Tanjirou quickly reached for the girl's hand, helping her over some debris. It was dangerous to stop, but it was important to take short breaks- so that the finders and the girl could keep up. Komui had stressed the importance of resting. Being awake was better than half-collapsing during a battle.

Especially at a place like this, where it was all dark and surrounded by destruction, proceeding in a certain, constant pace was important. If they were too rushed, the AKUMAs might notice. If they were too slow, well, the AKUMAs would still notice. Either way, once the AKUMAs arrive, they would need to have enough energy and strength to fight- and that was the key.

Finders had the life supplies they needed, they quickly shared a bottle of water.

"Is the box a memento?" Lavi heard Tanjirou said softly. The air was cold, the humidity making it cooler.

The girl shook her head.

"A traveler gave it to me," she said quietly, her voice meek and small. "It's a music box."

Tanjirou blinked. "A music box?"

She nodded. They were resting beside a large pillar. Leaning forward, Tanjirou looked closer at the box, observing the cracks along the wood.

"It's pretty."

"Is it?"

He nodded, smiling.

"Yeah."

Lavi closed his eyes, pulling their conversation to the back of his mind. It took them nearly three days to get here without much sleep, exhaustion was slowly creeping up on him.

The moment he felt Tanjirou twitch beside him, his eyes snapped open. Exchanging glances with his fellow exorcists, Tanjirou made a subtle nod- a silent signal.

_AKUMAs. They're here._

His one visible eye met the younger girl's sharp, wide ones. He gave her a somewhat reassuring grin.

The large pillar behind them blew up.

* * *

What happened afterwards was… Blurry. Blurry, which was rare for a bookman- it was no good if one of their logs was _blurry_. Lavi was lying on the ground, a ringing sound in his ears- shoot, did his head hit something? Struggling to sit up, he found blood around him.

"Ah…" Fortunately, he studied medicine and first aid before- it would be okay. Hopefully he didn't get a concussion, though. That would suck.

Sitting up, he carefully assessed the surroundings and situation- some AKUMAs, three level twos and a few level ones. Bookman and Tanjirou was fighting. He must had gotten knocked out cold for a few seconds.

Swinging his weapon down, he hammered an AKUMA into the ground with a huge _crash_\- the AKUMA screeching and summoning cannons filled with deadly star poison. Clicking his tongue, Lavi made another swing, activating the fire stamp as it burnt into crisp.

The AKUMA screamed harder, and the ringing in his ears grew louder- he suddenly felt weak in his legs.

_Not good, not good!_

There was a soft whimper. His single eye peering towards the source of the sound, his gaze was met with the young girl's panicked form, her wooden box kept tightly in her embrace.

Lavi summoned another stamp, the AKUMA exploded and he headed for the next.

Joining the Black Order was a sudden. One day, out of the blue, Bookman told him about his plans. "Deak" was kind of caught off guard, startled by the sudden change. Shortly, "Deak" was stored away as one of his many logs, and "Lavi" began. The first thing "Lavi" recorded was a lost battle. There were a lot of coffins, but "Lavi" couldn't get himself to care- until he saw Lenalee.

It was really strange.

A friend today could be an AKUMA tomorrow. Death was close, especially in the Black Order.

… Sometimes, Lavi hated his memory. Why did he have to remember everything so clearly? He wondered how many "Tanjirous" had really existed in this world. They were so similar, yet so different.

Turning around, most of the AKUMAs were destroyed. Judging from the shade of the skies, it was nearing daybreak.

_Keep going. Keep going. It's almost over. It'll be finally over. _

… _When did I start having these thoughts?_

_Maybe I should talk to Doug, when I meet him again. A second thought might help._

Another page was turned, Lavi stared at the sight before him. The sound of thunder ripping through air echoed in his mind.

"... Shoot."

* * *

"Don't worry, Lavi, Bookman, and I are very strong! I'll protect you, so it'll be alright!" It was dark and quiet, the girl was shivering. Tanjirou grabbed a spare blanket and wrapped it around the girl.

The music box was very pretty, even Tanjirou could tell it was made with diligence and care. When the girl cracked the lid open, the two of them peering inside, there was a little fairy in the middle, motionless and still.

It was beautiful.

"Maybe she's a fairy princess?" Tanjirou asked with a smile, the girl shrugged.

"I don't know…"

She told him about the traveler she met. He was asking for directions, and she helped him- when no one else would. Her parents didn't even gave him a glance, the girl was really bothered by that. After helping the traveler, the traveler gave her this box. Later on she realized was a music box, not just some random, old thing.

"Did you listen to the music?"

She shook her head.

"It wouldn't turn."

Her eyes. Actually, something about her eyes reminded him of something. They were… Special.

_Like Kanao's_.

"Do you really think it'll be okay?"

Tanjirou blinked slowly, then he smiled softly.

"Yeah. It'll be hard, but once we get past that, it'll be alright."

"But what if we don't?"

"... Well," he gazed down at the little fairy, then he grinned at the girl. "Just as we don't know if we would succeed, we also don't know if we would fail!"

The pillar blew up, and Tanjirou used lull.

* * *

"Three level twos and five level ones!" One of them must have some sort of teleportation or hiding ability, their presences abruptly appeared out of nowhere. Pulling out his sword, the character _metsu _under the full moon, Tanjirou leaned forward and _jumped_.

_Water breathing. Forth Style._

Bookman was already on his feet, activating his weapon as he fought against one of the level twos. Lavi- oh, he was okay. His smell was slightly wavering, but it quickly recovered.

A blow suddenly hit his torso. Tanjirou was blown away.

Crashing into some debris, Tanjirou coughed out blood- this sound, all he could hear was the loud thumping of his heart.

_Get your breathing right. Get it right!_

Taking in a shaky breath, he exhaled. Two AKUMAs loomed over him, the smell of iron and rust filled his senses.

_Water breathing-_

Cannons were surrounding him. They shot at the same time.

_Dance of the Rapid Current._

Wait.

Where was he?

He turned, trying to catch any landmarks- one of the level twos was gone, where was it?

The girl.

Tanjirou's eyes widened- they were scattered. The exorcists. They were too on about fighting, now they were too faraway from each other. It was really dark, but- wait.

_Wait_.

Where was the finders? Did they all-

Oh. The clothes. The finders were gone. Then the girl- there was she. But wait, that smell, there was an AKUMA there. An AKUMA was there!

"H-hey!" His voice, he couldn't get his voice out. Lavi, Bookman! Someone! No, Bookman noticed, but the AKUMA he was fighting caught him- Lavi, he didn't hear him, was something wrong? He smelled blood and injury- there was something wrong with his ears-

Tanjirou had fought in the Black Order for a long time. He saved and fail multiple times.

The girl, where was she going? That way wasn't safe! Don't go there!

Tanjirou was too faraway. It finally hit him. _He was too faraway_. The girl was in danger, she was going to get killed- he was here but the distance- it was too far. Faster. He had to be faster. Quicker. Before the AKUMA get to her- he couldn't see it, but it was there. It was invisible.

Ah…

His mind was blank. This never happened before. He made a mistake- members of the Black Order never truly trusted their backs to each other. It was unwise, what if one of them was an AKUMA? No one would know aside from Tanjirou and the gatekeeper. Because of that, Tanjirou trusted people easily. Because of his sense of smell, he trusted that they would catch his back, because he _knew _they were trustworthy.

But there was no one to catch his mistake. He thought someone would be right there, like how Lenalee or Yu would zip-zap and everything would be fine again.

Tanjirou was wrong. Lenalee was not here. Yu was not here. Bookman was aware but he couldn't get there, and Lavi lost his ears.

Tanjirou was here, but he was too faraway.

The AKUMA was looming down at her, he could see her expression as clear as day- her eyes were widening. She _saw _it.

He bit his tongue, panic filling his senses- pulling his legs forward, he tried to run.

_I have to reach her._

_I have to reach her._

_I have to get to her!_

_Breathe._

_I promised her!_

_Breathe, Tanjirou._

Time stopped, and someone was standing behind him. Tanjirou could feel it.

A flash of yellow flickered at the edge of his vision.

_Grasp it. Use it._

That voice. It was small but firm, Tanjirou heard it before.

_You can do it. I know you can. You did it before, you can do it again._

_Pump all the air into the muscles in your legs. Put all the power into your legs. All of it. You remember, don't you?_

"_Breath of Lightning_," Tanjirou breathed, "_first form_."

_Thunderclap and Flash._

A sharp _crunch _was heard, his blade sinking deep into the AKUMA's shell.

_Godspeed._

The AKUMA burst into dust and poison, the demon hunter shielding the girl. Turning back, he noticed the specks of stars slowly forming on her skin. The virus. It got to her-

The look in her sharp, seeing eyes were soft.

"Thank…"

Hope was shattered into a million pieces. All that was left was a small, wooden box.

* * *

**This chapter takes place about a few months after Lavi joined the Order, before the incident in the second Reverse novel of D. Gray. **

**Thank you for reading! **

**ko.**


	7. Mission of All Seeing II

**07\. Mission of All Seeing Part II**

_He remembered the estate. It was for the new Pillar, the Fire Pillar, a good friend of his. It would be more fitting if he was named the Sun Pillar, but the young adult shook his head._

"_It's for the late Flame Pillar, and in respect for the god of fire."_

_Leaning against the wooden wall, the shorter man let go of a soft breath. The demons were all gone. Kibutsuji Muzan was defeated. The young head, Ubuyashiki Kiriya, was now in his mid-teens. The Demon Killing Corps continued to exist, except not for slaying demons. Now, all they strive was to survive, protect, and live peaceful lives, passing down the art of their respective breaths. _

_It was hard to live a life without danger, he realized, despite the fact that he nearly passed out every time they went on a mission._

… _Maybe it was just that they were too used to it. Trying to integrate back into normality was hard. Kiriya was trying his best to keep everyone together- but everyone seemed so lost._

_Of all people, Zenitsu thought he would be able to do so, but he was wrong. The scars on his face still hurt, not to mention the recent injuries running across his forehead. It hurt like hell. When Aoi wrapped his head with bandages, she looked concerned and frustrated. She didn't know what to do to fix it, unlike Shinobu, who, if she was still here, might be able to. _

_Zenitsu hoped that Aoi wouldn't be so bothered about it though. It wasn't her fault, after all. It just kind of… Happened._

_But still. Thinking about it, bleeding from his head out of the blue? No wonder he couldn't go back to living like a normal human being!_

_Grumbling about the pain from his headaches, good and beautiful Nezuko was preparing some snacks. Zenitsu hadn't visited in a while, traveling across Japan with his sword hidden at his back and wondering where to go next. To make up for this, he brought gifts, rice cakes from a faraway village. It tasted good. The Kamado siblings would like it._

_Glancing out to the front yard, where a beautiful sunset lies, he spotted Tanjirou. The younger adult was sitting on the porch, chatting with another person- some guy wearing western fashioned clothing. A new friend, he supposed. Nezuko carried a tray containing his rice cake gift and tea, she offered Zenitsu a cup._

_The sunset was beautiful._

…

_He missed Gramps._

* * *

"How are they?" Komui's voice echoed through the phone. Bookman exhaled quietly, tired eyes glancing to the other two. They settled in a nearby town, borrowing the phone. It was daytime.

"Physically, okay. Mentally, they're exhausted. It was a hard day."

For a few seconds, nothing came out of the phone.

"... I see, that's… I see."

Tanjirou had curled up to himself, his face hidden behind his arms. Him and Lavi was sitting at the side, waiting for Bookman to finish his report.

"The finders should be there very soon, you guys head to the train station once you're ready."

Bookman nodded. "Acknowledged."

Lavi sighed, lightly prodding the bandages on his ears. He must had busted something, but thankfully, it was getting better. That, and… Hesitantly, he glanced at Tanjirou. He hadn't said anything since last night.

Tanjirou. The seventy sixth Tanjirou in record, but actually the seventy fifth one. For six years, according to the report, he never forgot again. But in other words, he never remembered as well.

Lavi sighed again. It was awkward.

"Kamado," Bookman started, the burgundy haired exorcist barely stirring. Staring at the solemn form of the exorcist, Bookman closed his eyes, taking a seat beside them.

It was… Quiet.

The music box felt weird in his hands, Lavi staring holes at it. Shifting a bit on his seat, he poked Tanjirou's shoulder.

"I think you should… Hold on to this," Lavi said, mentally cringing at the crack in his voice.

Peeking from under his arms, tired, burgundy eyes met Lavi's green one. Slowly sitting up, he nodded, taking the box. There were rather dark shadows under his eyes, Lavi noted.

Back in the Black Order, when he looked through Tanjirou's files, Lavi noticed how his synchronization level was in the hundreds. He could already become a general.

That, and he still looked as if he was in his late teens. Tanjirou was already well into his twenties- or thirties, wasn't he?

Lavi wasn't sure if it was the side effects from his time in the sixth lab, or was it because of Innocence. It was like Tanjirou was permanently a child.

"... You've experienced this many times," Lavi decided to say. "You promised her that you would protect her, but it didn't work out. Except time wouldn't stop, and the world isn't kind to any of us.

"Once we get back to headquarters, let's go to Jeryy's and get some good stuff to eat. Maybe poke some fun at Yu, too."

Lavi winced as Bookman gave him a look. He knew, _don't get too attached_, but seeing Tanjirou like this really… Sucked. It just made everything seem so gray and heavy and- well, he sort of get what everyone meant by Tanjirou being the sun now.

… Let's not talk about the time he accidentally promised Lenalee that he would look out for him. It was really embarrassing.

"So, what do you say?"

Slowly, Tanjirou nodded, and Lavi let go of a breath he never noticed he was holding.

The Second Exorcist Project and its predecessor. Lives that were brought back from the dead- everyone they knew probably no longer exist anymore.

...What was the use, thinking about that?

He should ask Doug later, when they meet again.

* * *

He observed the inner workings of the Black Order. He watched in detail how the staff were overworked- but somehow still filled with undying enthusiasm.

_Komui_, he reasoned. _Of course_.

Tanjirou raised the music box shaped Innocence to Helveska, the latter gently taking it from his hands. Watching it float up into the air, the wood of the box slowly peeled away- the metallic cogs and the fairy figurine in the middle melting into its original shape: a cube.

Like a shooting star, it shot into one of the many pockets of Helveska's storage, the light vanishing as quickly as it appeared.

The mission was complete, the Innocence was secured.

The girl still died, though.

It was a pity.

He recalled the conversation Tanjirou had with the girl. The music from the box, no one heard it before. It was truly a pity- it never got to be heard, even though it had taken the shape of a music box.

Perhaps they would be able to hear it one day, once it found an accomodator to share its cursed mission.

Yawning, Lavi stretched his arms. He was feeling rather tired, he ought to go take a nap later.

"She reminded me of someone, actually," he heard Tanjirou say. Glancing at him, Lavi nodded along, urging him to continue.

Tanjirou's gaze lingered ahead, towards the area where the Innocence levitated and vanished.

"I think it was her eyes. She reminded me of someone… Someone important to me in the past.

"Like you said, I promised to protect her, yet she still died. Before that all happened, we talked. She told me that she could see these lines around me, that it was unsettling. She told me about the music box- and most importantly, that there were people standing behind me. Invisible people- but they were there, behind me. People who I might know, people who I might recognize.

"But I couldn't see them."

Tanjirou smiled. It was a sad, small smile.

"I once had a thought. _I want to become stronger. Stronger than anyone._ Maybe like that, those who I love won't die anymore. Everyone who I cared about, my little sister, my family... My mentors and friends. Everyone.

"It's tiring, you see. It's very tiring. Sometimes, it would get so bad, so bad that it would be nice if… Everything just ended. Burned away, dissipated. But wouldn't that just go against everything I stand for? Everything I promised to protect?"

He laughed, turning towards Lavi.

"The music box's melody depends on the person. The girl had told me in secret, that the _song would only play when you have lost something crucial to your heart_. Soon after, you gave the music box to me, and right then and there, I heard it.

"The song I heard was a lullaby, a song about a little rabbit with red eyes.

"But the thing is- I don't remember where I heard it from. It was so, so familiar. So familiar and distant."

Tanjirou's hands were clenched into fists, and a chill ran down Lavi's spine.

"I was frustrated."

Half a year passed, and Lavi agreed.

It was a silent agreement, something he wasn't allowed to proudly say aloud.

But when the AKUMA exploded and Lavi was left with tears he never noticed in his eyes- something in his heart broke and _oh._

_I had a friend. _

In comparison to the moment Tanjirou reached out and the girl shattered behind him, Lavi stood before the dust and poison that used to be his best friend.

His first real friend.

Shutting his eyes closed, he cried.

Allen Walker joined the Order shortly after. They met up after Rewinding Town, the kid brooding over there about his injured eye. At that moment, Lavi noticed how the cogwheels began to turn. It was very subtle, the cogwheels barely moving an inch- but to someone like Lavi, it was apparent.

The race for the Heart has officially began.

They had run out of time to mourn for the dead.

* * *

_Red spider lilies. They were everywhere, scattered and beautiful. He remembered that sight. A river that crosses between the dead and the living- and those red flowers. _

_Zenitsu remembered that he once stood on the other side before, face to face with his mentor- eternal tears dripping from his eyes. But now they were… Here. The side where Gramps once stood. Everyone was beside him. Everyone except Tanjirou._

"_We're dead."_

_He nodded._

_Inosuke looked very sad, his face scrunched up with frustration and anger and grief._

"_We're dead."_

_There was a hint of annoyance when he muttered out a reply._

"_Yeah, you said that already."_

_He wasn't annoyed, though. Rather, Zenitsu felt free. He recalled the aching in his chest- the place where that traitor stabbed him. It was painful at first, drenched in betrayal and pure hate, but the pain immediately washed away and he heard nothing. Gratitude had filled his senses. It came to his realization that he wanted to thank him, the man who killed him. Those last years were so, so painful. He couldn't hear anything clearly, and everything was so muddled- muddled with so much hate, hate, and hate. But now it was over, he could hear things again._

_There was blood everywhere, he recalled. And then it all vanished._

_His only regret was that he could never hear those beautiful, peaceful sounds of home again. _

… _He hasn't heard them for a long time._

_"Tanjirou, sorry."_

_He looked ahead, and Tanjirou woke up._

_Beautiful, precious Nezuko had shed a tear._

_Life moved on._

* * *

***takes a deep breath* ****This marks the end of the first part of _setting sun_! ****Thank you for reading and for your continuous support! **

**ko.**


	8. Extra: Wonderland

**08\. Extra: Wonderland**

It was stuffy, underground. Stuffy and cool, making it very cold. He sat absentmindedly on the railings made of clay and rock. There was mist coming from the holes filled with water along the ground.

The kind man with blonde hair brought him a thick, cozy blanket. He accepted it with a smile.

* * *

"H-hello! I'm Alma, who are you?"

Peering down from his seat, Tanjirou blinked slowly. A boy with black hair and blue eyes was looking up to him, a curious look lingering in his eyes.

After a few short seconds, the boy waved his hand in front of his face.

"Hello? Are you with me?"

Tanjirou blinked again.

"_Aru...ma?_"

Pausing in surprise, shortly, the kid broke out into a grin.

* * *

"Hello! It's me again. Hm, do you live here, too?" There was a boy with black hair and blue eyes. Tanjirou stared at him.

Earlier, Edgar gave him a book- an English book, so that Tanjirou could practice English. Not a lot of people in this place- wherever he was- spoke Japanese, after all.

"... Ye… Yes," he tried, his face scrunched up. English was weird.

The kid grinned, he smelled very happy and excited.

Then a blurt of gibberish came to Tanjirou's ears.

"You know, I'm actually not supposed to be over here, but then Edgar and the others were being _real _stingy recently, so I came here- and I found you! They didn't catch me last time and I don't plan on letting them to do so this time, either! You remember me, don't you?"

Tanjirou continued to stare at him.

The kid paused, a weird look on his face. Glancing down to the book that Tanjirou was holding, a look of realization reached his expression.

"... Oh, so you don't know English?"

* * *

A kid with black hair and blue eyes had dropped down from the ceiling. When said kid dropped down from the ceiling, Tanjirou had jumped out of his seat in surprise. There was an IV line stuck onto Tanjirou's arm- he collapsed earlier, according to the blonde haired man.

"Hey, it's me again!" The kid said, a bright smile on his lips- who was he?

The kid scooched over, sitting on the ground beside Tanjirou's chair. He kept rambling on about stuff- many stuff, nonstop. There were some words the taller couldn't understand.

The blue eyed kid was strange- but the scent he gave off was familiar.

Tanjirou kind of liked it.

* * *

"_Who… You_?" Tanjirou felt dizzy, there was a bright light above his head. Of the many people in white surrounding him, he spotted the man with the blonde hair first. They were talking about stuff, their voices low and quiet- it sounded strange to his ears, but for some reason, just a little bit, he understood what they were saying.

The blonde haired man, though- Tanjirou felt like he met him before. He smelled… Familiar. There was also this scent of sadness and worry, mixed with a sense of duty and doubt. He frowned.

Half of the people here had no idea what they were doing.

What was Tanjirou doing here in the first place, too?

The world faded into black, the last thing he saw being a sad frown on the blonde haired man's face.

* * *

"So… You don't actually remember me, do you."

Tanjirou looked up. There was a boy with black hair and blue eyes standing in front of him, his eyes glued to the ground. The boy was fidgeting on the spot- he was distressed, Tanjirou could tell.

The kid shook his head. "Nevermind me," a weak smile formed on his lips. "By the way, you should try some mayo. It's really good!"

He tried some, it was really good.

* * *

"Anyways, Tanjirou, like I was saying…" The kid rambled on, making wild hand gestures in the air as he spun his tales.

Tanjirou thought the kid was funny and strange- he wondered what his name was.

* * *

"Tanjirou, your medicine," a man with blonde hair walked up to him. Tanjirou stared at him for a moment.

"Uh," the burgundy haired teen scratched the back of his head. "You are…?"

He caught a whiff of heavy sadness, but it was quickly covered by a scent of self-persuasion- as if holding back.

The blonde man made a wobbly smile.

"I am Edgar Chang."

* * *

"Come on, Tanjirou~! You gotta remember my name- Alma, _Alma_. Remember it! Don't you dare forget it, okay?"

Alma pinched his nose, Tanjirou broke out laughing, trying to catch his breath.

* * *

"It is… Nice… To meet you," Tanjirou tried saying, English was really hard. Smiling up to the kid with the blue eyes, Tanjirou extended his hand.

"My name… Is Kamado Tanjirou. How… Ab… About you?"

The kid stood there for a moment, motionless. After a second or two, he smiled and took his hand.

"I'm Alma! You _got _to try out this dish- it's really good!"

* * *

Tanjirou smiled- it was a soft, happy smile.

"Hello, Alma."

Alma was gaping at him, eyes wide and jaw dropped to the ground.

* * *

"He's forgetting less, _he's forgetting less_," he heard Alma say. He sounded so happy, Tanjirou was glad for him.

Edgar was smiling, too, it was a happy, tearful smile.

"Yeah, he's forgetting less. One day, he won't forget at all. I know it."

* * *

He forgot.

* * *

"This is… Asian Br… Branch?"

The lady standing in front of him nodded. She had a frown and a stern look on her face. She seemed tired.

"Asian… Branch…"

Tanjirou smiled.

"_Asian, huh._"

* * *

He wanted to go home. This wasn't home. It was too dark- too deep underground. This wasn't home. Where was home? His entire family died- no, not everyone- but-

What was he missing? He was missing something. The kid's eyes- they reminded him of that man's so much. The color, that is- it's a peaceful, cool blue, just like-

Who was it.

He was sure that the man was-

Who…

A tear slipped down an eye, Tanjirou shivered. He wanted to go home, but his mind was all fuzzy and he couldn't remember where home was.

Who was he?

_Breathe._

He took in a trembling breath. He felt so, so tired.

_Breathe, Tanjirou._

It was so lonely, underneath the ground, away from the skies, away from the clouds. Away from the sun. Away from...

* * *

"It's me again!"

Tanjirou turned around, a kid with black hair and blue eyes tackled him, the two of them toppling onto the ground.

He blinked.

The kid was laughing, sitting on top of him- it reminded him of something, Tanjirou wasn't sure what it was.

"Ah, I'm Alma," the kid, Alma, said suddenly. Standing up, he offered a hand for Tanjirou. Tanjirou took it.

The child's touch was very nostalgic. Tanjirou suddenly wanted to cry. Taking in the familiar scent, he let Alma lead him through the underground maze. The kid kept chattering on, Tanjirou never minded.

* * *

"A new friend! We have a new friend! After so long, we have a new friend!" Alma was jumping up and down, a smell of pure happiness reaching Tanjirou's nose.

Tanjirou smiled. "A new… Friend?"

Alma grinned.

"His name is Yu!"

* * *

A familiar child walked over to Tanjirou sulking.

"Yu hates me. He hates me _so _much. I don't like him, too. He's so broody."

Tanjirou blinked slowly.

"... Huh."

"I want to introduce you to him, but he's being so… Ugh, I just can't stand him."

Tanjirou nodded.

"Okay."

"I'm Alma, by the way."

"Oh."

A silence.

"I'm Tanjirou."

* * *

"Come on, Yu! I want you to meet someone!"

"Hah? Stop dragging me around!"

"There!" The door opened, and two kids entered Tanjirou's room. A whiff of familiarity reached Tanjirou's nose, and the older teen turned around.

"Hey, Tanjirou! It's me, Alma! This is Yu I was talking about earlier!"

Standing up slowly, Tanjirou nodded.

"Uh… Nice… To meet you?"

* * *

"This is… Water Breathing, first form," Tanjirou said, smiling. Forming the stance, he chuckled softly as Alma tried doing the same.

Yu only stood there, frowning.

"What the heck is a water breathing."

Alma quickly shot Yu a glare, but Tanjirou chuckled again, shaking his head.

"It's okay, Alma. Water Breathing… Is a breathing… St… Style. A sword… Tech… Technique."

Yu raised an eyebrow.

They practiced together.

* * *

"... Wouldn't you be annoyed? You have to keep introducing yourself again and again."

"Aw, Yu, I didn't know you cared!"

"Shut it."

Alma shook his head.

"It's alright," he grinned at Tanjirou. "Tanjirou still remembers, I know he does. He recognized me, don't you?"

Blinking, Tanjirou slowly nodded.

"Alma smells of mayo."

They laughed.

* * *

"Hold your stomach. Keep your legs firm. Now breathe- Oh! This is amazing... You're a natural in this!"

Yu quickly looked away, Alma giving him funny looks.

"Hey~ Yu's getting all shy!"

Yu quickly whacked Alma's head.

* * *

"Nice to meet you, my name is… Kamado Tanjirou."

The two kids stared at him. The one with the scar over his nose smiled.

"I'm Alma, this is Yu."

* * *

"You two are like… Little brothers," Tanjirou said one day, suddenly.

Alma stared at him, a surprised look on his face. Yu pretended not to listen, but Tanjirou could tell that he was paying attention.

The oldest of the three smiled.

"We're like… A little family."

* * *

"Did you two got into an… Another fight?" Tanjirou said, raising an eyebrow as Alma crossed his arms over his chest, pouting.

"It's Yu's fault!"

Yu glared daggers at him.

"Say what, you-"

Sighing, Tanjirou quickly stopped the two before they tore each other into pieces.

The scientists smelled of pure gratefulness as he handled the two children.

* * *

"Meditation raises your... Con… Concentration level. Breathe slowly and deeply, imagine the air encircling your body," Tanjirou said, eyes closed and shoulders relaxed.

"Full Concentration Breathing… Can do a lot. It can do many… Things… Like first aid… When you are injured."

Alma hummed.

"But we heal real fast. Do we really need it?"

Gazing up to the ceiling, Tanjirou shrugged, later smiling at them.

"You never know… When you need it the most."

* * *

"I'm Kamado Tanjirou, nice to meet you!"

"I'm Alma, this is Yu!"

* * *

"Tanjirou~ Why you got to teach them sword techniques, they're killing us every day!" One of the scientists cried, clinging on to Tanjirou's shoulder.

Tanjirou make a shy laugh as Alma and Yu caused more destruction that night.

* * *

"It's painful, you know. The synchronization tests hurts a lot. Do you have to do it, too?" Alma looked up to Tanjirou as the older hummed.

"Synch...ronization tests? I'm not sure…"

Yu huffed. "Well, it's not like you would remember."

Alma glared at him. "Hey! That's mean!"

Quickly breaking the start of their fight, Tanjirou rubbed the back of his head.

"I'm not sure, actually… They would have tests, that I know. But synchronization tests? I don't know what that is…"

They tried explaining it to him, Alma making sounds of explosions and Yu giving him an extremely blunt description.

Frowning to himself, Tanjirou shrugged again.

Later that afternoon, Tanjirou felt a sharp pain flooding his senses, and everything went black.

* * *

"... You… You really don't belong here, in the end."

Tanjirou turned his head towards the source of the voice. A lady stood there, she had pinkish hair and eyes. She seemed... Different. Different from the usual people.

The lady sighed, shaking her head. She wore a small, gentle smile.

Her scent- it was faint, but it smelled of sadness.

"You can do it. I'm rooting for you. Show them who's boss, and eventually… You can go back to your home. Your _real _home."

* * *

"I'm Alma, this is Yu! We're your little brothers, Tanjirou!"

Tanjirou blinked, staring at them. They smelled… Very familiar.

He smiled.

"Is that so? It's nice to meet you!"

The two kids- Alma and Yu, smelled a bit sad. Tanjirou tried to make them happy, the three of them exploring the labs together.

The three of them.

Yu took his hand. Tanjirou blinked.

He smiled.

* * *

The paper wrapped around his body hurt.

Everything hurt.

There were people talking, but he couldn't make any sense of what they were saying.

A blonde man came in, yelling loudly.

"Stop it! That's enough, let him breathe! You're hurting him!"

He closed his eyes, his cheeks wet and- he felt so tired.

He let the darkness swallow him whole.

* * *

"He's stabilizing. That's a good sign."

"Five years, it took five years," Edgar sighed, rubbing his temples. "Alma was only here a year ago."

Tanjirou could hear them, but he didn't say a thing as he continued to feign sleep.

Alma… Who was that?

* * *

They gave him a uniform and a sword. The weight of the sword was very nostalgic, he stared at the black blade- the word _Destruction _etched near the guard. The guard, too, was familiar.

It looked like flames- fire.

_Set your heart ablaze._

"You will be transferred to the European Branch. From now on, you are an exorcist, an apostle. Destroy the AKUMA, defeat the Millenium Earl. Find and secure Innocence, it is your duty."

Tanjirou nodded, his earrings dangling on his ears.

_Set your heart ablaze. Live with your chest high._

_I believe in your sister. I accept her as a member of the demon hunters._

_Don't be saddened by the fact that we are all reaching the end._

_I believe in you._

He was an exorcist. He was a demon slayer.

Tanjirou gripped the hilt of his sword.

He was a demon slayer.

_He was missing something, something important._

Tanjirou just couldn't place his finger on it- what was he missing?

* * *

"Bye bye, Mister Edgar!"

Edgar was standing at the gate, he looked as if he was holding back some tears.

"Yeah," he said, patting Tanjirou's shoulder. "Bye now, Tanjirou. We won't be seeing each other for some time, but… Stay healthy, remember to take breaks, alright? I'm sorry I won't be able to help you anymore… But…"

Tanjirou smiled softly. Edgar was shaking.

"It's alright, Mister Edgar. Thank you for taking care of me all this time!"

Edgar paused for a moment, then he smiled.

Tanjirou could tell that he was very sad.

"Be safe now, Tanjirou."

Tanjirou nodded, and he left.

Entering the European Headquarters, a new chapter began.

* * *

**Thank you for reading! It's really funny, originally, the story was going to only be ten chapters long, but from what I see, it's definitely going to be longer than that (haha). Have a nice day!**

**ko.**


	9. Tiny Snowflakes

**09\. Tiny Snowflakes**

The first time Allen heard of Tanjirou was on a train ride to a German town, where said German town had a phenomenal case of a repeating- well, rewinding- day.

"Brother was really worried," Lenalee had said, the rattling sounds of the train soothing the soul. Stalking pass other passengers, the girl chuckled to herself.

"He really wanted Tanjirou to come with us, with his keen senses and all, but he's on a mission around Mongolia- pretty far away, don't you think?"

Allen blinked. Mongolia, right. That was far away, but-

"Tanjirou?"

Lenalee quickly stopped in her tracks as she turned around, a look of surprise on her face.

"Oh, that's right… You haven't met him. He's an exorcist, like me and you. Tanjirou and I usually end up in a team, along with Kanda."

Allen sputtered. "_Kanda_?"

She giggled.

"Yes, Kanda. Kanda _does _have friends, you know! And the two of them are actually pretty close!"

It was a weird thought, Kanda being close with somebody despite his… Attitude. Shrugging to himself, they continued their way through the train.

"That, and… Tanjirou is a very kind person," Lenalee said slowly, Allen paying close attention as they looked for empty seats. "I think you'll get along with him very well!"

She was smiling brightly, but Allen frowned. There were hints of sadness in her voice.

He wondered what made her have that feeling, thinking of this Tanjirou.

* * *

It sucked.

It really sucked.

Having your eye get stabbed by a melting candle in the middle of who knows where? Horrible. Having this tree of an eyepatch guy poke fun of you every two seconds the moment they stepped outside? _Horrible_.

Having Lenalee ignore you for the rest of the afternoon?

Allen wasn't sure how to feel about that.

(But it was devastating. _Extremely_.)

Poking at the bandage stuck over his left eye, Allen sighed. It was healing okay, but it would still take a while before it fully healed up. Bookman did say it was regenerating by itself- not sure how, but Allen was no expert in the medical field. Would he even be able to see out of that eye? Would he even be able to see the AKUMA's _soul _out of this left eye?

Priorities, priorities. A tang of guilt tackled Allen in the gut, and his mood quickly soured again.

… He was pretty horrible saying such things at Lenalee, back at the rewinding town. He knew.

Lenalee was trying to help. But for Allen, the AKUMAs-

He sighed, bending down to splash some more water onto his face. Looking up to the mirror, he took a deep breath.

"It'll be fine, let's go."

It was not okay.

The moment the two had (finally) made eye contact, Lenalee swiftly turned away, and Allen felt his confidence drop down to the pit of his stomach.

The death of a general, the race for the Heart. The beginning of a crucial battle- to find and guard his master, General Cross. All of that news from Komui made the world tilt in an angle, and things went dark. Thinking about it, at the report of General Yeegar's death, Lenalee had looked a bit spooked. Did she know that general?

Allen frowned. To hear about news of someone you knew pass on…

"But it would be really convenient of Tanjirou was here, you know~" Lavi sighed, slumping down on his seat.

Allen blinked at that- Tanjirou, right. The person Lenalee was talking about…

"What do you mean?"

Lavi sighed again, his hands behind his head. "Tanjirou got a real good sense of smell! He met the general before, so if it was Tanjirou, he could probably just sniff him out!"

Allen blinked again.

"Smell… Is that even possible?"

Lavi gave him a look. "Sure it does! Bro, _you _can see the AKUMA's soul, don't ya? Except Tanjirou wasn't cursed like you, he was born with it. He could sniff out _anything_, including emotions!"

Lenalee made a dry smile. "And AKUMA." Allen flinched at that.

Bookman hummed. "I wonder if he would be able to sniff out the Noah, too."

"Oh yeah, can't he also sniff out Innocence, too? I remember him saying that, once. He really surprised me then. I didn't expect that."

"He got a mission at Mongolia, but by now all missions except for protecting the generals should be suspended. If General Cross is way over at Asia, we're bound to meet up with him, then."

Allen stared at them.

"... He's… Pretty amazing, isn't he."

Lavi grinned at him.

"Yup!"

"That being said, Allen," Bookman turned to face the younger exorcist. "You still can't open that left eye of your's, right?"

Pausing for a moment, Allen nodded. His left eye… Right.

Bookman continued without stopping. "Get that eye healed quickly so you can stand watch for the AKUMA. We'll be needing your left eye so we can make swift judgments to keep civilians from getting mixed up with the AKUMA."

"Understood… " Nodding again, Allen quietly peeked at Lenalee. She was looking away again- a rather cold expression resting on her face. It was a bit… Scary, truth to be honest, to see her with such an expression.

Shifting nervously in his seat, the next part of their train ride ended up in quiet silence- and Lavi's occasional jabs. The moment the train reached the next stop, Allen steeled himself and stood up.

Lenalee had gotten up to get some groceries- dinner. Following after her, the thumping of his heart beating against his ribcage turned more and more intense-

_Calm down. Calm down, already!_

He ought to go talk to her. It was only right.

… Right?

Upon seeing Lenalee's back far ahead at the food stall, Allen suddenly felt even more anxious.

He felt sorry, after all. Very sorry. The guilt was unbearable- Allen wasn't even aware that he could feel this way since Mana.

Shaking his head, Allen swallowed and took a daring step forward.

The clink from Lenalee's money being given to the stall owner rang in his head.

"Lenalee."

Slowly, she turned around. The exorcist was holding onto a paper bag filled with some boxes and cartons. It was for everyone.

"Um… Well, thinking about it…" Shifting on his feet, he took another step forward. "Ever since that time…"

_The souls screaming, crying, _dying_. Road _laughing_. A human being laughing._

"We never really talked... I think…"

_Suffering. Suffering. Suffering._

'_Why did you stop me?!'_

_A taken back expression. A look of betrayal and frustration-_

"About that time…" Holding his breath, Allen bowed, ninety degrees and all. "I'm very sorry."

Lenalee was standing in front of him, the paper bag held tightly in her hands.

She placed the bag on his head.

"Don't lift your head."

"Ah? Uh- yes."

"Because I haven't forgiven you yet."

Allen kept silent, his head still lowered and face facing the ground.

After a quiet silence, Lenalee sucked in a breath.

"You're so selfish, Allen. _Nobody can see the AKUMAs but me… _Carrying all that burden yourself, and sacrificing only yourself in battle.

"What are we friends for?"

For an instance, he remembered the dog that licked his hand- years ago. His left hand.

"Don't make a fool out of me. Why don't you let me fight by your side? I told you, you could really get along with Tanjirou. The both of you, seriously…! I hate it. Your left eye, I really hate it!"

Lenalee's voice was shaking. Allen continued staring ahead, towards the ground.

"I'm your _friend_!"

He recalled the dog who made itself his little companion.

He recalled the little grave that settled beside that tree, the snow falling and world spinning.

"Sorry… Lenalee." Looking up carefully, he noticed how Lenalee was on her knees, her hands covering her face- oh, there were tears. Tears for him. Tears for _Allen_.

Allen felt a bit lost, trying to find the right words. He ended up using the words he felt would work the most- the words that surfaced in his mind first.

"Thank you for helping me."

Lenalee immediately snapped her head up, glaring at him.

"I'll _always _help you!"

Quickly snatching the paper bag away, Lenalee marched back to the train, never looking back.

The dog, Allen, had stolen a ball from the circus supplies- if red arm didn't go get it back, it would only be _him _who gets punished. Yet the dog ended up tossing the ball into the air, the world turning quiet and-

Allen smiled to himself, softly.

He really respected Lenalee. For her strength, her kindness… Standing up to leave, he turned around with a weight lifted from his shoulders, a weight he never realized that was dragging him down-

-The train had left without him.

Allen might have cried a little inside, dragged away by desperate (and rather terrifying) villagers.

"_There's a vampire in town!"_

* * *

"General Yeegar was Tanjirou's general, actually," Lavi had said. That time, they were on their way to meet up with Lenalee and Bookman. Krory, their new addition, was gaping at the streets of China- a look of astonishment pasted on his face.

Gazing at the older teen, Allen nodded.

"... Oh."

He wasn't sure how to feel about that.

Lavi shrugged, plucking a leaf out of a bamboo plant. "Now that we are in Asia of all places, I wouldn't be surprised if he was assigned to General Cross, too."

Allen frowned, pondering for a moment.

"Lenalee did told me about him, a little bit… They're partners, right?"

Lavi hummed. "Usually, yes. Yu teams up with them from time to time. Those three stick together a lot- it's like they adopted each other. You only joined the Black Order recently, so you wouldn't know. The Order wasn't a good place to be at, back in the days."

… The incident with Suman was heartbreaking. Allen felt like he could understand what Lavi meant that day, just a little bit.

The sky was so red, as if the heavens were bleeding. It was so scary and cold, and Suman only wanted to go back home.

He learned about the Fallen. He learned about Suman.

Allen recalled the numbing pain. His arm was gone, his heart was gone, everything was gone. Suman died. His soul was dead. He told Timcanpy to run, take Suman's Innocence and run for it- he said it with cooling calm, but it was all a bluff.

He was terrified, frightened at the thought of dying. He didn't want Timcanpy to leave, he didn't want to be alone- but he also wanted Timcanpy to survive. His team needed help. They needed Timcanpy in order to find his master.

(Why did his master want to go to Edo, in the first place? Wasn't Japan taken over by the Earl for some time now? Allen never understood him. He doesn't think he would ever will.)

He was tired, and he felt his life slipping away from his fingertips. Allen hadn't felt this way for so long- but this was so much worse. It felt horrible.

Allen wondered why.

(He already knew the answer, it was just that he wouldn't admit it. Lenalee's expression as she told him that she was his friend- it stung him. It continued to stay with him.)

Eyes slowly opening, he was met with the sight of a dusty ceiling.

He was tired.

_Don't stop walking._

Slamming his injured arm against the huge gate, red splattered and stained the walls. Red, just like his arm, his missing left arm that he hated yet now loved so much-

It was strange.

When he was given a chance to be an exorcist again, he took it without hesitation.

_Never stop, keep walking._

_Keep moving forth._

He missed Mana so much.

* * *

The first time Allen met Tanjirou was in the Asian Branch. It left a rather odd impression on him.

Back leaning against the large gate, Allen sighed aloud. Training with For was outright dangerous, he lost track of how many times the guardian deity nearly sliced off his head- _scary, absolutely terrifying_.

Gazing upwards, he stared at the ceiling far above. The Asian Branch was mainly underground, a maze. It reminded him of Martel, his first mission in the Black Order.

At this point, Allen was starting to get used to the missing weight that used to be his left arm. It felt… Different. He felt light, like a feather. His arm was real heavy, like an anchor- he supposed that was why.

Yet at the same time, the lack of his left arm… He wasn't sure about it. Maybe he wasn't as convicted as he thought he was, about being an exorcist-

He shook his head quickly.

_Stop thinking like that. _

Allen had to quickly get back to his feet. Lenalee and the others needed help- whatever his master was trying to do in Edo, it wouldn't be pretty. He couldn't just be stuck here!

_So stand up! Stand up and go!_

_Get your left arm back, like how you recovered your cursed eye!_

Sucking in a breath, Allen nodded to himself.

_Focus._

_Focus._

_Focus!_

Suddenly, Allen felt his heart drop like an anchor, and with a shaky breath, he sat back down, head lowered and everything.

_But there got to be a reason why my Innocence wouldn't synchronize with me... Right?_

Just briefly, a small tingle was heard. The sound was gentle, like bells swaying under the distant, summer sun-

"Whoa, your hair _is _white like snow. It looks so soft!"

Blinking, Allen quickly looked up, and silver eyes met bright, brownish-red.

There were card-like earrings dangling beneath the other's ears.

The stranger standing in front of him was wearing a light tank top and pants- the material reminding Allen of what was used to make the black exorcist uniforms. Subtly, he noticed long scars that crossed over the other's shoulders, digging into tan skin- old injuries. A fighter.

… An exorcist? If Allen were to guess, he must be around his age.

Abruptly, a striking sense of familiarity hit Allen, and Allen stared at him, eyes wide and all.

The man smiled, beaming at him.

"You must be Allen Walker. Komui told me a lot about you!" Earrings swayed as he inched closer, Allen getting a better look on the other's injuries- there were a lot.

Scars of all sizes, old and new. As the stranger was standing and Allen was sitting, Allen could see this scar underneath his chin. A stab mark- wouldn't that have went through his tongue?!

"Though I did heard that you have a parasitic type anti-AKUMA weapon- oh," the burgundy haired teen quickly quieted down at the sight of the empty space replacing Allen's left arm. "Sorry… You've been through a lot."

Not must've, not probably.

Allen was at a loss of words.

"Your smell… There's a lot going on your mind, huh," the teen said, taking a seat beside Allen. "How do you think of the Asian Branch so far?"

Pausing for a bit, Allen shrugged. There was a lot on his mind, but none of it has anything to do with how he thought of the Asian Branch.

So he settled with one answer.

"It's… Different."

The teen grinned.

"Isn't it."

Stretching out his arms, the burgundy haired teen leaned back against the wall. "Headquarter's built towering into the skies, yet the Asian Branch is mapped out underneath the earth."

Brownish-red orbs gazed towards the bandaged left shoulder.

"From what I see and hear, you're trying to get back your Innocence. Hard, isn't it."

Allen shrugged again, eyes lingering at the ground. There were a lot of cracks on the rock tiles.

Burgundy gaze softened.

"Do you know how to forge a sword? You keep striking and striking, getting rid of the impurities and excesses. Eventually, you'll earn yourself a powerful blade, an extension of one's self," he gestured vaguely in the air, bringing his hand down as if striking a sword. "It's the same thing for anything else, actually.

"You start off with an ore- a raw piece of rock. You start from there, and you set off. What is your blade going to be like? No one knows, but it's still here, is it not?"

He pointed towards the center of Allen's chest. Allen stared at the hand covered in calluses and cuts.

"I still smell traces of it, a faint yet distinct scent and- huh," he blinked. "You smell kind of familiar, that's weird.

"Have I met you before?"

… _Huh?_

"Tanjirou, there you are!"

Jolting at the sudden voice, Allen spotted Bak running up to them, a baggage in his arms. He seemed to be in haste, beads of sweat gathering as he took another step forward. Noticing the scientist, a bright smile formed on the burgundy haired man's face.

"Mister Bak!" He stood up to greet the scientist.

Bak blinked, noticing Allen. "Oh, you already meet Walker... Well that aside, I got your new uniform, headquarters sent it over- the master also finished up with your sword, here it is," a sheathed katana was handed over to the other as Allen continued to stare.

The man- exorcist- _Tanjirou_, laughed sheepishly, scratching the back of his head. "Sorry for all that trouble, I never realized my sword was chipped! Though how is the master? I haven't seen Zuu Mei Chang for a long time!"

Bak rolled his eyes. "He's doing well, in fact, _too _well. Just thank him later, here- take this."

_Wait._

Allen slowly sat up straight, a look of uncertainty growing on his face-

_Hold on._

"Oh, that's right…" Tanjirou blinked, absentmindedly. "I have yet to introduce myself, I'm very sorry about that! I wonder why- maybe it's just that you seem so familiar, I never thought about the need to introduce myself!" Donned in uniform, the burgundy haired exorcist turned around, sword tucked neatly by his belt.

And silver eyes widened at the familiar sight of black and gold.

Gold, like the uniform his master donned. Gold, like _general gold_.

"My name is Kamado Tanjirou Lee. It is very nice to meet you, Mister Walker!"

Kamado Tanjirou Lee.

_Kamado Tanjirou Lee._

General Yeegar's student.

A general.

Adjusting his uniform, Tanjirou made a low hum. "Marian Unit is heading for Japan, right?"

Bak stared at Tanjirou blankly.

"You can't possibly-"

Tanjirou beamed at the scientist as the latter made an exasperated groan, hands covering his face.

"Sorry Mister Bak, but Lenalee, Lavi, and Bookman are all there, right? I've got to go help them! Besides, Japan is my hometown! And from what I see, this is a very important mission, right? I'll also wear a coat, the Earl won't realize that I'm a general!"

"But that doesn't mean you can just-!"

Tanjirou's voice went dark. "I'll tell Komui."

Bak quickly paled.

"You don't mean-"

"About your pictures of Lenalee."

Silence.

Tanjirou turned away. "Now that's settled, set a course to Edo! I'm heading over!"

"Wh-_Tanjirou_!"

"And Allen," Allen quickly sat up straight, his eyes meeting the other's. Tanjirou smiled, a small, bright glimmer in his eyes. "I'm sure it'll work out, the turmoil in your heart. Once it does, come to Edo quickly. I'm pretty strong, but that's just that. You want to fight, too, right?

"In the meantime, keep the Asian Branch safe. It's a promise."

Quickly nodding, Allen stood up, and Tanjirou's smile softened.

"Thank you for taking care of Yu and Lenalee during your missions. I heard all about it… Including Suman."

Something got itself caught in Allen's throat, and Allen felt his heart drop again.

_Oh. He knew._

"... Yeah. I..." He paused for a second. "Lenalee and the others, they told me about you, too. It's... Really nice to meet you. Thank you."

Tanjirou laughed. It was a pure and happy laugh.

Pure, happy... And a little bit sad. Like Lenalee's smile, when she first talked about him.

"See you at Edo."

It was really strange, his first meeting with Tanjirou. As the general's silhouette quickly disappeared among the shadows, Allen's gaze continued to linger ahead. For had nearly hacked off his head again- for not paying attention to his surroundings.

… Tanjirou was strange.

He couldn't say a word when they conversed.

A level three ambushed the Asian Branch to take Allen's life, and Allen returned as a white caped clown.

Very soon, he entered the Noah's Ark and reached Edo. Stranger things then happened as him and many others were trapped in the ark- their lives and time on the line.

When he played the piano and heard the lyrics playing in his head, an unknown feeling stirred within his heart.

Timcanpy watched carefully.

Timcanpy was always watching carefully.

Tiny, little snowflakes drifted down from the skies.

It was time to go back home.

* * *

**The main reason why I started this fic, actually, was so that Tanjirou could say some wise words like Rengoku. That being said, t****hank you for reading!  
**(To answer one of the reviews, in this au, Tanjirou is still in his own world! Other important notes should be in the first chapter. Hopefully that answers your question!)

**ko.**


	10. Thank the gods

**10\. Thank the gods**

It was beautiful. The city, that was. There were sparks of light, and Tanjirou felt this lump in his throat.

He distinctly remembered what occurred in Edo, Japan. It was his first step returning to the land he knew was once his home, and before he knew it, the beautiful city before him reduced into void.

Tanjirou knew that the Millennium Earl was strong, but this was an overkill, wasn't it?

The night sky stretched long, and to be honest, it was kind of cold. Shuffling in his coat, borrowed and all, he unsheathed his sword.

The night was when the demons lurk.

_So fight._

Taking a deep breath, Tanjirou moved.

* * *

"So _that's _how the Millennium Earl look like? I was expecting something different!" Was the first thing Tanjirou said as he shot forward, deflecting a blow for Lavi as the redhead yelped in surprise.

"Tanjirou-?! Well, yeah, that's how he looks like but besides the point-!"

With a twist of his wrist, he blocked another attack- a stray bullet from a nearby AKUMA.

"Tell me about the situation," Tanjirou immediately went professional, voice and presence both calm and firm, unwavering. Swallowing, Lavi quickly debriefed him of their current predicament- a bookman knew what was to say the best.

Furrowing his eyebrows, Tanjirou frowned. Lenalee was the target- a potential "Heart" of the Innocence. It was a bit concerning, no, very.

"... I've been wondering, but like..." Fumbling with words, Lavi sighed. "Would you know if a fragment is the Heart?"

Pausing, Tanjirou shook his head.

"I wouldn't know, probably. Each fragment has its own unique smell, but they all have the same underlying scent. The Heart… Perhaps I can, but I don't know yet."

Detecting the scent of the Noah, however, was a entirely different story.

He heard about them. Bak had told him about it- everything he needed to know, and everything they knew about them. The sudden appearance of the Noah Clan. The culprit of his teacher's death. It was also the very reason why Bak wanted him to return to Headquarters immediately, but Tanjirou thought otherwise.

There was no way he was going to let Lenalee and the others charge headfirst into Japan, the _Millennium Earl's territory_, just like that. There was simply no way- it just goes against everything Tanjirou stood for. He was now a _general_, and a general was supposed to protect. Support.

So the moment he set foot onto his homeland- eerily enough, the Earl's land as well- he breathed.

Aroma drifted, the world changed.

He could trace them, their scent. _They're all here, here and alive. _

He went to search for them, and he found them, and then he encountered the Noah, the _Earl_.

This stench hit him- and Tanjirou nearly gagged. _So many of them at the same place- and it was the first time he even met them_.

Momentarily, their eyes met. It was just an accident, but Tanjirou couldn't help but look up, the air shifting around him. It was really just an accident, but their eyes still met. Cool, grinning amber to wide, burgundy red. Cold sweat ran down Tanjirou's back and a shiver went up his spine.

"Kamado Tanjirou," the Earl stated simply, the Noah of Pleasure had given his boss- master- lord- whatever, a weird look.

Frowning, Tanjirou turned away, black blade in one hand as the exorcists quickly skipped back- to regroup and formulate their next plan.

... The scent they gave off caught him off guard. It was similar to what drifted faintly off of Allen. That and, it was actually kind of scary. Tanjirou felt like he never caught such a scent before. It was unsettling. Suffocating. Something about it spooked him.

Allen had entered the stage in a fancy white cape and all, so they swiftly grabbed Lenalee and hid away under a bridge- the Noah had all disappeared just as abruptly as they appeared. It left a strange taste at the back of Tanjirou's tongue- but he had priorities.

_Think about it later_, he thought to himself. _Think about it later_.

The Noah's scent was distinct. Each of them smell slightly different from each other- but it was similar to that of an AKUMA's. Not the grief nor the corruption and metal, but rather… What was inside. The thing that held them together.

It was the smell of dark matter, wasn't it.

He scowled.

"I don't like it. I don't like it at all."

Bookman stared at him, back leaned against the rock wall.

"You… You can sniff out the Noah."

Pausing, he nodded curtly. Bookman did not say anything else to him. He only watched closely, an odd look on his face.

* * *

... When General Yeegar was still alive, the elder had taught him many things. During the times when things went sour, the general would prepare him a good meal, Tanjirou accepting it with a fuzzy feeling in his heart. He remembered what the general had taught him. He remembered what the general said to him.

_It will become harder as time goes on, but the world is still spinning. My deepest regret was that I wasn't able to save my students, that day. But watching children half my age losing their lives before me? Painful. Very._

_Tanjirou, live. Live to protect those weaker than you, live to watch them turn stronger than you. Live, so that one day, you will truly know what you want to do._

That was before the general left for another travel, cubes of Innocence in his hands as he searched for potential exorcists.

_Yet he still died. _

"He was a good friend, someone to respect," General Tiedoll said quietly, gazing softly at the new general. Tanjirou nodded. Yu was facing away from him, as always. It had been a few months since he last saw him.

There were more people, some who Tanjirou did not recognize. So naturally, he greeted them, a bright smile on his lips as they returned the gesture, a tad bit solemn. They looked really tired- smelled so exhausted and sad- some of them weren't even exorcists.

The smell of ocean, death, woe, and determination lingered on them. His gaze softened.

_They all worked so hard. _

Tanjirou closed his eyes shut. He let the whispers from his comrades calm him, reminding him that his friends were still alive _and things were going to be fine_. He later found himself gripping the hilt of his sword tightly- his eyes lying on the guard of the sword.

_Protect them._

Eyes opened, he watched as Allen shed a tear and Lenalee spoke soft, quiet words, her hand gently placed on his cheek.

_As a general, protect them._

Eyes opened, he watched as the team- Marian Unit and Tiedoll Unit stuck together. Planning, formulating. _Waiting_.

Lenalee's hair.

It was short.

Walking up to her, he knelt down beside the girl. Purple eyes glimpsing at the sight of gold, Lenalee's lower lip trembled.

_As a pillar..._

Her hands were so cold. Tanjirou held his breath.

"Lenalee. I'm _so, so _proud of you," he said gently, a hand on the top of her head. His eyes nearly watered as well, but he held back- it was time to be strong. Like a pillar of support for these children. Show them that it would be alright, that there was hope. _Support them_.

She worked so hard. They all worked so hard.

"I've missed you so much, Tanjirou," Lenalee sobbed, voice small and crumbling.

Tanjirou hugged her, and soon enough, he let go. Standing guard, he gazed outside, the stars twinkling lightly and the world still spinning. Time never waits for anyone, after all. The night was still long.

* * *

He knew that the general was with them. As the children suddenly vanished, Tanjirou's hand too far to catch them, the smell of Cross Marian vanished as well. He knew the smell of expensive alcohol from anywhere- Marian had a rather distinct scent. They were still alive- it was just that they were somewhere else. Marian was just doing his magic of hiding his presence, except even his magic couldn't escape Tanjirou's keen sense of smell- Innocence or not.

The general still felt this crushing pressure in his chest, however.

_He could've reached them. He could've got to them! He noticed it- that familiar whiff of danger-_

But he didn't.

The crushing reality caught up to him, and Tanjirou held back a yell.

_Body shattering into pieces, she was covered in black stars. The girl died, leaving only an old, wooden box-_

_Thank you, she said. But he wasn't worth it, her saying that._

Breathing sharply, he tried to catch their smell- if they were still alive, no matter how faint it was, he would be able to find them. As long he could get a single _trace_, his heart would surely be reassured, just a little bit.

That trace led everyone to look outside, watching in awe and fear as the sky was torn apart, piece by piece.

An Ark, chained in the sky. Where did the chains lead to? Tanjirou wasn't sure.

It was so bright.

Tanjirou stared ahead, eyes wide and all thoughts ceased.

_It was so bright_.

Behind his back, he could smell the scent of thousands of AKUMA slowly making their way to the horizon. He was sure that everyone else could feel it- Marie's sense of hearing was really good, after all, not to mention the intuition of General Tiedoll. The intuition of all these fighters.

"... It's shattering," Miranda whispered, Time Record held close to her chest. "I can still feel their time, they're _alive_."

Bookman was murmuring something, and Tanjirou wasn't sure what he was saying. It was a totally different language, one even weirder than English.

Taking in the sight of the Ark, the general held his breath, drawing out his sword.

"... I don't suppose there's a need to count how many AKUMAs there are, yes?"

"... For reference," Tiedoll started, "how many?"

Tanjirou gave him a tired, weak smile.

"One million, nine hundred eighty-seven thousand, six hundred and two. It's still growing. _Rapidly._"

They would do fine, though. It was just a bit more than usual, and to being with- they had two generals. It was going to be fine, Tanjirou knew it. Lenalee and others had it harder, they were stuck in who knows where.

_Forth form_.

Falling into stance, the black blade glinted under the Ark's light.

_Striking tide._

* * *

Little Lenalee had held his hand. That day, it was quiet, and Komui- the new advisor- had rushed up to them in haste. There was a stench of disbelief and despair.

Upon seeing Tanjirou, Komui's knees seemed to go weak.

"... So it happened… This quickly…"

Blinking slowly, Tanjirou tilted his head. There was an unbelievable grief coming from the two, the grief so unbearable that it was suffocating. Frowning, Tanjirou knew that he didn't like it- they were supposed to be more… More...

He wondered how he knew that the man with the glasses was the new advisor, though. He never met him, after all.

That was six years ago, and Tanjirou felt his heart break a little. They named him a member of the Lee family, Tanjirou taking it with pride.

The fight was still on, and everyone was working so hard.

But the shattering Ark was almost gone- _they were dying._

_Lenalee._

As the last of the light slowly disappeared, dissipated, something in Tanjirou snapped.

It was despair.

... Was this how Lenalee and Komui felt that day, six years ago? When he was bandaged up, head to toe, with no memory of the day before?

"They're gone, they're all gone," Miranda whispered, her voice cracking with a frantic sense of fear and disbelief. Denial.

General Tiedoll had shadows over his eyes, and everyone was silent. Tanjirou could hear his own blood coursing through his veins- his heart beating rapidly.

"That… Can't be," Marie whispered, voice hushed and weak. A hand was over his headphones, Tanjirou wondered if he could still hear something.

Tanjirou couldn't find their scent- his senses were covered by overwhelming emotions.

_I have a question. If the ship disappeared when there's people on it, what would happen to…?_

… _Isn't it obvious?_

Amber, cool eyes. A distant sunrise.

_They die, Tanjirou._

No, no, they weren't dead. He was praying, he realized. Praying for their lives, praying that they live and survive. Miranda was trembling, she was shaking her head-

"They aren't dead," he breathed. Blood vessels were bulging and his forehead was running hot, boiling- a fever. He ought to go to the Head Nurse later.

That was right, once this was over, everyone had to go to the medical wing. _Everyone_.

No matter what.

"They aren't," Bookman agreed, and they all looked up.

Snow.

Beautiful, little snowflakes.

Star light.

Tanjirou's eyes had widened a little, taken aback by this breathtaking view.

… It was beautiful.

Beautiful, and nostalgic.

A gate opened, and a certain white haired exorcist emerged from the light, followed by many others-

"Hey! We're back!"

Tanjirou dashed forward, nearly tripping over himself.

(His little sister was beaming, pink eyes glittering and _under the sun_.)

He whispered quiet Japanese.

"_Thank the gods…!_"

* * *

Aoi sighed, dragging dirty laundry with her as Inosuke cackled loudly, stomping all over the bed sheets to the girl's dismay. Kanao, standing by the doorway, fidgeted on her feet. _Please stop stomping on the bed sheets_, she wanted to say. _At least take off your shoes._

Zenitsu was still screaming and yelling, something about _I'm going to die today I swear it you don't believe me do you TANJIROU-_ but Nezuko placed a small, quick hand on the very top of his dandelion head. The boy ceased all yelling and stared at her. He started screaming again- Murata covering his ears in distress. Finally snapping, pigtails brushed past-

_Oh you! Quiet down, will you?! You're too noisy for goodness sake!_

He chuckled. The weather was good today, and the Butterfly Estate was as busy as ever. The smell of home.

* * *

**That concludes the Edo Arc of D. Gray! ****Thank you for reading! **

**ko.**


	11. Standing Behind You

**11\. Standing Behind You**

While being a general had its own perks, Tanjirou nearly forgot that it also meant that he had to go to those meetings, as well. The General Meetings. With the higher ups.

… Ah.

If it meant sitting across Director Lvellie for hours and hours _and hours_, Tanjirou wasn't sure how to feel about it.

He would do his best, though.

"Marian Cross, _would _you explain-"

The said general promptly snored, and Tanjirou nearly let out a giggle- holding his breath as the director shot a piercing glare at him.

_Be professional, Tanjirou. Professional._

The meeting was primarily about the recent turn of events. Noahs, the Heart, the Millennium Earl, what-were-you-doing-all-these-years-General-Cross, and by-the-way-we-don't-really-care-about-the-exorcists'-well-being-we-just-want-to-prevail-in-the-war, and Allen-is-suspicious-so-we're-going-to-put-him-in-trial-and-something-along-the-lines-of-the-number-fourteen.

Tanjirou nearly choked at that. The part where Bak stood up in frustration and Komui told him to sit down did kind of hurt, but the part where Allen was to be _tried for heresy_? _The kid he just met only for a few days?_

_Wasn't he only fifteen?! _

"Wait, excuse me- _what_."

Everyone presented at the table stared at him. Bak threw a hand over his face.

"Oh, that's right, Kamado. You were recently promoted as a general," the director said smoothly, eyes narrowed as always. Tanjirou frowned.

... He was looking down on him, wasn't he.

_Be professional, be professional! Calm yourself! You're the eldest son- no wait Komui's the eldest son- but anyway! Tanjirou! Calm down! Don't lose your cool!_

Taking a few steady breaths, he tried attempting to soothe his own nerves. "I… Allen isn't with the Millennium Earl, his loyalty lies entirely with the Black Order."

The director gave off a scent of amusement. "Your proof?"

His calm facade was slowing turning into one of disdain. "I can _tell_, Director." _I have a great sense of smell. So great that I could smell past your stinky socks and smell your deepest darkest secrets._

Tanjirou kept that thought to himself.

Lvellie shrugged. "Well, the question that should be asked is whether you are able to know if one unintentionally turn against the Order, no?"

Tanjirou stared at him, and suddenly, a shivering chill went down his spine.

He was nervous.

Very nervous.

_What on Earth was he implying-_

_Breathe, _a soothing voice cut him off. It was a very calming voice, so gentle and kind. A pink noise.

A reassuring hand was placed on his shoulder, Tanjirou never realized had he tensed up.

_It's okay,_ the voice continued. _Keep going.__ Remember all the important parts. Take your stance._

_It'll be okay._

Tanjirou's hands closed into fists. "But just as we all cannot guarantee if he would turn against the Order, you can't prove he _would _turn against us either. Allen is one of the only exorcists who came to the Order's doorsteps- enthusiastic and willing to fight for the Black Order's cause. If it was all an act, I would be able to tell. If his actions was caused by something else, I would be able to tell. If something were to go awry, I would be able to tell. Allen is on the Order's side."

The scent Lenalee and the others gave around the boy was one of trust and strong friendship. They really cared about Allen, as much as he cared about them.

_He gave off a truly heartbreaking smell, as well._

The boy was sitting by For's gate, head lowered and nearly resigned- but still hanging on.

_Such loyalty, such conviction. Such determination._

Tanjirou could only imagine what the child went through, before coming to the Order.

For that reason, he trusted him.

The director hummed. "Indeed, loyalty is a mysterious thing. So, Kamado. I don't suppose you can detect the scent of the Noah?"

He paused. Komui had quietly glanced at him, a whiff of worry reaching Tanjirou's nose. Gazing at his hands on the table, Tanjirou sighed softly. He looked up.

"I can."

Before Lvellie said another word, Tanjirou continued.

"Allen has the scent of Noah on him. Just like everyone else in this room."

Now that silenced everyone- even their scent was shocked. The Oceanian Branch's branch head was giving him a curious look and Bak gaped at him, jaw dropped. Tanjirou smiled.

The director continued to give him a piercing, waiting gaze- like a snake to its prey- but Tanjirou was no prey.

_He was a general. And a general was supposed to protect the children. The exorcists. The next generation._

"Noahs are humans, too. Everyone has a bit of dark matter in them, no matter how little. Even if someone had slightly more of it than others, it doesn't mean they would become a Noah. It's almost randomized, I'm sure of it."

He was pretty sure someone had told him that, Tanjirou just couldn't remember who.

_Well, whoever told me that pretty much saved Allen, right?_

General Cross suddenly burst out laughing, slamming his hand onto the table continuously.

"Good one, kid. Good one."

The meeting was adjourned. Supervised, Allen Walker was not to make any contact with General Cross. They left it with that.

_Could be worse, _Tanjirou pondered to himself. _It could be worse._

* * *

... But it was true. Allen did stunk of Noah- a misplaced smell lingering on the younger teen. Tanjirou never realized until he met the Noah Clan, engraving their distinct scent to his memory.

He might had outright lied, now that he thought about it, but for some reason, Tanjirou felt that it would be wrong if the Order were to seek out the Noah candidates, even before they fully transformed.

Everyone was eating at the cafeteria. There was this new inspector guy- a CROW, Tanjirou recognized the muffled scent- hanging around Allen. At least the CROW didn't seem that much of a bad guy, Tanjirou could tell.

The pie was really good, after all.

"So Tanjirou was in the Order as long as Lenalee?" Allen said between bites, chomping down another bowl of freshly cooked meat.

"Mm, I think so," Tanjirou stated simply, enjoying his rice ball. It was delicious, did Jeryy experiment with some new fillings? It was really good! "I don't remember much about it, but Lenalee and I were partners, I believe."

Lavi nodded slowly, prodding his steak with his fork. "Yeah, you were."

Allen blinked, wiping his mouth with a napkin.

"Huh."

Howard eyed them carefully, placing another pie onto the table as Allen devoured it. Tanjirou smiled smoothly.

"But it's amazing- I knew that parasitic types needed a lot of food, but I never knew that you could eat this much! You're going to grow up very strong, Allen! Eat more!"

Allen laughed shyly at that as he inhaled another bowl of ramen. "It's nothing, really!"

Lavi stared at him dryly.

"But I was meaning to ask," gulping down his drink, Allen wiped his mouth again. "Your sense of smell… I was told that it's very strong, or something."

Tanjirou blinked.

"Ah, yes. It is strong," he smiled, finishing up his meal. "Your eye… It can see the souls of the AKUMA, right?"

"... Yeah, I can," Allen nodded, stuffing his face with some more pie. "It's like… A detector. I got cursed."

Tanjirou hummed.

"Cursed, huh. If I may ask, how does the soul look like?"

At the side, Lavi had choked on his drink, coughed abruptly as Allen quickly patted his back. With his left hand. Lavi coughed some more.

"Well, it's kind of hard to explain," the white haired teen said, scratching his head. "They're usually chained to the AKUMA's shell, though."

"Can you also hear their voices?"

Pausing, Allen nodded.

"Yes."

Shifting in his seat, Tanjirou let go of a breath. "That's a lot of burden, then. On your shoulders. I can only smell their scent, and then their emotions… How do they look like, when they're freed?"

Staring at him, Allen fumbled a bit with some words, a frown on his face. Then, he looked up.

Tanjirou recognized the look on his face.

"... Well, for one... They're freed."

Tanjirou smiled softly.

"I see."

Standing up, the burgundy haired exorcist stretched his arms, yawning. "Well, I'll go first. Got to do some check ups and stuff like that. You three have fun, now!"

As he walked away, he distantly heard their continued conversation.

"You know, Allen? Tanjirou's around the same age as Reever, probably older."

Allen sputtered, spitting out his drink.

"That is true," Howard added. Allen stared at him blankly.

* * *

The Central Official Battle Corps- CROW. Tanjirou had mixed feelings about them.

Even though they _were _the official battle corps of the Central, they always gave Tanjirou… This weird feeling. Their scent would be muffled, and they were always quiet. It was as if they don't have a will of their own- or they pretend that they don't.

That, and Tanjirou noticed how Lenalee would tense up every time they pass by, how her hands instinctively balled into fists. Komui was always unnerved around them, and Yu outright _hated _them.

For that reason, Tanjirou didn't really like the CROW- but it wasn't like they hurt him directly, so he wasn't sure if this dislike was justified. It was really weird.

But Howard was okay- he smelled of strong loyalty and decision. He failed to waver, making him strong in his beliefs. It was a pure type of trust- the type of person you can trust. Though of course, it didn't meant that Tanjirou would just put all his trust on the CROW fellow- Tanjirou knew better.

Trust was a curious thing. Loyalty as well.

Watching Allen eat like that made him think of the moment when Lvellie was going to put him on trial- the teen could've been in prison, already. Shivering at that thought, Tanjirou sighed, standing in front of his room.

The sword tucked by his side was heavy. It gave him an inky feeling, and the world still continued to spin.

… Tanjirou left the cafeteria because he could smell it. That scent… It was really strong.

The scent of distrust. The scent of doubt.

The stench of fear.

_Allen Walker could be a tool for the Noah._

A rift.

But when Tanjirou saw the look on the boy's face when he told him about the AKUMAs, for a moment, Tanjirou nearly faltered.

... It was truly heart wrenching. Heart wrenching, yet at the same time, the general couldn't help but be so proud.

Such a brave child.

Sighing, he turned around. The joints in his body was aching, he should go check with the Head Nurse later-

A heartbreaking smell reached him.

"... Oh no."

* * *

"ENEMY ATTACK ALERT! TO ALL EXORCISTS AND ALL MEMBERS STATIONED AT HEADQUARTERS! AKUMA HAVE INVADED THE FIFTH LABORATORY!"

Warning sirens sounded, and fear and shock took root.

_The AKUMAs are here. They're here. The enemy is here!_

Allen was lying against the wall. Blood. The stench of iron- it was so heavy. For Tanjirou, wouldn't it be even stronger for him? Struggling to stand up, the world became shaky under his feet, and there was an AKUMA right in front of him, an eerie smile on its lips.

"GENERALS AND OTHER EXORCISTS SHOULD PROCEED URGENTLY TO THE THIRD GATE OF THE ARK!"

"ENEMY ATTACK ALERT!"

Shooting his claw forward, Edge End dug deep into the AKUMA's shell, and the AKUMA screeched loudly, cannons pointed to his face-

"Watch it, boy!" Needles stabbed through the AKUMA as Bookman leaped ahead, the old man was fighting carefully- there were too many casualties.

"Stop it!" He yelled desperately. There was sand in his eyes, he grimaced. The scientists, they were turning into… He didn't know, those skeleton people- they got to _stop_!

Those were their friends! Their family!

Stop it!

Something whacked Allen over the head, they were dragging him down to the Earl's Ark with them.

_No._

Johnny reached out, screaming out his name, Allen's name.

The remaining scientists, they were desperate, _yelling._

Allen woke up.

… The generals were here. They came. Miranda turned back time, they still had time_. Time was on their side._

"Pretty nice ride, that Ark of your's, kid… Now then. Let's hear how you'd like to die, AKUMA."

* * *

_Maker of Eden, Embracing Garden._

_Torment. "Madness."_

_Lau Shimin._

_Judgement. _

The generals were strong. They were on another level, an entirely different plane- Allen watched with wide eyes. Holding his breath, he watched as they mowed down the AKUMAs.

It was…

"Incredible," Miranda murmured, Time Record still activated. Allen nodded. He agreed.

"Calling HQ, this is Noise Marie… Calling from laboratory five. All AKUMA activity has been neutralized."

The AKUMA poison was still strong- it was in the air. If they weren't careful enough, people might die from the gas. As everyone gathered together- no time to mourn or feel sad- Allen frowned.

His eye… It was still detecting something. Weak, but still there- it was honestly kind of worrying.

"The scientists… They're still my men. They might still be here… I'll have to get to them," Reever huffed, covering his nose and mouth. Everyone was tired, Allen could tell.

There was really no time to mourn.

When Miranda was caught by the Noah of Lust, the Noah in the form of water, the generals prepared to throw in the finishing blow- they were in a pinch. There was no time to spare, and Allen _leaped._

The AKUMA egg was destroyed. It was over.

Carrying Miranda, the teen shot a glare at his master. Cross shrugged in response, a smug look left on his lips.

It should be over by now, right?

But AKUMAs were living weapons.

It was never over.

* * *

Mana had taught him how to breathe. It was a winter day, cloudy and everything. It was also real cold, so the clown laughed as Allen pouted, arms crossed over his chest.

"Why the 'ell should I learn? Ain't it just breathing?"

Mana hummed, cheeks flushed from the cold as he gazed up, watching the snow flakes slowly drift down from the skies.

"Well, you never know when you need it the most, Allen! A friend told me that before, a long, long, _long _time ago!"

The boy shot him a doubtful glance, unconvinced by the older man's ramblings.

"Uh huh… Then who taught you?"

Mana paused at that. It was a very quick pause, his eyes lingering ahead- Allen wondered what he was staring at.

"Eh~ I don't really remember, it was so long!"

Allen breathed.

It hurt a lot, trying to get oxygen to his lungs, his blood, his muscles. It _hurt_.

_It could've hurt more, you know. If it weren't for Mana._

Last time Allen used it, he was back at Martel- Kanda had given him a weird look, but since they both decided that they don't like each other, neither of them said a word about it.

Squeezing his eyes shut, Allen shuddered. It was cold. Burning. Aching.

A level four.

_A level four_.

The truth was there in front of him. _A level four was born._

Allen's body spasmed abruptly, a loud cough came up his throat. Timcanpy was flying frantically by his side, startled and _panicked __and_-

_A level… Four._

So quickly, all hope vanished from sight. Fear took root.

_Fight. Stand up._

_Stand up, Allen. Stand up and keep walking…!_

A tear slipped down his face, and suddenly, Allen felt a pressure on the center of his forehead.

Opening his eyes wearily, silver was meet with red, and Allen saw Tanjirou.

"Ah… So you know the Full Concentration Breathing. That is good."

Tanjirou was clad in uniform, his index finger pressed against Allen's forehead. There was a smile on his lips, and Allen started, his breathing rasped.

Tanjirou made a low hum. "Your injured everywhere, but your blood vessels… I see. It's very fortunate that you know the breathing, even though you perhaps still can't do it all the time. If you didn't know how to breathe, things would be more difficult," bending down slightly, he pressed harder on Allen's forehead.

"Focus some more. Raise the accuracy of your breaths. Keep going like that… Spread the sensitivity to every part of your body."

Allen inhaled, exhaled, and inhaled again.

"Focus."

His voice… Was familiar, actually.

He breathed again.

Tanjirou smiled, beaming at him.

"There you go."

Standing up straight, Tanjirou looked to the side- a battle was raging. Allen could tell that many lives were already lost. _Even more than before_.

How long was he down? A few seconds, a few minutes?

_How many people died, when I was down, out cold?_

"Can you activate Crown Clown? Do you best and keep your breathing steady. If you keep going on like that, your body will be fine for another few minutes. You're reaching your limit… But I suppose you already know that."

Sword already drawn, Allen gazed at the blackened blade, a single character etched on its surface.

… Was that Chinese? Japanese? Allen wasn't sure.

"Innocence, activate," Tanjirou spoke softly, the blade glinting under fake light. Leaping down the edge, Allen realized that this was his first time actually watching Tanjirou fight. Edo happened too quickly.

Sword swinging, the level four looked back- away from Lenalee, away from Helveska.

"_Water breathing._"

The AKUMA raised his hand, dark energy gathering in its palm-

Tanjirou sliced through it.

_Tenth form._

Water. There was water.

Spinning on a foot, a dragon formed. Allen's eyes widened.

_The dragon of change._

* * *

He was already a critical before he knew it. Waking up one day with Lenalee holding his hand, he was immediately taken to Helveska. They said his synchronization rate was the same as before- that it was good that it was the same.

Above the hundreds, above two hundred.

Tanjirou was careful as he fought. Each step meant life or death, and each strike was a decision to make.

_No wasted movements._

He fought based on intuition.

_There was no space to fail_.

More than a thousand, more than ten thousand. Perhaps even a hundred thousand. Along with a tang of heavy despair, that was what made up the level four. It was the first time Tanjirou smelt such a disgusting, depressing scent.

Happiness always ended with the scent of blood, after all.

The AKUMA was laughing, screaming, screeching. It was laughing about finally getting a fun opponent, a _fun fight_.

Tanjirou's eyes narrowed. He felt something prodding his senses, an emotion he recognized as rage. Rage, such a poisonous yet driving emotion.

He could count exactly the number of people who died behind him.

He really could.

_How dare you_, he wanted to say.

_How dare you come in and destroy everything. How dare you come in and kill everyone._

_How dare you_.

Raising his sword, he exhaled.

The AKUMA was suddenly behind him, he turned around and _struck down_. The AKUMA blocked it, throwing in an orb of inky blackness. Tanjirou dodged, ducking as he kicked. The AKUMA was suddenly in the air, and Tanjirou inhaled.

_Insect breath…!_

The AKUMA abruptly appeared in front of him, kicking him square in the stomach. Something went up his throat, and Tanjirou choked, feet barely keeping him rooted to the ground. Spinning on a foot, he whacked the AKUMA over his head- _dodge left_, he dodged. _Upper arm. Left side of the torso. _

_Dodge. _He dodged again, legs bending as he stared up to the skies, a beam of dark energy grazing the tip of his hair.

Sucking in a breath, he rose back up- _elbow, dodge. The tips of its fingers-_

"Kamado Tanjirou~" The AKUMA suddenly said sickly, laughing at him. "You're Kamado Tanjirou~"

Narrowing his eyes, Tanjirou fell into stance, his knees buckling underneath his own weight. Tanjirou could taste iron.

_Hold on._

_Keep holding on!_

_Get time for them. Get time for the others!_

... He had always known AKUMAs as a pitiful creature. Pitiful and sad- their impulse to kill engraved into their very soul. It was upsetting, thinking about it.

The moment he wanted to blame the AKUMAs for what was to come, he felt guilt. It wasn't like they had a choice- they just do what they were programmed to do.

Even demons had a choice.

The moment his sword touched the surface of the AKUMA's skin, flickers of light sparked as the blade slid across its arm. The AKUMA shot a hand forward, grazing through Tanjirou's left ear. The general sucked in another breath, pushing forward as he swung the sword once again.

Strong.

The AKUMA was very strong.

Stronger than ever, it knew what to do.

_Amazing._

_Amazing and scary._

_Tanjirou, Tanjirou. it's fine now. Look. _A voice- so gentle and sweet, flickered like poison and honey. Her voice, Tanjirou had heard it before- that tinge of anger- it was so familiar. So familiar, yet he just couldn't place his finger on it.

So frustrating.

Tanjirou sniffled.

_Look, Tanjirou._

She was standing behind him, her back against his. A gentle smile resting on her lips, the Insect Pillar pointed ahead.

_Look_.

That was when he caught it.

The fragrance of blood.

The smell of Innocence.

The fragrance of grief.

The smell of conviction and determination.

Resignation.

_Lenalee_, he wanted to say, his back facing the girl._ No matter your decision, I am proud of you._

_I really am._

"I'm off now, brother...!"

Shackles breaking, Lenalee soared up into the air. It was as if she was a butterfly, her shoes glittering red, shimmering under the faint light.

Tanjirou might have shed another tear, that day.

The grief and resignation coming from the girl was so unbearable. Heartbreaking.

She looked just like them.

They were standing behind him, again. And as usual, he couldn't look back. His body wouldn't move, locked in place- Lenalee's form in the skies was so mesmerizing, you would forget about everything around you.

There was a row of people standing behind him, their backs facing him, as his back faced them.

_Tanjirou._

_Big brother._

Taking in another breath, he watched as the AKUMA fallen. Allen was screaming, Lenalee was yelling.

Marian sneezed.

The AKUMA was destroyed. Freed.

The smell of relief came crashing into him like a tsunami wave- and Tanjirou smiled. He was a bit wobbly on his feet- strange. His endurance and healing capabilities were a tad bit better than other people, but lately, it seemed like it was failing on him.

_An omen? _He wondered, keeping his breath even. _It wasn't this bad before. The AKUMA was insanely strong._

... Everyone was so drained.

The Black Order survived. Just barely, but they survived. Closing his eyes, Tanjirou let his shoulders relax.

A lot of people died, again.

Crowds of people, rushing about. The smell of medicine, the smell of woe. Very soon, bodies would be in coffins, heavy and cold.

He stood by Lenalee's side. She took his hand.

"I... I'm an exorcist," she choked out. Tanjirou nodded.

It was quiet.

"I always thought about it, if everything was just a scary dream. Have you... Have you had these thoughts, as well?

"It's stressing. It really is. So many people died. Your teacher died, Suman died, Tup died, so many people died! Allen almost died! He was alone and he almost died! My brother, I imprisoned my brother here! My brother, who came for me... Who threw away everything just for me. And now, Tanjirou? I'm an exorcist. I'm really an exorcist- I can't escape from it anymore. It's what I am, now. It's not a dream. It was never a dream.

"I'm an exorcist."

He held her hand tighter.

Lenalee lowered her head.

"... I had a little sister."

She nodded, her eyes squeezed shut.

"Yeah."

He always wondered.

What was her name? How did she look like? What kind of person was she?

... Was Tanjirou a good older brother to her?

Tanjirou smiled sadly, watching with distant eyes as people mourn for their dead loved ones, the ones who died-

He had a little sister, and that was all he ever remembered.

* * *

_**Note:**_

1) Of the first three things I thought up of when I initially began this fic, two of them are Tanjirou saying wise words to Allen in chapter 9, along with Tanjirou copying Rengoku as he poke Allen's forehead in this chapter, which is both basically copying Rengoku. There is still one more scene, it will appear later.

**Chapters 9 to 11 are all written around the same time, so it will probably take some time before the next chapter comes out. That being said, thank you for reading! Please have a nice day, I hope you enjoyed this chapter!**

**Edit: mass edits all the chapters because I just realized I've been spelling breathe wrong this entire time www-**

**ko.**


	12. Waxing Moon

**12\. Waxing Moon**

Sometimes, breathing was unbearable.

It would happen very suddenly, whacking him over the head and- he just couldn't breath. His lungs would hurt, his hands would be shaking, but he would still try to suck in a breath.

Horrible. It felt horrible.

_Breathe, _he would try to convince himself.

_It's hard. You know. You know that for a fact, so breathe. _

There was rubble.

Rubble scattered everywhere, and many things were left unsalvageable. The Black Order's European Branch had nearly fell, but at the end of the day, they were brave enough to say that they won that night's battle.

The exorcists held on. The staff held on. Everyone held on, and they survived.

Not everyone, but they did their best.

That was what mattered the most.

The first level four had been born, an epitome of evil and despair itself, and they defeated it. Tanjirou couldn't help the excited and anxious feeling building up in his chest.

Battles would only become harder from now on, but Tanjirou believed that it was going to be alright.

_Train_, was his first thought. _Maybe I should try teaching the full concentration breath._

_If everyone, not only the exorcists and fighters, were to know of the breath… _

He ought to go discuss it with Komui, later.

* * *

"DAMN YOU, KANDA!"

"YOU SHUT YOUR TRAP, _MOYASHI!_"

Bamboo snapping, the _shinai _Allen wield fell apart, splinters poking out from all directions. Tanjirou had winced at that- the sound was never pleasant. Yu and Allen was sparring, bamboo swords clashing as everyone else sat at the side, watching like good audiences they were.

"Why do you keep calling me that- and yes, for your information, I _do _know a bit of Japanese, you _BaKa_nda! I'm _Allen_! Get that right already!"

"Who cares what you're called. You're just a bean sprout."

"YOU-"

As the two continued to throw insults at each other, Tanjirou let out an amused laugh, absentmindedly scratching the back of his right hand. It was endearing, watching them like this.

"Allen now uses the sword, huh! Last time I remembered, you used a claw or something,"

Allen blinked, wiping away sweat with a towel. "Ah, yes. I figured I should practice using it, since Crown Clown also take the form of a sword…"

Tanjirou smiled. "It's important to have a foundation when it comes to sword fighting. Do you want to try sparring with me?"

Lavi suddenly choked, and Yu froze in place. There was silence- only the newer exorcists looked around in confusion.

Allen blinked slowly, and then he nodded. "Sure…?"

At the back, Lavi was shaking his head frantically, a look of desperation and fear on his face.

Allen looked at him in confusion.

"Great! Let me go get my _bokken_, then!" Tanjirou said, a bright smile on his lips. How could Allen say no to something like that? He just couldn't get Lavi.

* * *

They stood across from each other, standing awkwardly. While Allen was holding a (new) _shinai, _Tanjirou was wielding his _bokken_. Allen was nearly unnerved by the edge of the wooden blade.

"Uh," Tanjirou started. "So we… Start?"

Allen shrugged. He realized that the general was staring at his feet, Allen frowned.

"Um, is there something wrong…?"

Tanjirou quickly shook his head. "No, well… I mean, your stance is a bit…"

Allen blinked. "My stance?"

Tanjirou nodded slowly. "I didn't really notice when you were sparring with Yu, but… It seems a bit… Like," he nudged one of Allen's legs slightly with his _bokken_, "there you go. Much better."

Allen blinked.

Tanjirou blinked.

Once again, they presumed their stances.

As the two breathed in, they start-

-And Allen found himself on the ground, staring at the ceiling.

"... Huh?"

Slowly sitting up, Allen looked up to Tanjirou, whose back was facing him. It was silent, even their small audience was dead quiet. Lavi had shrank down onto himself, murmuring something under his breath. Prayers, maybe. Even Kanda was strangely quiet.

Their spar had just begun, and Allen's back was on the ground.

… _His back was on the ground._

Tanjirou slowly turned his head, gazing down at the younger exorcist.

Allen did not like the dark look in his eyes, nor how the edge of his wooden blade spoke with intimidation.

(The wooden blade should be blunt… Right?)

"Weak," Tanjirou spat.

Allen stared at him.

"Wh-"

"Weak. Pathetic. If you're a man, stand up already."

… _What just happened._

He gulped. "Uh, Tanjirou-?"

Tanjirou snarled- and _when does Tanjirou snarl_. "I said, _get your butt right off the ground this instance!_"

Allen quickly got back to his feet, only to be knocked down again. At the corner of his sight, he could see Lavi flinching at the impact.

"Get up!" Tanjirou barked.

Allen yelped. "Y-yes sir!"

"Keep your hold on your sword firm! That flimsy grip of yours is _horrendous_!"

"Y-yes!"

"What's with that pathetic voice! If you're a man, you got to do better than that! Don't you have lungs? _Use them_!"

"Yes!"

Leaping forward, Allen only blinked when Tanjirou landed at the ground, meters behind him. Gazing down, he found his _shinai _swiftly sliced in half, the bamboo hitting the ground.

A chill went up his spine.

"In the real world," voice lowered, Tanjirou spoke dangerously, "once your blade snaps, your bones snap as well."

… Allen was pretty sure that was not how the real world worked.

* * *

"He might've had unfair expectations, since you know the Full Concentration Breath and all."

"... Gee, thanks a lot, Lavi."

"Just saying! I _did _warn you, you know!"

Distantly, Allen could hear Tanjirou talking to Kanda. He was trying very hard to spar with him, and Kanda wouldn't budge at all.

"Come on, we haven't trained together for so long!"

Allen squinted. "How long exactly?"

Lavi shrugged. "Give or take… Six years."

"No," Kanda said again. He was oddly stiff, trying to get away as Tanjirou hung on.

The burgundy haired general pouted, eyebrows furrowed as he tugged harder. "Let's just spar, Giyuu! I want to see how much stronger you've become!"

"Ju… Just stop."

… _Whoa._

Allen never saw Kanda this agitated.

It was _amazing_.

"To begin with," Lavi suddenly called out, waving at Tanjirou. "Shouldn't you be using a _shinai _as well? It'll make more sense that way."

Glancing at his _bokken_, Tanjirou blinked. "Huh… You're right." He looked up to Allen. "Sorry about that!"

Waving that it was okay, Allen leaned back, lying against the stone slabs that made up the staircase. Some of his injuries must had reopened, it kind of hurt. No wonder Tanjirou suddenly stopped wiping the ground with him abruptly- he probably noticed it.

Tanjirou in sparring mode was scary.

"He just doesn't know how to hold back," Lavi explained. Allen blinked.

"Each battle for him is life and death, so I guess… He's just unable to hold back. That, and he's a horrible teacher. You probably got that by now, right?" He grinned. Allen laughed weakly.

"Yeah, kind of."

Lavi nodded along, gazing ahead.

"... You know. As you two were… Uh, _sparring_," Allen winced at that, "he's been using Water Breathing forms."

"Water Breathing?" Allen parroted after, glancing at the bookman.

"It's his sword style. Yu's been using it all the time as well, if you haven't realized. Aside from Gramps, me, Yu, and Tanjirou, I don't think anyone else knows about it. Watching him beat you up like that, maybe Tanjirou just wants to pass down the technique to somebody, so that the art wouldn't get lost. Unfortunately, there aren't a whole lot of swordsmen in the Black Order. So when you appeared, he probably got all excited after finding out that you use the sword. It means a lot to him."

Allen stared at him for a moment, later turning away, humming. "Well, compared to my master and everything, it's not _that _bad, I think. But I guess it's really important to him, if it's what you say."

Lavi nodded. "He learned it from his master, after all. Since he's so bad at explaining things, he probably just unconsciously copied the one who taught him in the first place."

"Master?" Allen blinked. "You mean General Yeegar?"

Lavi jumped in surprise, his visible eye staring at Allen widely. Fumbling with some words, he scratched the back of his head awkwardly. "Ah, well. No, but uh… How to say… Uh, you know how Tanjirou's from Japan?"

Allen nodded. He had heard something about that- Tanjirou mentioned it back in the Asian Branch, when he was talking with Bak…

_Hm?_

_But Japan's the Earl's territory?_

"You can pretty much say that he's his people's legacy, and it's all what was left of them," squinting, Lavi turned to Allen. "Let's just keep it like that, alright? It's uh, personal. I guess. Gramps' going to kill me. I know it."

"Ah, okay."

He eyed the bookman carefully.

… _He definitely knows something. But he's keeping it a secret._

Sighing, Allen looked away.

Tanjirou was still pulling on Kanda's arm, the latter trying to push him away but to no avail.

"That being said, is 'Giyuu' a nickname for Kanda?"

Lavi paused, pondering for a moment.

"... Nah, it's just a slip of his tongue."

* * *

Somehow, it ended up with some sort of crazy zombie apocalypse. Tanjirou wondered if the Black Order would end itself first before the Millenium Earl.

Yu and Lavi were shrunk down, their tiny bodies running around as zombie-Marie chased after them, zombie-Miranda lurking behind, along with zombie-Head Nurse baring her teeth as she stooped ahead.

"Please," everyone screamed. "Head Nurse! Don't kill us!"

Breathing in, Tanjirou flinched. There was a certain scent the Head Nurse and other zombie-friends were giving off- it must be that, right?!

The Head Nurse chomped down Allen's arm. Everyone stared at him.

"Use the breath!" Tanjirou screamed frantically. "Slow down the virus!"

Allen breathed rapidly.

As the team run, trying to avoid any unnecessary danger, they realized what the source of this problem was. Howard had this look of solid disappointment, readying his notes to deliver to Central.

_Komui_.

Lavi grimaced.

"Of course."

While the scientists create… Innovative, creative, and whatever, Komui, on the other hand, produce pure destruction. Think about all the Komurins that lurked within the staff's nightmares.

_Komui_.

"But this brings back a lot," Tanjirou laughed, leaning his back against the wall. Everyone was drenched in sweat, exhausted from running around the stories tall headquarters. "Seeing Yu like this is so nostalgic! You and Lenalee were so small, we always meditated together!"

Allen was giving Yu a curious stare. Yu was giving Tanjirou an exasperated glare.

"_Don't go off reminiscing now._"

He nodded carefully. "Right."

They were nervous. All of them. Nervous about the AKUMAs, the war, their comrades- and then there was Allen. As a general, Tanjirou was accessed to information that others would normally not be able to know.

Suspicion weighed on Allen, and Allen was giving off a scent of doubt and fear.

He was scared, scared of himself, and everything to come in the near future. Tanjirou could tell that he was trying very hard to think otherwise, but the thoughts probably kept coming back.

Ever since the headquarters was attacked, everyone was weary. Weary and tired- Tup died, so many people died... But Tanjirou could still find their scent lingering in the labs. The entire European Branch.

It wasn't like the dead just disappeared, vanishing into nothingness. Their spirits still lingered from where they held their heart the closest.

Once they leave this place, would he still be able to find their presence? Their spirits?

There was a ghost.

She didn't want them to leave. She didn't want them to, so she forced Krory to drink the virus and spread it, all in order to force everyone to stay in the headquarters. _Forever_.

She gave off no smell, and Tanjirou felt rather put off.

It was like- he could connect with her, actually. The ghost. He wanted to reach out and hold her hand, and he suddenly remembered the girl who died, the music box left in his hands. Tanjirou could really connect with her. It was strange. The ghost looked so sad. Tanjirou could feel his chest tighten, and-

Sometimes, breathing was unbearable.

Each breath made his heart ache, and he wondered why he still bothered. His lungs would hurt, his hands would be shaking, but he would still try to suck in a breath.

Wouldn't it be much easier stop?

And then, so abruptly, Komui listed out names.

Every name.

From the archives, the dust-piling files, to _every one of them-_

Like the ghost, Tanjirou found himself widening his eyes.

"So it's alright, you know. You don't have to haunt us, for us to remember you. You… You're one of them, right? Or are you all of them, together?"

A lot of people died.

From AKUMAs, from the Black Order's own hands. Experimentation.

The ghost cried. Tanjirou's gaze softened, using the full concentration breathing to slow down the Komuvitan-D running in his veins.

Komui, he was amazing. Just like Lenalee, he was amazing. Tanjirou was happy that they accepted him into their family.

That night, the Black Order was nearly destroyed.

Bak saved them.

* * *

It was cold outside. Dark, because the sun was absent from the skies. The lights radiating from the new headquarters still lit up the world around him, and the stars were bright. He could see well, so it wasn't a problem.

Standing afar, far enough from the order, Tanjirou stood still. The new red and black uniform… It was specially designed by Johnny. Johnny had worked really hard, as these clothes, to the exorcists, was first line of defense. He really worked so hard... Ever since Suman, ever since Tup.

Closing his eyes, he smiled to himself.

Tanjirou had a family.

Lenalee was his little sister, and Yu, his younger brother. Lavi was the neighborhood brother, and Komui was the eldest son. General Tiedoll was the unofficial official father, and Yeegar used to be the grandfather- Bookman was the grouchy elder. Then there was Allen, the lost kid who wandered around the streets, Tanjirou was still deciding whether or not to adopt him. Bak was the cousin- For, their guardian spirit. Zuu Mei Chang was the caring, funny old man.

Tanjirou remembered when they were still kids. Lenalee and Yu. He remembered how Reever, dark bags under his eyes and all, would chat with him over basically anything. They were all good friends. Great friends. His first meeting with Reever always left a weird impression on him, though. He had looked so shocked.

The night sky was beautiful. Beautiful and dangerous.

Their newest addition, Timothy, became their youngest brother. He was really an adorable kid- Tanjirou was touched when Emilia embraced the boy with a big hug, the boy hugging back just as equally hard. The world was still moving, and he felt comfort and reassurance from that.

Tanjirou opened his eyes.

"Good evening, Kamado Tanjirou… The once famed Fire Pillar."

Looking back, his eyes met the other's. There was the Earl, standing there and unmoving, his grin wide as ever. The full moon loomed over the two, stretching their shadows across Earth's plane.

The cool silence was suffocating.

"The Millennium Earl," Tanjirou said, his hand instinctively inching towards the hilt of his sword.

It was only the two of them. Far enough from the Black Order, far enough for danger.

_Far enough_, Tanjirou thought to himself, _to keep the danger away._

The Earl grinned.

* * *

…

The sunset was beautiful, and it was a beautiful day. His old friend came to visit, so Nezuko was preparing some snacks.

The Fire Pillar exhaled.

* * *

**Thank you for reading!**

**ko.**


	13. Setting Sun

**13\. Setting Sun**

It was quiet, the thumping of his own heart keeping himself rooted.

_The Earl._

_Their nemesis. _

Right before him. Right there-

_Breathe._

Tanjirou breathed.

Since the day the Black Order was attacked, the level four smiling wryly and the world shattering beneath his feet, Tanjirou had this feeling. Blood coursed through his veins, and there was this inkling at the back of his mind, prodding his thoughts again and _again_.

It was subtle, but Tanjirou felt it.

_Don't waver._

_Never waver._

_The day of confrontation. The day of endings._

Today was the day he would face the Millennium Earl. He trusted his instincts above everything.

_Don't make a single mistake._

"A beautiful night, isn't it," the Earl began, his head turned away and enjoying the night's breeze. They were meters apart from each other, and the world seemed to still.

He answered softly. "Indeed."

The Earl went on rambling about numerous things, such as "work" and his hyperactive, rowdy family. As he spoke, Tanjirou never looked away. It was slightly disturbing seeing someone who wished for humanity's destruction talking about such things, but Tanjirou kept his mind clear. _Hone your senses sharp, k__eep track of__ everything. Don't let a single thing go unnoticed_. _Be aware. Aware of who you are facing. Aware of _everything_._

_It is your responsibility._

Before Tanjirou knew it, the Earl wasn't talking about weird family gossips anymore.

It kind of caught him off guard.

"The Black Order is such a murky place, don't you think?"

... Amber gold eyes peered down at him, and Tanjirou knew that he was waiting for his response, a reaction. He wouldn't give him one, though. Tanjirou wouldn't.

So the Earl continued, taking note of Tanjirou's closed fists.

"Someone like you really shouldn't be there… Or right _here_, as a matter of fact. You're not even _supposed_ to be in this plane, am I not right?" His voice softened, and Tanjirou was surprised that even the Earl could speak so… Quietly.

"You're supposed to be across the Sanzu River."

The Earl smiled. It wasn't a sick one, nor was it dry. It was just... There.

Tanjirou found himself staring at him, and the Earl chuckled, shaking his head.

"You see, it was truly a surprise for me, as well, to see a person like you emerge out of nowhere nearly a decade ago," pausing, he placed his hands together. "All of your former comrades are gone, are they not?"

He thought that the Earl's eyes would be grinning, but they weren't.

"How about it? You know what I can do. I can bring them back… Your loved ones. All of them."

There was a row of people standing behind Tanjirou. They were always at the edge of his vision, so Tanjirou never saw them. The girl told him, too, that she could see those people behind him, at his back- supporting him. Tanjirou knew. He was well aware about it.

They were there. His family, mentors, and friends. His little sister. They were all there, right behind him.

Constantly, never leaving.

All of them.

… The Earl's scent wasn't one of deceit, but Tanjirou closed his eyes.

Blood vessels were visible around his head, and he breathed steadily.

_Unwavering._

"Don't you dare make a fool out of me. The dead won't come back to life. Lives that are lost will never come back. I know that better than anyone else."

He gritted his teeth.

"_Anyone_."

_So don't you dare say something like that ever again. Don't you dare._

The Earl stared ahead, and quiet enveloped the plane where they stood. Tanjirou wondered what thoughts were running through his head, leaving him so still and motionless.

What made him want to destroy humanity? What drove him to do such a thing?

Why?

Tanjirou wished he could've had a chance to understand, but today, time was not on their side.

After a moment of deafening silence, the Earl finally sighed, resigned.

"Indeed, you do. Such a pity, Kamado Tanjirou. We could have been good friends."

Level fours emerged from all around, surrounding the exorcist as the Millennium Earl took a step back.

Tanjirou remained unfazed.

"Well then, have a good night, Kamado. Best of luck to you."

Drawing his sword, the character _Destruction _glinted under the moonlight.

"I won't be needing that luck, Count Millennium."

His grip tightened.

"_We will not fall_."

* * *

It was painful.

Painful and dreadful.

Every cut vibrated in his bones, and each slash and strike had rebounds. The confidence and adrenaline he originally had quickly ran out, and Tanjirou tasted blood.

_His endurance and healing capabilities were a tad bit better than other people, but lately, it seemed like it was failing on him._

_He was reaching his limit, wasn't he. Half of his strings were already cut._

_(The reason was simple, so simple that he could laugh. He was _remembering. _Remembering _everything _and-__)_

Pain struck him, and Tanjirou cried out. A gash ran across his arm- it was so red. His blood.

He was in the middle of nowhere, away from headquarters, and away from everyone. Perhaps, far enough so that Allen wouldn't be able to detect anything. Tanjirou had listened carefully- the limit to the cursed eye's range. Allen didn't think twice before telling him about it.

… The children had it hard. There was a lot on their plates, and Tanjirou didn't want his problem to bother them- they had to move on. No matter how many of them died, they had to move on. The Earl was a cunning man, he was planning something, but Tanjirou wasn't sure what exactly.

_Whatever it was, it had to do with the "Fourteenth."_

Pain searing through his chest, his vision suddenly doubled. AKUMAs were looming over him.

... Even if Tanjirou died, right then and there… For sure, he would take some burden off their shoulders, no?

There were a lot of AKUMAs here, after all.

So many, if he managed to destroy them all-

He thought about Lenalee and Komui.

Yu.

He swung his sword horizontally, striking the AKUMA's side as sparks came to life. The monster screeched, the noise pounding in Tanjirou's head as a thousand thorns came rushing in-

There were no breathing space.

Something hooked his foot, he was slipping forward- _get it back. Get your footing back!_

Everywhere was AKUMA.

_Ten thousand. Ten thousand or more. A million. _Tanjirou choked, eyes burning- the smell was _unbearable_-

A sudden realization hit him, and Tanjirou stared ahead.

He was going to die.

He was going to die.

He was going to die.

He was going to die.

He was going to die.

He was going to die.

He was going to die.

He was going to die.

He was going to die.

_He was going to die-!_

_No._

_No!_

_Get a grasp of yourself, the night has barely begun!_

_You know that you won't be able to go back, you know that you won't be able to return._

_You know that, and that's why you still went! _

_So fight, Kamado Tanjirou Lee. Fight!_

_Everyone is working so hard, so should you...!_

He raised his blade, and-

A soft laughter. He heard a soft laughter.

There was a soft laughter, combined with the warm scent from the kitchen.

Jeryy was grinning as he offered another bucket of rice. Everyone laughing, they were all tired but happy. As Lenalee poured cups of hot coffee for the sleep-deprived scientists, Yu sat at the side, eyes closed and meditating. Lavi was poking fun at his finder friend, his friend teasing him back. Reever, looking for Komui, was trying to drag him back to work. Steam rose as Tanjirou scooped up the rice, and a sense of pure happiness filled their stomachs-

_Breathe._

He looked up into the air.

The stars were bright, today.

...

Knock knock, little bunny… From the little mountain.

Why are your ears so long?

When she was small, my mother ate the leaves of a tall tree…

And that is why my ears are so long.

Knock knock, little bunny... From the little mountain.

Why are your eyes so red?

When she was small, my mother ate the fruit of a red tree.

And that is why…

My eyes are so red.

Tanjirou was gazing at the world. Mother was holding his hand, and the flames flickered.

Everything was moving slowly, the world nearly motionless. Swallowing, he pushed forward, the centuries old nichirin sword held tightly in his hands.

It was going to be alright. Just take a few breaths, and keep your heart rate high. It was okay.

You can do it.

Do your best.

After this, you will finally gain conclusion.

The wrap.

The end.

Find it.

Do it.

Tanjirou bit down the inside of his cheek-

See it, remember it!

This sensation, _the see-through world!_

The line of interval shot past him, red eyes gazing at the thin string of fate tying itself around the neck of the AKUMA. He saw through all of it.

The soul. The chains. The pumping of blood through veins.

His body was on fire. His forehead was burning up-

White flames engulfed the world.

_Dance of the fire god._

Tanjirou breathed.

_The Setting Sun._

The level four exploded. It was quickly replaced by another one. Tanjirou did not spend the time to blink- he dealt with the next one swiftly.

He swung his sword, shot forward, twisted, and changed his footing. Each breath he took moved him forward. He was breathing.

Long ago, at the beginning of each year, every generation of a certain family would perform a certain dance. It was very tough, for they have to dance continuously from dusk to dawn.

An offering to the god of fire, that was what it was. The performer would work with the flames, praying for safety and longevity- so that no danger would reach their family.

A tradition unique to the Kamado family.

He remembered how his father would dance, his face masked and frail body _moving_. He recalled how the air was cold, biting into skin and lungs but _his father did not stop_. He kept repeating all twelve forms of the dance, over and over and over, until the dawn finally breaks.

_Tanjirou. All you need is this dance and these earrings. Take this from me and do not falter. It's a promise._

He remembered, he remembered. He really did remember.

It was dark out. The air was cold, nearly snowing. AKUMAs surrounded him, and he was alone.

_Flame Waltz. _

_Fire Chariot. _

_Burning Sun._

_Parhelion Rainbow. _

_Shining Sun Stab._

_Solar Halo Dragon Dance._

_Scorching Crimson Mirror._

_Sunflower Lance._

_Parhelion Rainbow._

_Fire Chariot._

_Soaring Flame Haze. _

_Bone Burning Sun. _

_Parhelion Rainbow._

_Flame Waltz._

_The Setting Sun._

_Burning Sun. _

_Soaring Flame Haze._

_Solar Halo Dragon Dance._

_Flame Waltz._

_Parhelion Rainbow._

_Fire Chariot._

…

_Big brother. You're… You were always like this. __No matter how beaten you are, there is always something you have to protect. No matter how painful it is, you move forward. __Sometimes, you worry. What if you don't succeed? What if you fail? But then you push on, pushing away these thoughts and say out loud: I will not falter. I will not yield._

_You've fought for so long. You've endured it to the end._

_You can rest now. Big brother._

_It's enough now._

"Tanjirou!"

Everything was muffled around him. Standing still and eyes wide, he found his throat dry- he was breathing to hard. Hand twitching, Tanjirou tried to find the feeling in his arms and legs. It was numb. So numb. He couldn't move. Swallowing, he felt his chest tighten- _catch your breath. _

Striking pain hit him, and Tanjirou coughed- his ears were ringing and _it hurt so much-_

But- oh, Lenalee. Lenalee was here. He recognized her scent.

"Tanjirou! The blood, you were fighting alone all this time- someone! We need medical attention! Tanjirou, stay with me!"

Lenalee was here, so Tanjirou tried to slow down his breathing.

...

Oh…

Nezuko.

That was right. Nezuko was his little sister's name.

Nezuko. Takeo. Rokuta. Hanako. Shigeru. Mother. Father. Grandmother. Giyuu. Urokodaki. Haganezuka. Sabito. Makomo. Tamayo. Yushiro. Zenitsu. Inosuke. Kanao. Shinobu. Aoi. Naho, Kiyo, Sumi. Goto. Murata.

Rengoku. Senjuro. Uzui. Makio, Sumi, Hinatsuru. Kanroji. Tokitou. Kotetsu. Himejima. Genya. Sanemi. Obanai. Kiriya. Ubuyashiki, Oyakata. Everyone.

Nezuko.

"Tanjirou, Tanjirou!" He was lying on the ground, Lenalee shaking him gently. She was in distraught, frantic and _scared_.

"Len…" He whispered, his voice nearly inaudible.

That was right. He died. He was already dead, but then he was brought back to life. The Black Order dragged him back to life, they dragged him out of his grave. His sword was beside him, held limply in his right hand. Rengoku's sword guard. Rengoku saved him.

That was right, they all died.

Tears threatened to gather. Tears threatened to spill.

They all died.

The world around him was blurry, but he could see Lenalee's face so clearly. She was yelling something, trying to keep him awake.

The corners of his sight had begun to darken, he could feel his consciousness slipping away.

... For an instance, Tanjirou thought that he would be more angry, now that he remembered everything. Yet rather than anger, he just felt... Tired.

Lenalee…

Everyone had fought so hard.

He recalled the first time he met the girl. She was only six or seven, his first friend in the European Branch. Before coming to the headquarters, he had trouble remembering things. The moment he learned someone's name, he would already forget how they looked like. It was probably the same with Yu. Yu looked really angry back then. Maybe he met him before, but he forgot. They were both from the Asian Branch, after all.

Komui was very funny. He could relate to him as an older brother. He was really happy when Komui named him part of the Lee family. Everyone from the science division was so kind to him. The finders, too, and the cooks. Reever was his second friend, and Jeryy had always let him in the kitchen. He helped cook the rice. General Yeegar was very patient with him, as well. He was really shocked when he heard the news of his demise _it made him thought of Shinobu, she died when no one was there-_

Lavi was interesting. He was very playful, but he constantly smelled of loneliness. Recently, that smell was slowly going away. He hoped that they will all continue being friends.

This was his new family. The Black Order.

_Don't you hate them?_

A younger Marian sat beside him. They were in the cafeteria, the lights dim and cold.

Tanjirou couldn't bear to.

He couldn't bear to, no matter how frustrated and upset he was at the Order- no matter how evil the deeds they committed to him. No matter what they had done to him, his body, his _memories_, _name_, _everything_-

Kamado Tanjirou was the son of a coal burner. Kamado Tanjirou was the son of Kamado Tanjuro.

He couldn't bear to hate them.

Allen stood behind Lenalee. He was a bit farther behind, staring at the scene before him with wide eyes. He was out of breath- the cursed eye led him here. Allen noticed. The moon was carefully watching over them, and in that moment, their eyes met.

Burgundy to silver.

Tanjirou smiled.

_Growing old and dying is the beauty of the fleeting creature called a human being._

Rengoku had placed a firm hand on his shoulder, the first rays of sunshine piercing through the darkness of the night.

_Don't be saddened by the fact that we are all reaching the end._

"Hey..." Allen said weakly, his voice quivering and faint.

Tanjirou wondered if Rengoku had felt the same as the last of his life slipped away. They were facing each other, smiling wetly as the skies finally turned bright. It was a long night, that day.

The Fire Pillar blinked slowly, exhaustion creeping up to him as he breathed. The marked ones cannot live long, and Tanjirou was already well over his forties. Yet somehow, he still looked like this, someone stopped in time.

_Time doesn't wait for anyone, _Lavi had said. Tanjirou agreed.

Time never waited for anyone, and like an hour glass, all lives were bound to meet its end.

Because it was Zenitsu whom he buried first.

His corpse was stabbed through the chest, red inking his _haori_ and his black hair washing back to yellow.

… His eyes were closed, blood trailing down his chin. Tanjirou had wondered if he would jump right back up, resuming the stance of the Lightning Breath once again. Zenitsu always gave off the scent of strength, after all.

He never did.

He buried Inosuke's next.

The _kakushi_ helped him. Back then, the skies were bleeding red and a typhoon seemed to be brewing. A sick feeling had grown in everyone's stomachs, each of their hearts going weak. It was cold.

Kanao's.

Murata.

Kanroji. She died shielding him. The building had caved in.

Haganezuka.

Half of the time, there weren't any bodies to bury in the first place. Despite that fact, many more still came after, and Tanjirou wasn't sure if there was even enough land to bury them.

Eventually, the next was his own.

Nezuko had carefully placed his body into the earth, her gentle hands calloused with cuts and scars- then suddenly, the world tilted left and black stars were scattered on her skin, her eyes filled with so much fear and-

Grief.

_I'm sorry._

_I'm sorry for leaving you behind, big brother._

"... It's been so long."

Closing his eyes, he smiled softly. Lenalee hugged him. She was crying.

Nezuko was holding his hand.

"_I'm home, everyone_."

* * *

**The final take will begin.**

***puts nezuko theme and ode to tanjirou on repeat-* ****Thank you for reading and for your continuous support! This was written right after I finished chapter one and two, so it might take some time before the next update. That being said, p****lease have a nice day, and once again, thank you for reading! **

**ko.**

(**Sanzu River:** 三途の川 / River of Three Crossings. Derives from Japanese Buddhist mythology, concept similar to of the River Styx in Greek mythology.)


	14. The Fire Pillar

**14\. The Fire Pillar**

"Kibutsuji Muzan was because of me."

Tanjirou blinked, gazing at his amber eyed friend. Nea was staring directly back at him, waiting for his response, a reaction.

"... Is that so?" Tanjirou decided to say, taking a sip from his tea. The scenery from his new estate was very beautiful, he would have to thank the _kakushi _for it. Apparently, they worked very hard to find this land for him and his sister.

Nea stared at him blankly.

"What the hell. 'Is that so?' Aren't you going to ask anything else? I'm the reason why your kid sister over there turned into a demon, y'know."

Tanjirou squinted. "Eh, well. How to put it… Nezuko turned back human, and even if Kibutsuji Muzan _was _because of you, it was still Kibutsuji Muzan who did everything else, right?"

"Hah? You don't make any sense. Kibutsuji Muzan became a demon because of me, and that's basically _enabling _him to do everything he did or strive to do."

Tanjirou laughed lightly, giving Nea a small smile. Nea _hated _that smile. "Even so… The past cannot be changed, and what happened happened. Kibutsuji Muzan is gone- years ago, so it's all good!"

After a short moment of silence, his amber eyed friend sighed- he smelled of defeat.

"Fine, whatever. Suit yourself, then."

Tanjirou beamed at him.

"Will your brother be coming over, later? It has been a while."

Nea shrugged, the golden golem sitting snuggly by his lap. "Dunno, he's been busy here and there."

Tanjirou blinked slowly. "Huh… I see."

"Big brother! Zenitsu came over, he brought us some cakes!"

"Oh! Got it, Nezuko!" Tanjirou smiled, turning around. "Long time no see, Zenitsu!"

There was a gentle breeze, and Nea looked up.

It was a conversation from a distant sunset.

* * *

Summer was over, and now it was fall. Yellowing leaves turned orange, the path covered in a beautiful hue of warmth. Tanjirou smiled, it was a truly breathtaking sight to behold. Upon noticing a troubled elderly couple, he quickly came to their aid.

One of the wheels of their wooden cart had gotten stuck.

"On the count to three, please pull hard!" Tanjirou called from behind, gripping the side of the cart firmly.

"One, two… Three!" The cart was lifted as the elderly husband and wife pulled forward, dragging the cart along as it successfully escaped the pit. A bright smile reached their faces as they gave the Fire Pillar their thanks.

They offered him mochi, Tanjirou accepting it with gratitude. It was delicious.

Life was peaceful and at ease. Nothing seemed to faze him anymore, except for the occasional surprises his friends would bring. Now that demons no longer exist, and that Nezuko turned back human…

Tanjirou's smile softened as he waved goodbye, the elderly couple's silhouette slowly disappearing within the crowds of people.

"Mr. Kamado! We have some fruits and vegetables here, would you like some?"

"Sir, thank you for fixing the door, earlier! Here, a gift for you and your sister!"

There was no need to wield the sword, anymore.

"Tanjirou?" Tanjirou jumped, chopsticks nearly dropping from his hands as Zenitsu eyed him weirdly. They were eating hotpot, using the ingredients and groceries Tanjirou had received from the villagers. Zenitsu visited, so the three of them were eating dinner together.

"That being said," Nezuko smiled, refilling her bowl. "Zenitsu, where did you go this time?"

"Ah, Ireland," Zenitsu replied. "It was pretty cold, now that the weather's changing. Oh and, Tanjirou." Tanjirou blinked. "You haven't been sleeping well recently, right?"

Turning away from the table, Zenitsu took out a box wrapped in paper. Carefully unwrapping the gift, a small figure that resembled a fairy sat on Zenitsu's hands. It was a key, beautifully crafted with means of care. For a moment, it reminded Tanjirou of Urokodaki. He and Nezuko should go visit him later. It was the anniversary, after all.

"It's supposed to be a set with this 'silent music box', but then I couldn't find the other part," Zenitsu said, looking up to meet the other's eyes. "Sorry about that, Tanjirou."

Staring at the little fairy in his hands, Tanjirou smiled.

"Thank you, Zenitsu."

Zenitsu told them about his adventures. Since then, he had been traveling a lot. Before, he had explored every bit of Japan, and now he was traveling across the world. After hearing about the _ship _from Nea, Tanjirou couldn't help but be amazed. Land that seemed unreachable could be reached in a matter of seconds, the Cambell family was amazing!

At the sight of the bandages wrapped around Zenitsu's forehead, Tanjirou's gaze softened.

"... Does it still hurt?"

Pausing for a moment, Zenitsu shook his head. They began to clean up the table.

"It's okay," the blonde suddenly said. He was washing the bowls, sleeves rolled up as water poured out from the faucet. Nose scrunching up, he sighed. "Still aches, though. What rite of passage? It's stupid."

Tanjirou laughed.

* * *

Zenitsu's smell had been very distant, lately. Tanjirou vividly remembered the moment his crow delivered the dreadful letter to him- terror had grasped his soul. When he told Nezuko, his younger sister had quickly grabbed his hand, the two of them departing for the Butterfly Estate.

An unknown illness, Aoi had said with the smell of defeat and self-hate. She didn't know what to do to fix it.

Even now, a ragged scar still ran across the blonde's forehead. It wasn't like he was attacked or anything, and it was definitely not because of some sort of Blood Demon Art. He was traveling across the country by himself, he had been for a while. But one day, his head suddenly burst out bleeding, and panic arose. The Demon Killing Corps were given the alert, and Master Kiriya immediately went to work.

They looked through the libraries and sought out doctors and healers. Crows were sent to seek out any sort of clue, but to no avail, the Ubuyashiki and Butterfly Estate alike were left with a blank page.

Tanjirou remembered reaching the medical wing. It was cold, and Zenitsu's skin was extremely pale. Blood loss, he recalled. It was because of blood loss.

... It scared him, it really did. To watch someone you knew in so much pain was terrifying.

For a moment, the peaceful and demon-less world darkened.

The trek to Urokodaki's house was long but fulfilling. Baggage wrapped to his back, Tanjirou and Nezuko made their way through the fields. The air was turning cooler, but it was rather refreshing. Tanjirou recalled the time he first arrived at his teacher's home. It was so long ago.

Closing in to the mountain, a familiar fragrance drifted in the air. The Fire Pillar smiled brightly.

"Mister Urokodaki! We're here!"

They lit up the incense, a string of smoke arising from the tip. Sticking it into the tray of ashes, hands covered in calluses were held together. Alongside Urokodaki and Nezuko, Tanjirou bowed his head down. Before them, a stone slab sat with careful words carved into its surface.

_Tomioka Giyuu, _it said.

They prayed.

* * *

Nea told him about the _ship. _Noah's Ark, he called it. The home of his family, his "birthplace." Amber eyes were gazing at the horizon as Tanjirou stood beside him. They were near Edo.

"What song are you humming?" Tanjirou asked. Even thought it was already nighttime, the lights from the city kept the world bright. Nea shrugged, eyes not leaving the horizon. There was something on his mind, Tanjirou could tell.

"... Hey, Tanjirou. Why did you decline my brother's offer?"

Tanjirou blinked.

"Oh, that." Pausing for a moment, Tanjirou made a hum, turning to watch the horizon as well. The line between land, ocean, and sky was beautiful. "I had thought about it, actually. It _was_ very tempting, I can't lie about that. But..." He chuckled softly, shaking his head.

"Someone once said that growing old dying... It's the beauty of this creature known as human beings. Perhaps, one day, they will be reborn again... Or, I don't know, maybe they won't. I... I guess it's just something to keep me grounded. It'll be rude if I just... You know, wake them up, right?"

"... I suppose," Nea replied. Releasing a sigh, his amber eyed friend straightened his back, wind gently brushing against his hair.

Tanjirou laughed, poking Timcanpy's cheek as the yellow thing made a low growl. It was so cute. "It's just life- people live, they die... I guess that is why we are taught to appreciate and give our thanks. Every journey has an end, Nea. They always do."

Nea hummed at that, his eyes closed and breath even.

The song came back. Tanjirou blinked. Before he knew it, the world turned white and-

A city.

White streets, peerless and grand.

"... Whoa," the Fire Pillar found himself saying, staring at the clear sky as a white bird flew by- Tanjirou never saw that kind of bird before.

"The Noah's Ark," Nea said simply, a small smirk on his lips. He smelled tired, Tanjirou noticed. "Welcome aboard."

Since meeting Nea, the two of them would talk at the porch, chatting about random things and sometimes nothing at all. The scenery was always beautiful no matter the time, and really, there was no rush for anything. Nezuko would prepare some snacks, many of which Zenitsu had sent via crow. The Kamado family always treated their guests well.

It was a regime. Tanjirou would wake up early in the morning to wait, and Nea would come by, a leaf or two stuck on his sleeves. Life quickly turned normal again, so during that instance Nea mentioned Muzan, Tanjirou was thrown off guard.

_"Kibutsuji Muzan was because of me."_

Kibutsuji Muzan was because of Nea.

Tanjirou sniffed the air. Nea's smell was solid and strong, unwavering. He wasn't lying.

Mixed feelings. It was really like that, Tanjirou wasn't sure how to feel about it. He thought about all the people who lost their lives, his comrades who fought against the demons. The bloodshed. The hurt. The emotions. The grief. He thought about all of them, his sister and family and- Nea's smell… It was confusing. Tanjirou understood why Inosuke felt so unsettled by them, Nea and Mana both.

Even so... If possible, he didn't want to fight anymore. Questions were born almost immediately after the words left Nea's lips, but Tanjirou held his tongue and swallowed his concerns.

Nea seemed to notice that, however. That was why he prodded on, demanding questions to be asked.

He was probably trying to get Tanjirou angry, but for these very reasons, Tanjirou came to a conclusion.

Nea was a good friend.

Tanjirou knew better than to just judge a situation immediately, there was simply too much to lose thinking that way. Nea was not lying. He wasn't lying about Kibutsuji Muzan, but at the same time, he was not saying the complete truth as well.

That, and this quiet Ark, too, said a lot. Tanjirou would never forget this breathtaking scene.

"Between you and me?" Nea said, he was turning seventeen.

Tanjirou smiled, nodding. "Between you and me."

"... Thanks."

Nea was like a child- and he probably still was. To children, promises meant everything, and Nea trusted Tanjirou. Tanjirou had this suspicion that the Noah's Ark wasn't something to be shown to others that easily, but Nea took him to his secret piano room without a sign of hesitation. Tanjirou never saw a piano before, so he was amazed as Nea played a simple tune on it. It was the same song he was humming.

Mana had gotten busy lately, so he wouldn't be able to visit for a while. That was what Nea said, at least, and Tanjirou believed him.

So by his side, he watched as the younger Cambell twin hummed the tune, golden chains forming as the Ark hovered above Edo. Light had sparked into life, and like snow, it dusted the world with beautiful white.

"What are you doing?" Tanjirou asked.

"... A marker," Nea replied, eyes peering to the sword by Tanjirou's waist. "So that I know where to go, if I ever get lost."

For a moment, it felt like Nea was talking about something else entirely. Tanjirou wasn't sure, even his keen sense of smell couldn't tell what people were exactly thinking in their mind. Gazing up to the Ark, he let the cool air surround him. Timcanpy had sat on his head, his tail nearly smacking Tanjirou in the face. Nea laughed at that, amber eyes beaming as Tanjirou pouted, trying to detach the golem from his head.

Winter arrived; the new year's was here.

It was going to be the beginning of a new year.

* * *

Two years ago, the weather was calm and serene. Giyuu had passed away because of an illness. His skin was terribly pale, and Tanjirou couldn't help but think of his father, who died a similar death. It was saddening, for the world had just became peaceful again. Giyuu did not live long after Muzan's defeat.

Tanjirou had sat by Giyuu's grave. It was dark, and the moon hung solemnly above the demon slayer (Tanjirou wasn't sure if he could still call himself one). The last of the incense had long burned away, and he was alone. Urokodaki and Nezuko had already returned indoors. It was chilly, that day.

That was when he met Mana, Nea's twin brother.

"Do you want me to bring him back?" A man- no, he was young, only in his teens- had asked. He had a slight accent, and there was a strange hat on the top of his head. Gazing upwards, tired, burgundy eyes met curious amber. In that instance, time slowed down, and the world stopped.

Bring… Back?

Was that even possible?

...

"... No, it's alright," Tanjirou smiled sadly. It was quiet. "All lives eventually end one day. His death only meant that his time has come, likewise all the others who lost their lives thus far." Pausing, he looked back to the child, their eyes meeting again.

He beamed at him. "Thank you, though, if you are really able to do so. I appreciate it."

The boy had stared at him with wide eyes, a scent of slight confusion and shock reaching his nose. That scent later shifted into curiosity, and when the next morning arrived, the child came by again.

The day after that, and then the next.

Very soon, a month passed, and the child he came to know as Mana emerged from the shadows, taking small steps as Tanjirou smiled, welcoming him with open arms.

Mana asked again. "You _sure _you don't want to take up my offer…?" His top hat was held in his hands, fingers curling at the brim. Hesitance lingered in his demeanor, Tanjirou noticed.

Smiling, the Fire Pillar chuckled. "Oh you," he placed a calloused hand on the top of the boy's head, ruffling his hair.

"How about some tea? It's very delicious, you might like it! Here," he poured a cup carefully, holding it up to the boy with a bright smile, "try some!"

There was a look of surprise on Mana's face. Fidgeting on his feet, he mustered out a small smile.

"... Do you mind if I bring my brother here?"

Pausing, Tanjirou's smile only turned brighter. "Sure, Mana! The more the merrier!"

Giyuu, who passed away, did not have to worry about those who were left behind. Tanjirou believed that to the bottom of his heart, each day passing by the calendar and sunrise. The Demon Killing Corps would be okay, everyone would be fine.

Soon after, he met Nea for the first time, and years passed since then.

As it turned out, Zenitsu was actually related to them- such a coincidence! Smiling to himself, Tanjirou watched as the skies changed, the world moving. The sunset was very beautiful, no matter how many times he saw it. Night had meant terror, he remembered elder Saburo's look of wary. His family must have been killed by demons, now that Tanjirou thought about it.

_How naive he was, back then_.

But now, things were different.

Things changed, and some things remained the same.

Sucking in a breath, the Fire Pillar prepared the ceremony. Nezuko helped set up, the torches put in place. Dressed with what his father once wore, Tanjirou raised the staff, the sun dipping into the horizon.

Flames flickered, his friends and family sitting at the side. They were watching carefully, tiny snowflakes drifting down from the heavens.

Tanjirou was happy.

He was content, shifting his footing as he changed from one stance to the next. The dance came naturally to him, each form of the breath long engraved to his memory. The staff as his nichirin sword and ceremonial clothing as his uniform, Tanjirou repeated all twelve forms of the dance again and again.

There was no need to fight anymore. There was no need to wield the sword anymore. With that in his mind, the Fire Pillar prayed.

Nezuko's heartwarming hug, Kanao's bright gaze. Inosuke's laughter and Zenitsu's reluctant smile.

Genya placed a hand on his shoulder, Tanjirou looking up and-

Happiness always ended with the scent of blood.

* * *

...

There was something in Mana's mind. He was the Millennium Earl, he really was! The world was not as it seemed, and he had to do what he must. The Heart must be destroyed, the cube must be defeated, his mission- he had a mission, and for seventeen years he had left it in the dust! No, no! Even if it meant devouring Nea, even if it meant...! He had to do it.

He had to become the Earl again.

Road frowned, placing a gentle hand by Mana's cheek. He was crying, wasn't he.

Nea. Nea. Nea. Nea was his brother, his _twin- _he couldn't just do this to him, he couldn't!

"I am the Millennium Earl," he rasped. His eyes were burning, everything was _hurting_. "I am the Millennium Earl. I am-"

**ThE MiLlEnNiEm EaRl, ArEn'T i?**

* * *

**Thank you for reading! **

**ko.**


	15. Zenitsu

**15\. Zenitsu**

Zenitsu had been searching for a long time, you know? Since then, he kept searching for it. He wasn't able to find those flowers in the end, and it became his biggest regret.

(He was lying. His biggest regret wasn't that, but the fact that he didn't use that time to be with his friends. It was awful. Too late. Horrible.)

(_I'm sorry._ _I'm really sorry_.)

But he would probably be never forgiven for it. Zenitsu understood that. Gramps should be so angry. Zenitsu knew that.

Agastuma Zenitsu acknowledged that for a fact.

* * *

"I am the Count Millennium."

Mana had arrived at the Ubuyashiki House's doorsteps, a serene smile on his lips. At the time, the Demon Killing Corps was in a silent havoc; while Zenitsu's injury hadn't worsen lately, they still had no idea how his head started bleeding. A year had passed since Mana and Tanjirou's encounter at Giyuu's grave.

The Cambell twins first heard of this when Nea was sitting at the Kamado sibling's porch. The sun was setting (as always), and Zenitsu, finally out of the infirmary and traveling again, decided to visit. He brought some rice cakes from a faraway village, and Tanjirou couldn't help but be worried for his friend's health. Was it really alright for him to be traveling right now?

But if Aoi didn't stop him, then it should be alright… Right?

"I know what the problem is," Nea had suddenly said, amber eyes glancing at Zenitsu's bandaged forehead. Zenitsu and Tanjirou and Nezuko all blinked at the same time. Because he was Tanjirou's friend, they decided to trust him.

It was the first Tanjirou heard of Mana's "title," however, he had never heard of it until then. Tanjirou wondered why Mana never told him about it. Perhaps it was just that it never came up.

Everyone gathered at the Ubuyashiki Manor. They listened with careful ears as Mana spoke, his Japanese now fluid and strong.

It wasn't an illness, it was completely normal. It was just something that happens in a certain household, a rite of passage.

Uncovering Zenitsu's forehead, what they called a _stigma _was above his brows.

Zenitsu Agatsuma was actually a member of Mana's family, and most importantly, the bleeding wasn't life threatening.

A strange relief decided to settle within the Demon Killing Corps, but some of the Pillars were still concerned. Bleeding… From the head? A rite of passage?

What kind of rite of passage was that?

It wasn't a strange thought that Zenitsu actually came from a foreigner family, though. He _was _an orphan, Zenitsu said so himself, so didn't it make sense? Looking closely, Tanjirou did noticed that their eyes were a bit similar, too, except in slightly different shades.

Zenitsu, however, did not take the new found information kindly.

"Family?" His voice was hoarse, scratchy because of a fever. "Are you crazy? What kind of family leaves someone alone for _eighteen years straight_? It's an insult! They're no family of mine, and besides- where are you from, again? I'm _completely Japanese_!"

"Our family is quite spread apart," Mana explained, a small, amused smile on his lips. "We're all over the planet, so it's actually quite normal!"

Zenitsu made an infuriated whine at the back of his throat, his scent out of whack and blood boiling.

"Tanjirou, you don't honestly trust them, right?" Zenitsu said, exasperated. "Bleeding from the head- what the heck! Scientifically and whatever, it's definitely bogus, I don't believe them!"

Before Tanjirou could respond, however, their eyes met and Zenitsu fell silent.

"Oh," he said, voice suddenly cold and void of feeling. Tanjirou paused, a strangling feeling crawling up his shoulder- that smell-

_Zenitsu? What's wrong?_

_Why do you smell that way?_

"So you believe him."

Tanjirou saw white, and suddenly, a horrible feeling swelled in his gut.

He wanted to throw up.

* * *

They had multiple meetings. While most of the Demon Killing Corps gradually warmed up with the Cambell brothers, the elder Kamado still felt this cold shiver running through his veins. It was strange- Mana was his friend, almost like a younger brother to him. Maybe it was guilt that Tanjirou was feeling, he wasn't sure.

Mana had offered to share some of his clan's archives. Tanjirou was happy for Kiriya, for the boy looked and smelled absolutely amazed at the sheer amount of books Mana offered. The hard covered books were in all sorts of characters and words- think about all the knowledge hidden within these pages!

The same, collective thought was in everyone's mind.

_With this knowledge, cases like Zenitsu's won't happen again._

Then again...

"A family's friend is my friend, I support the Demon Killing Corps," Mana said simply. He had noticed Kiriya's small discomfort- something hard to notice at first glance. Was it really alright for the Count to share so much, despite the Demon Killing Corps giving nothing back?

Mana went on.

"Truth to be told, I never heard of this organization until a friend told me all about it. I was really touched, hearing about the Demon Killing Corps. As clan head, I decided to share all of this on my own violation," tilting his head forward in a bow, Mana continued softly. "If it is possible, I'd like if we could get along well.

"Is that… Alright?"

The look in his amber eyes. The soft, serene smile he would wear.

Many couldn't help but think of the late Oyakata, Master Kagaya.

The Pillars were all present, then. Alongside with the master's sisters, they all stood by Kiriya's side as pillars of support.

Small hands creasing to tremble, Kiriya closed them into fists. The master was also working very hard, he held the most burden, after all. That day, the boy smelled of conviction.

"Of course."

The Pillars remained silent. Tanjirou remained silent. They all understood, the feeling was mutual.

Sitting across Tanjirou was the Lightning Pillar. His face was still scarred with cracks from his previous (and one of his last) battles, his forehead still wrapped neatly with a white cloth. Zenitsu had this odd look on his face, it was almost blank.

Glancing at Mana, Mana blinked, meeting Tanjirou's eyes. He smiled kindly, and Tanjirou tried to muster one back.

… It was okay, everyone was on the same side. There were no enemies, none at all. It was alright, it really was! Everything was fine!

Something felt wrong, and Tanjirou couldn't help but feel guilty for that.

* * *

"I don't get it, it's just so weird!" Inosuke said, swinging an arm around as he chomped down his slice of watermelon. Standing up, he hopped off the porch and spun on his feet, waving the fruit in Tanjirou's face. "He's too trusting, _way _too trusting! He barely know us, and we barely know them!

"He's weird!"

"Inosuke, eat your food properly. But, I suppose... You have a point," Tanjirou simply said, holding his cup of green tea.

The Beast Pillar huffed, putting the watermelon down to cross his arms. "But they helped Monitsu, and claim that they're… What, 'family?' Like how you and Nezuko are?"

Tanjirou paused a bit before replying. "I guess so, I'm not exactly sure on the details… But…" His mouth went dry, so he drank some tea. "They aren't lying."

Inosuke grunted. "They aren't, but they're hiding things."

The Fire Pillar found himself staring at his teacup. Taking a breath, he nodded.

"... Yeah, they are."

"And they're hiding too much," Tanjirou froze at Zenitsu's voice. Turning around, burgundy met brown, and for unknown reasons Tanjirou felt this sense of panic. Why was he panicking? It was just Zenitsu- _calm down. Calm down, Tanjirou!_

Zenitsu was standing by the sliding doors, the same blank expression on his face from earlier.

"... Zenitsu," before Tanjirou could stand up, Zenitsu sighed. He was leaning against the door sill, his smell faint and body limp.

"I'm tired."

At that moment, even Inosuke fell quiet.

Tanjirou felt his heart wrench.

Opening his mouth, closing it, then opening it again, Tanjirou tried to smile for his friend.

"I'll make you some tea, so sit here for a bit with Inosuke, alright? It'll be quick!"

Tanjirou's voice had cracked a little, he hoped that Zenitsu wouldn't notice. Except, it was Zenitsu, so he probably caught it either way. The Lightning Pillar didn't respond much to it, however. He only paused, eyes gazing at the other- he was reading him.

… He was reading him.

After what seemed like hours, Zenitsu finally nodded, making his way to settle down on the porch.

Zenitsu was going to travel overseas. Since his injury, he was bedridden for weeks until the headaches finally eased. After Mana clarified what exactly was going on, it seemed like Zenitsu was fine- though his smell... It was different. Just a bit. Tanjirou wasn't sure how many times he had repeated that in his heart, maybe he just didn't want Zenitsu to leave.

"And that… _Family_ of mine," Zenitsu had barely gave the tea a glance. He seemed to be staring at something, but Tanjirou wasn't sure what exactly was he looking at. "I'll be… Meeting the others. Part of the family, I mean."

Nezuko prepared him a lunch box for his departure. When she gave the box to him, Zenitsu had smiled smally, accepting it with gratitude.

"Every week, send us a crow, alright?" Zenitsu had paused at those words, staring at Nezuko with wide eyes.

Smiling a bit brighter, he nodded. "I'll send a crow every day!"

He wasn't able to, but he managed to send one every two days.

* * *

Tanjirou would sometimes have these dreams. They weren't nightmares- he wouldn't say they were- but they... Well, they were just a tad bit unnerving.

Gazing up at the wooden ceiling, Tanjirou sighed at the darkened room. The sun was barely up, so were the bird and the insects that live within the forest. Getting out of his futon, he slid open the door leading to the halls. The estate was much larger in comparison to his and Nezuko's old house, it was something he could probably never get used to.

Finding himself at the kitchen, he reached out for a cup. Since he was probably not going to go back to sleep soon, maybe he could get some things ready before the day begins.

Tanjirou stared at the floor, barely registering the glass shards scattered on the wooden planks.

Ah… He dropped the cup.

"Big brother?" Jumping at the sound of Nezuko's voice, Tanjirou quickly turned around, his hand almost whacking the water jug off the table.

"Ah-ye-uh," he cleared his throat, pushing the jug away from the edge of the counter. "Nezuko, is there something wrong? You're up... Erm… Early."

Nezuko was giving him a rather deadpan look.

Placing her lantern on the table, she made her way to the counter and took out a broom. Setting the newspaper on the floor, the siblings quickly cleaned up the glass shards. Nezuko was quick and careful, occasionally pulling strands of long hair back behind an ear. Tanjirou frowned. The tips of his fingers were cold. Rubbing his hands together, Nezuko blinked at him.

Placing the broom aside, Nezuko took his hands into her own. Her hands, they were warm.

In a way, the silence was choking. Soon, after a few, the birds would start chirping, right?

It was only the two of them, the two of them living together in this humongous and spacious estate in the middle of the mountains.

… Wouldn't it make more sense, if the rest of their family was here?

"Don't apologize," Nezuko whispered. Tanjirou's breathing hitched, his younger sister frowning in response.

"We're here, you and I both know it," she looked up, soft, pink eyes meeting burgundy. "I visited Mister Urokodaki, he is doing well. I also learned a thing or two about the Water Breath, as well as observing the breathing of other people…

"To be honest? I still can't believe it. After all that happened… I sometimes wonder. Am I really human, now? This is not a dream? Was I ever a demon, in the first place? I think about everyone- Zenitsu, Inosuke," she choked up, "Mister Giyuu. It's just… Surreal."

Falling into silence, Tanjirou could distantly hear the clock clicking at the wall.

Nezuko looked up.

Her eyes were very pink, and Tanjirou remembered them from his dreams. He remembered how her pupils were in slits, marks like leaves swirling on her skin.

"Big brother?"

Tanjirou replied. "Yes, Nezuko?"

"Thank you."

… Thank you.

A simple phrase, words that could be shallow or deep. Nea talked about it once, how humans were such fickle creatures.

In times of survival, the first priority for people was to live and turn stronger. But in times of peace, priorities changed and dying became the last thought within the list of worst case scenarios.

_But aren't you human, as well?_

Pausing, Nea had laughed.

_That friend of yours would wonder as well._

Closing his eyes, Tanjirou nodded.

It still hurt, actually. Every scar on his body, sometimes they would ache. His body was pulsing with blood, and it felt like he could still fight. Two-three-four years ago, no matter where or when, they would be training. All of them. There was an actual need to turn stronger, and it motivated them.

But now?

It was peaceful.

They should be happy now, right? They really should be.

Tanjirou wanted to believe that on the bottom of his heart.

There was no need to fight.

There was no need to fight.

There was no need to fight anymore.

"Nezuko. Thank you, too."

… After all they've been through, they were still here.

Cleaning up the rest of the glass, they quickly went back to bed.

* * *

The next time Zenitsu visited, it was as if things went back to normal. The odd silence between the Fire and Lightning Pillars was nonexistent, and Tanjirou had to hold his breath.

"Tanjirou~ It was so scary! A bunch of bandits suddenly came out of nowhere in the middle of the night and scared the hell out of me- _I thought I was going to die it was crazy!_"

Tanjirou stared at his blonde friend.

He stared.

And stared.

And after a few seconds, the Fire Pillar chuckled, laughing softly as Zenitsu grimaced, pulling on a tuft of burgundy hair.

"Hey. What's with that. Don't chuckle at me, what the heck. You're so mean."

Tanjirou smiled, shaking his head as he tried to get Zenitsu's hand untangled from his hair. "No, I mean, it has been some time now. It's good to see you so well!"

Zenitsu deadpanned at him.

"Well? _Well_?! Are you crazy! I'm absolutely ninety nine point nine percent _not _well!"

"Zenitsu, would you like some fruits?" At the sound of Nezuko's voice, Zenitsu immediately swooned and turned around, a stupid smile on his face.

"Nezuko! Yes, I'll like some, please!"

They ate some peaches, and Tanjirou couldn't help but laugh again. Inosuke and Kanao had came by, the Beast Pillar nearly snatching all of the peaches away to Zenitsu's dismay. Laughing, tears might have leaked from his eyes as Tanjirou tried to wipe them away-

It was bliss to be with his friends. Without noticing, a burden that was on his shoulders was lifted. Tanjirou felt relieved, relieved and happy.

With Nea's constant visits, his friends' and family's endearing smiles...

Things were really going to be fine.

* * *

Zenitsu ventured to many countries, he wrote all about them in his letters. Nezuko had a smile on her face as she read each and one of them, carefully organizing them into neat piles. The Kamado siblings would take turns reading them out loud, as their friend's stories were always so interesting and funny.

Over the year, the number of letters received were astounding. Eventually, their dear friend would only write once a week, his visits also becoming less and less frequent. It was alright, however, as his letters became something they look forward to as the days passed by. Even though life was peaceful, sometimes, it would still darken. Lives were bound to end, after all. The recent typhoon had hit hard, everyone was affected by it. Zenitsu's letters gave them a reason to smile.

Tanjirou thought about the past.

They used to get up to run laps, carrying heavy boulders over their shoulders. Everyone trained together under the sun, Mister Himejima and the other Pillars offering helpful advice. Inosuke probably still continued, however, even though there wasn't any need to. He still fought with other creatures, as it was his drive. He never stopped fighting.

Tanjirou stared at his calloused hands. Closing them, he stood up and began swinging his sword.

He swung his sword a thousand times a day. It doesn't compare to the past, so he sometimes add another five hundred to his swings. Even though he was not a demon slayer anymore, Tanjirou was still a swordsman.

A swordsman, a humble coal burner, and Nezuko's older brother. He still brought his sword everywhere- it was like a lucky charm. Rengoku's sword guard and Kotetsu's gift, he wouldn't want to part with it.

"Caw! Caw! A letter! Caw!"

Gazing upwards, Tanjirou smiled as he untied the envelope from the crow, the bird perching on his shoulder.

The sun had begun to set, and at the back of his mind, Tanjirou realized he hadn't heard from Nea and Mana for a while. They should be coming by soon, no?

Nodding to himself, the next day, he should go buy some fish and vegetables. A nice meal would be good! Judging by the smell of the air, a rainstorm might come around this area. He and Nezuko better prepare for it, in case if anything would happen.

Tucking the letter away, Tanjirou made his way back to the estate.

He would never have thought that his continued training would serve as an aid to the years that would soon come by.

"In a foreign country, there is something called the _Banshee_," Nezuko read, gentle hands holding the paper under a light. "They're harbingers of death, weeping for those who are about to die. Some people say that they're fairies, others say that they were sinners…

"Apparently, the _Banshees _would sing a beautiful and sorrowful song for the family before one of the members passed away. They sing with love and concern… Then again, some say that they scream instead."

Tanjirou hummed at that, stitching his checkered _haori _with careful steps. He was starting to grow out of it, sadly.

Placing the cloth down, the elder Kamado quickly put the needle and thread away. "A beautiful and sorrowful song, huh… Almost like a lullaby."

Nezuko nodded. "Yeah, like a lullaby. A lullaby for those who will soon die."

Just as he was growing out of his _haori_, Tanjirou's hair was also getting longer. He would cut it one day, eventually, but for now he kept it in a small ponytail (like the past- like the _before_-).

His younger sister combed down her hair, long strands of black falling to her back. Getting ready for bed, they said "goodnight" to each other, tucking into their respective futons.

In the past, the entire Kamado family would sleep in the same room. It was very crowded, but when it was cold, it was rather warm- at least in their hearts. Tanjirou recalled how their father woke him up that winter's night, the snow blinding white on the ground. A bear that couldn't hibernate was eating people, and his father had hacked off its head with two clean strikes.

The see-through world, Tanjirou remembered. He remembered his sword cutting Akaza's neck clean when he saw the world.

Closing his eyes, he fell asleep.

…

He was dreaming.

Zenitsu had gotten him a gift, learning that he wasn't sleeping well recently. Nezuko probably told him that, the two of them were close.

The key had resembled a fairy, much like the _Banshees _written in Zenitsu's letter. Tanjirou wondered how the "silent music box" Zenitsu had talked about sounded like. It was a curious thing.

Holding the figure close, Tanjirou dreamt of burning charcoal and falling snow. Father and Mother and all his younger siblings were there.

He dreamt of charcoal, and…

Tanjirou slept a bit better, that night.

* * *

Walking down the dirt road, the Fire Pillar breathed in the fresh air. The skies were swirling grey, but it wouldn't be raining soon, he could tell. Bamboo basket on his back and sword tucked at his side, Tanjirou made his way to town. Charcoal was made and readied, hopefully he could trade some things for the week!

Taking another step forward, it should take another fifteen minutes before reaching the village. Humming to himself, Tanjirou continued. Nezuko was checking for any problems in the house. Typhoons were horrible, they had to make sure they were ready.

A simple fish dish for today… Steamed vegetables. Tanjirou should try learning how to make tempera, one day. Inosuke would be so happy.

Blinking, Tanjirou slowed down. Eventually, he stopped altogether in his tracks.

"... Zenitsu?"

Bright, yellow _haori_. Tanjirou could recognize it from anywhere. Zenitsu was back- he hadn't came by for months (like Mana, like _Nea-_).

"Zenitsu! It has been so long..."

The smell.

Tanjirou nearly paused, but he pushed forward, placing a gentle hand on his friend's shoulder. "Zenitsu...? Is everything alright? You don't look well, have you been resting?"

"...jirou," Zenitsu's voice was so small. Tanjirou frowned.

"Zenitsu?"

"Let go."

Tanjirou paused.

"Eh?"

"Let go."

Tanjirou slowly lifted his hand, letting go of Zenitsu's shoulder.

Silence enveloped the surrounding area, and Tanjirou couldn't help but feel a bit nervous. Zenitsu was still, he barely moved. The taller had to make sure he was actually breathing.

He was, so that was a relief, but Tanjirou was still worried. The bad feeling was back. Tanjirou felt horrible.

"Zenitsu…?" Something was bothering his friend, Zenitsu was in distraught. His face didn't show it, but Tanjirou could tell! He wanted to help his friend.

(A sickening feeling stirred in his gut. It was back. The cooling silence, it was back. Tanjirou didn't like it, he never liked it-)

The air was cold, and Zenitsu was unhealthily pale. He was shivering- Tanjirou noticed. Putting down the bamboo basket, Tanjirou quickly took off his _haori_.

"Zenitsu, here," before he could get near enough, blazing gold suddenly snapped up.

"Don't even get _near _me with that sword of yours!" Zenitsu lashed out, the Fire Pillar flinching from his sudden outburst.

_Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. _Tanjirou nearly gagged at the smell, his chest tightening as he tried to catch his breath.

_Calm down, calm down. Zenitsu doesn't mean it, he doesn't-_

_Horror._

Tanjirou stared at Zenitsu. His friend's eyes were wide, a look of shock (he shouldn't be looking like that) and guilt (his friend really shouldn't be feeling that way) on his face.

The world was quiet, and taking in a shaky breath, Zenitsu closed his hands into small fists. He was still shivering, teeth clenched and-

"Run."

Tanjirou had to do a double take.

"... What?"

Zenitsu shook his head. The smell he was giving off was mixed with sadness and panic.

"Get away from here. Just grab Nezuko and run, anywhere _but _here."

"I don't get it, Zenitsu-"

"Please," his eyes weren't brown. Tanjirou just realized that. They were in a molten gold, distantly reminding the Fire Pillar of Nea and Mana's amber.

"... Tanjirou?" Zenitsu's voice was very small. So small, it was nearly breaking, shattering. It hurt to hear him like this, it really did.

"Am I still a demon slayer?"

Tanjirou stared at him.

_Despair. _

_Despair. Despair. Despair. Despair. Regret-_

"Of course," he choked out.

"You're a demon slayer. You're mine and Nezuko's and Inosuke's and Murata's friend. You're the Lightning Pillar, user of the Lightning Breath. You're a demon slayer, Zenitsu. No matter how much time has passed and how many things have changed, you're a demon slayer."

Zenitsu was always quick to cry. Since the day they first met, Zenitsu had always clung on, his cries boisterous and loud as he begged to stay with the girls at the Butterfly Estate.

There weren't any tears that day.

"You're too kind, Tanjirou," Zenitsu whispered. A scent of sad gratitude reached Tanjirou's nose.

What happened? What happened to his friend, when Tanjirou wasn't there? When _no one_ was there?

What on earth happened?

Zenitsu smiled. It was a soft and exhausted smile.

_Regret._

_Sadness._

_Regret._

_Regret._

_Resignation._

_Regret._

_..._

_Conviction._

"Thank you."

Inosuke was the one who found Zenitsu's body. On his way from one village to the next, he stumbled upon a familiar, bloodied figure.

Zenitsu's hair was black, slowly bleeding back to yellow. The scars on his head had vanished- yellow _haori _stained with red. His sparrow companion was standing on the ground beside his corpse. The little bird was staring, unmoving.

_Shaken._

He was killed. They buried him.

The clouds were swirling in the skies above them, a storm was about to arrive.

Something changed, and things were no longer fine.

* * *

"What is bothering you?" The Fire Pillar had asked. Nea was gazing at the scenery, a distant look on his face. Shrugging, he gave something akin to a smirk to his friend.

"... A stupid quarrel between siblings, that's what. It's nothing to worry about, though. Don't concern yourself with it."

Blinking, Tanjirou frowned.

"I don't think it's stupid. As an elder brother, I understand."

Nea stared at him. There was something in his eyes, something that Tanjirou couldn't place his finger on. What was it?

Looking away, he laughed again. It sounded a bit pained. As an elder brother, Tanjirou noticed.

"Bye, Tanjirou."

He never visited again.

* * *

**Thank you for reading! I read all of your reviews, thank you very much! Please have a nice day!**

**ko.**


	16. Go

**16\. Go**

The funeral was eerily quiet.

It was only drizzling, and it was silent. Tanjirou nearly forgot that Zenitsu didn't have a lot of friends; he barely spoke to people aside from close friends.

A lonely person, he realized. No, he realized too late.

The Fire Pillar was unsettled by the fact he couldn't and didn't know how to contact his friend's "family." Thinking about it, it was always Mana and Nea who visited _them_, and not the other way around. The crow he sent to the Ubuyashiki's hadn't return yet as well, and many friends didn't come. It was only the girls from the Butterfly Estate, Murata, Inosuke, and the Kamado siblings.

A raindrop hit his nose. Tanjirou stared at the gravestone.

The rain was only drizzling.

* * *

Life could fall due to disease, they all learned that from Giyuu. Natural disasters could strike, and there was always a possibility that family and friends could be lost. Yet this was different, and the expression on Inosuke's unmasked face proved it.

Zenitsu was killed.

He was _killed_.

No swordsman could just get _killed _like that, especially not one like _Zenitsu_.

In the room next to his, Nezuko was reorganizing the letters. She had been for a long time, the paper scattered on the floor. Eyes rimmed with red, both Kamado siblings recalled the death that smeared their life with blood and tears.

(Mother. Takeo. Shigeru. Hanako. Rokuta. _Rengoku_.)

An ambush? Bandits? It couldn't be a wild animal, definitely not a bear. Inosuke had stumbled upon him on the road between two villages, a _dirt path that was out in the open_. It was impossible for it to be an ambush. Not to mention Zenitsu's injury-

It was only a stab through the torso.

Tanjirou's hand twitched. He sat in _seiza_, his sword set on the floor before him.

Rengoku's sword guard stared back at him.

_Run, _Zenitsu had said.

_Get away from here._

_Anywhere but here._

Grabbing his sword, Tanjirou stood in front of Nezuko's door. A faint fragrance of lemon reached his nose- it had always lingered.

"I'll be back."

The Fire Pillar departed.

* * *

The rain had washed away any smell. If Tanjirou's senses was stronger, he could still catch something, however. Taking a deep breath, he set the whining ache in his throat away.

He searched.

The place where Inosuke found the body, routes that led up to that place- he searched them all. There was this whiff of something, and the Fire Pillar gritted his teeth.

It happened too suddenly- no, too abruptly. He should've known, he really should. The smell was so sad, and Tanjirou felt this bad feeling crawling up his skin. He was sure that the others felt it as well. Holding the hilt of his sword tightly, he mustered up strength.

_When did things go wrong? How did I not notice?_

The pathway was muddy, a little frog hopping into the wildflowers. There were no signs of fight.

Tanjirou choked, rain covering trails of tears.

He searched.

He searched. He searched. He searched. He searched again and again.

Tanjirou kept searching, but in the end, he couldn't find a single thing.

_To Mister Giyuu._

Stumbling to his teacher's old house at the foot of the mountain, Tanjirou leaned by the tree near Giyuu's grave.

_Things are going so wrong. I'm so sorry, I don't know what is happening anymore- it's just too confusing. What is going on? What is happening?_

_Why is this happening?_

Burying his face into his hands, Tanjirou's shoulders shook.

It was wrong. He shouldn't be here. He should be getting back to Nezuko, making sure that she was alright- he was the eldest son, after all. Kamado Tanjirou was the eldest son, first son of Kamado Tanjuro and Kie, Nezuko's older brother, Fire Pillar of the Demon Killing Corps-

_Am I still a demon slayer?_

Zenitsu's fading silhouette. Soft eyes that lacked light.

_But aren't you human as well, Nea?_

_That friend of yours wonder as well._

Tanjirou remembered the soft and pained look on Nea's face, the teen shaking his head with a laugh. He remembered the receding shadow, walking away as a beautiful gate formed within the depths of the forest. The Ark.

That smell.

That smell.

That one, aching smell.

A child's small silhouette. Mana gazing down from the other side of Giyuu's grave. The moon hanging in the skies, the cool and quiet night.

_That smell._

"Tanjirou," Urokodaki was by the doorway. Even though he had his _tengu _mask over his face, Tanjirou could tell he was frowning.

"... Mister Urokodaki," he really wanted to cry. It was frustrating, so frustrating- but he knew, and Urokodaki also knew.

Urokodaki was the former Water Pillar. He was Giyuu and Tanjirou and Nezuko's teacher. He fought longer than the three of them combined, he was Urokodaki.

He said one word.

"Go."

Tanjirou stood up.

The Demon Killing Corps was in danger. His friends and family was in danger. A new threat was born, despite them thinking that all the danger that forced them to move was gone. Nea's strange demeanor, the Cambell siblings- _Zenitsu's family never visiting again_. Something was _happening_ and Tanjirou _felt it_-

He had to go help.

_Inform the Pillars. Inform Kiriya._

_Get us back together!_

A scent. Tanjirou paused, stopping in his tracks. He was on his way to the Ubuyashiki Manor, passing through a town. The air was damp, the skies cloudy grey. There were very few people on the streets, strange dreariness hovering over the small village. It was quiet.

"... Mister Sanemi?" He tried, gazing wearily at the alleyway.

_Step…_

_Step…_

_Step._

"... Brat."

The Wind Pillar had a very sad smell, Tanjirou remembered. Ever since Genya… Tanjirou understood his pain, for he was an elder brother as well. The typhoon months ago had hit too hard.

_But why did something feel so wrong?_

_What is that other scent? _

He hadn't saw many of them for a long time. Everyone was busy, and… Tanjirou frowned.

Aside from the Butterfly Estate and a few selective others, no one came to the... Funeral.

"... Mister Sanemi, it's an emergency. We need to get to the headquarters- I need to tell Kiriya something, but the crows aren't around-"

"... Tanjirou."

A deep, red fragrance.

Blood.

And something else.

Behind Sanemi, he was dragging something by the hair. It was… Bloody. A dark red was bleeding into the ground.

Black stars.

_Crack_.

_Crack_.

Snap.

_Oh._

Tanjirou realized, the sword by his waist growing heavy by the second.

That wasn't Sanemi.

That wasn't Sanemi at all.

A shadow loomed over him. There was something by his head- it looked like a cannon- it was pointing straight at his face.

The Fire Pillar sucked in a breath, sword drawn-

There were no bodies, only tattered clothes. Rain drenched the world, and he stared at his hands. His hands were shaking. They were trembling. Tanjirou stood in a bloodbath.

_Even the Pillars- even-_

Then what of the Ubuyashiki House?

A sudden realization hit him.

_Oh no._

* * *

Monsters.

There were monsters.

They came out of nowhere, taking the form of friends and family. Devils that wore the skin of innocent lambs. Something _clicked_, and Tanjirou recalled what Nea said once, during a conversation under the setting sun.

_Do you know about the Dark Matter?_

A younger Mana smiled softly at him, a gentle look in amber eyes-

Tanjirou stood before the courtyard of the Ubuyashiki. The first time he had been there, he had been on trial with Nezuko. It was his first encounter with all of the Pillars, and it was one of the most scariest moments of his life. But then- there was a letter. A letter from Urokodaki was read, and the Oyakata saved their lives. His voice was very kind, the voice of Ubuyashiki Kagaya.

...

There was blood on the ground.

The children were gone. The master- Kiriya, vanished. They were nowhere to be seen. He couldn't find any of them. Only traces of sorrow and anguish remained- beautiful kimono. One of them died, the other turned into a monster. The last one was missing- dead, he knew.

How did he not catch this?

How did he not notice this horror?

The Ubuyashiki's courtyard was littered with dead crows. For a moment, Tanjirou could compare this horrid scene before him to a child's play, or demons messing around with human corpses. It was disturbing, so, so disturbing. The blood smelled of heavy iron, it had been like this for _days_.

A red stained letter was tied onto one of the bird's feet. The Pillar bent down, eyes wide and-

_Master Kiriya,_

_I am very sorry to bring you this news. The Lightning Pillar, Agatsuma Zenitsu, has-_

Feet dragged through the mud. Rain hit his back, and he refrained himself from closing his eyes. His legs were burning, his muscles _screaming- _Tanjirou felt his entire body trembling. It was hard to breathe-

Rattled. He was rattled, feet dragging behind him as he found himself before his estate.

His beautiful, peaceful estate. The estate that was gifted to him and his sister by the _kakushi_. It was dyed in the color of blood because of the sunset. How horrible, the color of the sun- it was horrible.

Sliding open the doors, Tanjirou fell onto his knees. His sheathed sword hit the wood by his feet. He couldn't move.

"Brother," Nezuko was by his side. She was worried, extremely worried. Her eyes were still a bit red from tears, she had been crying in secret. It made his heart ache. The letters, they were still scattered, white covering the wooden floor. It made his heart ache so much-

"Nezuko," he tried to say. Their eyes met, and-

She had worked so hard. Nezuko had, everyone did. For that reason, they defeated Kibutsuji Muzan. They defeated Kibutsuji Muzan, and Nezuko turned back human.

_But it wasn't over_.

Nezuko furrowed her eyebrows, lips pursed.

She nodded.

…

Tanjirou wanted to cry.

It was supposed to be over, it really was! His entire family got killed, Nezuko was turned into a demon- Rengoku's death. Shinobu's death. _Every life that had been lost to the demons, every tear that had been dropped from their hearts._

It was supposed to be over.

"Big brother," Nezuko's voice was strong. Her voice sounded so strong, but Tanjirou knew she was also sad. His little sister was hurting as well.

"Let's go."

Tanjirou nodded, eyes watering and the world swirling- "Yeah," he breathed out, shaking. "Yeah. Let's go."

They first searched for Inosuke.

Finding their friend, they bumped into Kanao and then Murata.

They quickly gathered the girls from the Butterfly Estate- Aoi was trembling but Kanao took her hand firmly. She never let go.

They found Uzui and his wives, a stern expression on the former Pillar's face. He grabbed for his weapon, his wives gathering their equipment.

Then it was Obanai. Kanroji.

Senjuro, Senjuro's father.

Goto, he had dragged them to the swordsmith's village, quickly pulling everyone along.

… The demons were gone. The demons were gone, but these monsters had quickly replaced them within the span of four years. It was four years after Kibutsuji Muzan was defeated did these _bakemono _appear. _Bakemono, _monster_. _No more demons, _oni_, but instead _bakemono_.

They had strong shells as armor, a grinning face spilled with black tears. They wore the skin of humans, but unlike the demons, they were fully monsters. Those _bakemono _were raging, they were killing indiscriminately without care in the world. Defending village after village, everyone tried to keep the tragedy at bay. The thought of Nea and Mana had quickly left Tanjirou's mind- there was no time to ponder upon unanswerable concerns.

The Demon Killing Corps were back. The stored away uniforms were finally worn again. Clad in black, they carried the character _metsu _on their backs.

Tanjirou's sword held the same word.

During this meaningless journey that lasted for five years, Kanroji had one day broke out crying. Her heart was aching for all who suffer to this day, the building frustration of the inability to save another catching up too quickly. Everyone was tired, _too _tired.

_Please._

They begged the heavens.

_Don't let this be a cycle. I'm so sorry. This time, let us be able to end this cycle of tragedy._

_Let this be the last time we don this uniform. I beg of you._

Tanjirou gazed up to the skies, a humming ache in his chest.

A raindrop might had hit his nose.

* * *

**The flashback arc will end soon, thank you for reading! Please have a nice day!  
**

**ko.**

**(Bakemono: **化け物;a class of youkai. Means "a thing that changes," referring to a state of transformation or shapeshifting. In short, they are shapeshifting monsters. **Oni**: 鬼; ogres/trolls in Japanese folklore. An old origin for the term means "to hide or conceal," it also holds the meaning of "a spirit of the dead." **Metsu: **滅; destruction, extinction. To extinguish.**)**


	17. Doing Your Best

**17\. Doing Your Best**

"Hey… Tanjirou? I don't... I actually don't really trust them, those two brothers..." Genya's voice was small, a growing frown stuck on his face. The smell he gave off was one with anxiety and uncertainty, he wasn't sure if he should continue.

Tanjirou hummed, wind breezing against the glass chimes hanging above their heads. "Nea and Mana, right? Well... I know that they're trustworthy people, the two of them both. They helped Zenitsu, after all, and... They don't lie. They're noble."

Pausing, he turned to his friend with a small smile. "But I still want to hear what you think, Genya. Is it alright if you tell me why?"

The look on Genya's face was one close to tears. A scent of genuine gratitude rushed up to Tanjirou, and he couldn't help but want to widen his smile. Tanjirou trusted the Cambell brothers, and he knew that this trust was real, not feigned. That, and Genya was one of his closest friends. He was bothered by something, there wouldn't be no reason why he felt that way, right?

So Genya spoke, Tanjirou patting his back as he listened carefully. They were sitting at the porch, watching as the dawn broke.

A few months later, the younger Shinazugawa passed away. A typhoon had hit the mountain Genya was traveling at, and a landslide came crashing down. He was buried alive.

The news was heartbreaking, the letter crinkling in Tanjirou's hands as he read it again.

There were no demons, no danger, and the unknown illness case had been solved. No one was supposed to die, no one was supposed to go like that.

Yet Genya did.

Tanjirou woke up with a start, body half covered by the blanket. The cloth was wearing out. He ought to stitch it again later.

Staring up at the dusty wooden ceiling, Tanjirou took in a shuddering breath. His heart was beating too fast, he got to slow it down.

The room was very dark and cold, the wood suffering cracks and holes from old age. On hindsight, the building was already barely holding on, but at the same time, it was the only shelter around the vicinity. They had to make do with what they had.

Just barely, Tanjirou could hear the deep breathing belonging to the others around him. It was really crowded, as everyone was here, futons out and just like ho_me-_

Tanjirou stared at the ceiling.

Struggling to sit up, the floor creaked beneath him and he found his back still on the ground, unmoving.

… _Get up_.

He continued to stare at the ceiling.

_Get up_.

His body wouldn't budge.

_Get up._

_Get up._

_Get up-_

"Big brother…?" Nezuko rubbed her eye, slowing getting up from her futon. Tanjirou stared at her, burgundy eyes wide.

_No, no, Nezuko. You should be sleeping- it's still dark out, and tomorrow will be a long day-_

"... Brother," the look in Nezuko's eyes were soft. Crawling over to Tanjirou's side, she pulled out a piece of cloth, lightly dabbing his cheeks. Oh, he was crying.

How pathetic. He felt his breathing hitch.

… Nezuko probably noticed it. Of course she did. She had been paying attention to everyone's breathing, after all, and Urokodaki had taught her how during his spare time, back when the days were more peaceful and-

A gentle hand was placed over his forehead. Tanjirou stared at her, and Nezuko smiled back.

… She looked so much like Mother.

"Go back to bed, alright? I'll be right here, so it's going to be fine."

Hand twitching, he slowly reached up and clutched her hand.

It was so warm.

Nezuko hummed a lullaby. It was a quiet, gentle song, one about a rabbit with red eyes. Lulling back to sleep, Tanjirou let the warmth sink in, and...

The day came in quickly. It was time to move on.

* * *

The sun was blazing. On the road, everyone tried to hide among the shadows cast by the trees.

"There has been sightings of," Murata paused, grimacing, "_demons_, around the northern parts. If we keep going at this pace, we should be able to get there by sunset."

Tanjirou nodded, wiping away sweat with the back of his hand.

Demons… But they were not demons. The monster that took over Sanemi was definitely _not _a _demon_\- not the one they were so familiar with. Tanjirou knew, and he knew that everyone understood, too. The smell was simply different. Its sheer presence wasn't the same.

It wasn't a demon. It was a _monster_.

(But it smelled like Geny-)

Shaking his head, Tanjirou pulled out some water, taking a quick sip. It was noon, the time when the temperature was the highest. Eyes meeting Uzui's, he nodded.

Uzui's wives quickly prepared food, others helped as well. Supplies were scarce on a journey, very scarce. All remaining demon slayers were here, a little more than fifty people. At least, Tanjirou hoped it wasn't. There had been at least two hundred of them left after the defeat of Muzan...

When the Ubuyashiki House fell, so did the backbone of the Demon Killing Corps. Everything went hectic during that period of time- but it didn't last long. The confusion didn't last long, for the _kakushi _was there. It was thanks to the _kakushi_'s superb organization that they managed to gather everyone on Tanjirou's request.

Even though the Ubuyashiki House had fallen, the late former head's influence remained strong. The Oyakata was still watching over them. Master Kagaya.

… They had to stay strong.

Tanjirou found a rice ball in his hands, the Fire Pillar jumping in surprise. Looking up, his eyes met Inosuke's. He quickly smiled.

"Thank you."

Inosuke nodded curtly, plopping down beside him. Taking off his head piece, he scarfed down his food with two bites.

"... Konpachirou, it has the thing you like inside. Eat."

Tanjirou blinked. Staring down at his rice ball, he looked back to Inosuke.

Tanjirou found himself smiling again, this time softer. "Thank you."

* * *

"Eating is important, Tanjirou. It is something you can only do when you're alive. When I was still his student, Rengoku told me that before. He was my teacher, you see."

Kanroji had sat beside him, two freshly made bowls of food in her hands. Lime green looked at him softly as she offered him one bowl.

Tanjirou knew that. He knew that to the bottom of his heart, but sometimes, eating was difficult.

So when Inosuke offered him the rice ball, Tanjirou was very touched.

_Thank you_, he would say that again and again, no matter how many times it would take- but in the end, his appetite would probably never come back.

Everything tasted so bland. The rice, vegetables, and meat- they all tasted like ashes the moment it touched his tongue- it was horrible. And- and, most importantly, Tanjirou couldn't understand why. It wasn't like this when his family was massacred, it wasn't like this when blood was shed, demons were slayed, and friends passing away. It wasn't like this, never!

"Eat," Inosuke had said.

"Eat, please," Nezuko had said.

"Tanjirou," Kiyo tugged on his sleeve, her smell growing with worry-

The food Kanroji offered him smelled good, but Tanjirou couldn't register it. He just couldn't, and Obanai stood at the side, a concerned look visible on his half covered face.

"I'm alright, you guys eat first," he tried to explain.

"Tanjirou, please eat," Senjuro's voice was very timid, his shoulders were shaking.

"You've got to get something in your stomach, kid," Rengoku, Senjuro's father, had said tiredly. "You can't just run on water. You won't last."

Tanjirou tried, he really did. He took a bite of rice, trying to swallow down the tiny morsel of food. But then something suddenly started burning in his stomach, and he ended up throwing it all up, throat and eyes searing.

He just couldn't eat.

It was too hard.

This went on for weeks and weeks, ever since the instance his sword ran across Sanem- the monster's body, all under the drizzling rain.

It could be because of that, Tanjirou thought to himself. It could be.

But he would never let it drag him down.

_Never_.

The sun was slowly going dipping into the horizon, a gentle gust of wind brushing by. Inosuke stood right by his side, dual swords held tightly in his hands.

"We'll get those monsters. We'll get them together."

Tanjirou nodded. They were nearing the town, and any moment now-

A scream, everyone flinched.

There was smoke.

_A demon._

_The monster-_

_It's here._

_It's here._

_It's here!_

Sucking in a breath, Tanjirou leaped forward.

Everyone followed suit.

* * *

"Evacuate the civilians! Keep the damage to the minimum!" Uzui's voice ran across the town. There was panic taking root within each of their hearts, but the former Sound Pillar quickly shoved it away.

It was crazy. There were explosions and dust everywhere- crazier than the day with Sane- Tanjirou shook his head.

_Where was the monster. Where was it?_

He breathed deeply, sending oxygen to the very tip of his fingers-

_Grief._

_Metal._

_Anguish._

_Death._

_Terror._

_Metal._

_Metal._

_Metal!_

His eyes widened.

_That stench!_

Tanjirou dashed forward, sword drawn and readied. "It's over there! There's only one of them!"

It was okay. They had many demons slayers here, and everyone was strong. They all trained, after all. Even after Kibutsuji Muzan, no one had slacked off. Rather, no one dared to. It was fine.

_Leave the rest to the others, fight the monster._

"Where is it, Monchirou?!"

"Keep going! It's right ahead, it should be!"

The buildings were wrecked. There was a crying child, hands clutching on the edge of her clothes. Murata immediately went to scoop her up, a chunk of rock crashing down where she had stood.

"Go!" Murata yelled. There were cuts running across his face. Tanjirou nodded, the Full Concentration Breath in use.

Wreckage after wreckage, debris after debris. The world shook, tremors running through the earth and land-

Finally, a shadow loomed over them, and they looked up.

"... What?" He heard Inosuke said.

Suddenly, Tanjirou found himself against the wall of a wrecked building, splinters of wood sinking into his left shoulder.

_Huh?_

_Wait- how did I- ow, it hurts, wait what-_

"Tanjirou!" Inosuke's voice. Tanjirou quickly looked up, a sharp pain piercing his side- a rib, he broke a rib- and burgundy met wide emerald.

Inosuke's head piece, it was gone. The boar mask suddenly broke part, black stars scattered on its fur as Inosuke's eyes widened.

Turning on his feet, there was no hesitation. Inosuke _jumped_, swords baring like fangs as he swung _down_, the blades ramming against the shell of the monster and-

They snapped.

Inosuke stared ahead.

_Crunch._

Tanjirou felt his heart drop.

Grabbing onto his sword, he pushed himself forward. Splinters of wood were digging into his flesh, but Tanjirou didn't flinch. Pain was white and he couldn't feel anything.

It hurt.

It didn't.

It was cold.

It wasn't.

Screaming, he plunged his sword forward, the blackened blade sinking to the monster's shell. It hardly had any resistance, cutting through like tofu as metal creaked, sparks flying about.

It exploded, poisoned dust scattered in the air.

_Freedom._

_Releasement._

_Woe._

_Gratitude._

Red blood was behind him, Inosuke lying limp on the ground.

_Thankfulness._

_Thankfulness._

_Freedom._

_Woe._

_Grief._

_Thankfulness._

...

Tanjirou cried.

* * *

The child Murata was holding turned out to be a monster, as well. In their makeshift shelter, filled with evacuated civilians and injured folks, the girl suddenly shifted and towered over them.

Ten demon slayers fell and half of the civilians were killed. Their bodies had shattered into something akin to charcoal, strange black stars forming on their skin-

_Blood Demon Art?_

_But no, these monsters weren't demons!_

_What was happening? Why aren't our swords working?!_

_They're _nichirin _swords!_

Dragging his feet along, a long trail of blood followed the young Pillar.

"Everyone! Take cover, run!"

"Take your stand, don't let it run amok! Use your breath, _go_!"

"Get the injured out of here!"

"Demon slayers, _hurry_!"

_Dance of the fire god._

Flames flickered and died. Tanjirou found his blade stuck through the monster, sliding down as it was sliced in half.

"... Don't breathe in the smoke," he muttered, flicking his sword of the monster's blood.

For a moment, the world seemed to still. Everyone quickly obeyed, trying to pull things together in haste. The injured were to be checked on, those who can stand must help.

Tanjirou stood still.

"... Tanjirou, where is Inosuke?"

Nezuko's voice was shaking slightly. Her back was straight, so her voice was strong- but for some reason, her voice just seemed so far away. She was standing in front of him, dirt smeared on her face.

Just barely, Tanjirou shook on his feet. It hurt, it really did. So he gazed ahead, eyes hardened and blank.

"Other swords won't work. Only mine."

Something hit the ground. Aoi had dropped the bundle of blankets she was carrying.

It turned quiet.

So, so quiet.

Standing still, Tanjirou took a deep breath. He felt a hand touch his shoulder, Urokodaki was standing by his side. His red _tengu _mask seemed so old.

They were supposed to be happy.

Freed from disaster, freed from this horror.

They weren't.

Kibutsuji Muzan was gone, yet a new nightmare was born.

… So many people died. He saw the darkened dust, the faded black stars on the ground. The civilians looked so hurt, the smell was unbearable. So much pain, so much grief.

Once again, there was a thick wall in front of him, and-

_Live with your chest high._

_Set your heart ablaze._

_I believe in you and your sister._

_I really do._

...

"I will slay all of them."

Everyone stared at him.

Tightening his grip on his sword, Tanjirou continued.

"In the name of Kamado Tanjirou, Fire Pillar of the Demon Killing Corps, I will slay all of the monsters that lurk in Japan. _All of them_.

"I promise."

So that no tragedy would be born again.

So that every person here could have a chance to live with a smile on their face.

He would cut down despair, and no one would ever have to live with fear and dread.

No one.

… Nezuko never looked so heartbroken before. She was shaking her head, hair disheveled and-

Tanjirou closed his eyes.

A hand suddenly pushed him forward, and he barely looked back-

He caught a glimpse of a familiar yellow.

* * *

Town after town, village after village.

City after city.

It was endless.

Even though only Tanjirou could fight, they all stuck together in the end. Haganezuka made sure his sword was in top condition. Despite the fact that no other blade would work, the swordsmiths still made more for each member of the corps. It was better than nothing.

"Would it be possible… If somehow, we find the same material that was used… To make your sword?" Kanao was the first to mention it.

A thought to be considered. Tanjirou glanced down, staring at the _metsu _engraved on his blade.

"It could be possible," Kanamori muttered, frowning under his mask. "Perhaps the place it was mined from. Except, all of the alloys we used to forge the nichirin blades all from this one specific place. Unless it changed over the centuries, that is…"

"Nah," Haganezuka cut in, shaking his head. "It's just that sword. It's struck differently, and it gives off a completely out of the world feel. The blade's one of a kind."

Kanamori sighed, nodding sadly. "... You have a good point. Our village kept the records very well, especially regarding of where we get our materials. And despite all of that, we don't even know who forged that sword.

"There is more than one factor when it comes to forging a blade, not just the alloy."

Kanao frowned. "Is that so…"

Tanjirou quickly spoke up.

"Kanao, it's alright. Even though only this blade can cut through them, until we find another way, I'll hold on. It'll be…" Trailing off, Tanjirou paused at the look on the demon slayer's face.

... Ah.

She was angry. Really angry.

"Tanjirou," Kanao was sitting in _seiza_, her back straight and voice firm. "I am Tsuyuri Kanao, the Flower Pillar. As a fellow Pillar, a fellow _demon slayer_, I'm supposed to fight by your side. It isn't about who can do what, or who has the ability to do what… It has nothing to do with that, _ever_.

"We've been fighting alongside each other all this time, we've gone through this much together," hands gripping into fists, Kanao made a trembling smile. "Don't you see? The Demon Killing Corps still live."

It wasn't about who was able to do what.

They shared each other's burden, it had been always like that.

"Please remember. You're not alone. We're right by your side, right here," she pointed at the center of his chest. "And we will always be."

Tanjirou stared at her. He had nearly faltered, beads of sweat gathering at the back of his neck.

_Please don't leave, _he had thought.

_Not like Father, not like Mother. Takeo, Hanako, Shigeru, Rokuta. Not like Rengoku. Not like Giyuu. Not like Genya. Not like Zenitsu, Inosuke-_

Kanao felt the same way.

Kanae left too early, Shinobu strided too far ahead. The girls now all depended on her, and Kanao felt the same way.

She saw the world. She really did.

Swallowing, Tanjirou nodded.

"I'll remember. Thank you, Kanao."

Kanamori patted his back. Haganezuka patted his head.

Kotetsu came in and threw himself on Tanjirou- they laughed.

_It'll be okay_, Tanjirou was going to say. Now he knew for sure: it was really going to be alright. As long everyone stuck together, it was going to be fine.

Kanao died the next day, there was no body to bury.

Tanjirou began to understand the look in Nezuko's eyes, that day.

* * *

Murata.

Goto.

Kanroji.

Haganezuka.

Kotetsu, he left too young.

Rengoku died protecting his son.

The monsters were raging. They were killing indiscriminately. Defending village after village, they tried to keep the tragedy at bay.

The more time passed, the stranger the monsters looked. Sometimes they were smaller, perhaps skinnier, or even formless. The remaining survivors learned to not care, however.

Every cut vibrated in their bones, every slash and strike had rebounds.

It was dreadful, but they tried their best. They really did.

They all worked so hard.

"The dead is right by our side. They're watching over us, it'll be alright."

Just like Sabito, just like Makamo. Just like Rengoku, everyone.

They tried to find comfort from that. They prayed to the heavens, swallowing their sorrow-

_Ah..._

_When will this be over?_

_No, we have to keep going._

_If we give up, everyone's efforts would be in vain._

_Don't give up._

_Never give up._

_Don't ever give up!_

They tried to find reassurance from that. Gazing up to the world, they would tell the gods that they would not fail, that they would survive. For five years straight, that was all they ever did. Death followed closely behind them, and they continued to pray.

No matter the obstacles placed in their path, no matter the horrors they would face-

They would _live _and _survive_.

But the moment Tanjirou fell over and threw up, heaving and aching and coughing and less than a fourth of their original group left, Tanjirou knew.

Kamado Tanjuro, their father, died a similar way.

Dread.

So much dread.

He felt so sick, was he dying?

It was like this since Kibutsuji Muzan was gone- Kanroji said something similar. She sometimes felt a bit shaky, and once she even coughed out blood. She was twenty five, then. Giyuu, as well.

Maybe he was just going crazy- it might not be because of _that_. It was just a simple cold, he would get over it soon enough.

But… Tanjirou was nearing that age, wasn't he?

"Everyone is gone, they're keeping watch," Nezuko whispered quietly. "It's just you and me here."

And soon, it would just be Nezuko, wouldn't it?

Tanjirou was lying in his futon, body limp and abdomen aching. Despair. So much despair. He feared for what was to come, for his little sister's future and tomorrows- but the look on Nezuko's face stopped him.

Her eyes were stern.

Convicted, determined, along with the scent of unwavering confidence.

And at the same time, there was sadness.

"Please," she said. "Cheer me on."

Her smell.

Tanjirou wanted to shake his head. He wanted to tell her that it wasn't worth it- she shouldn't be facing such pain. She shouldn't be carrying this responsibility- _his _responsibility. They were supposed to be happy, happy that the demons were gone. Happy that they could finally live a peaceful, uneventful life-

He nodded.

"Nezuko, do your best."

Nezuko took his hand.

"Nezuko, I'll cheer you on. Please do your best."

He was crying.

"I will be watching over you. I will be watching over you! With everyone- I will!"

Nezuko nodded, silent tears dropping from her eyes.

"I'll cheer you on. I'll keep cheering you on. You can do it, I know you can!"

Tired, burgundy eyes met pink, and Nezuko smiled tearfully, her shoulders shaking as she replied.

"I'll do my best, big brother. I'll keep doing my best. For you, for everyone. I'll do my best."

No more apologies. No more regrets. From the very start, there was no one to be blamed in the first place. The skies watched over his grave, and beside it, a tattered, leaf-patterned _kimono _was left discarded on the ground.

Seasons changed. The world changed, and burgundy eyes…

Burgundy eyes opened.

* * *

It wasn't exactly hard, finding what they were trying to find. Following Rengoku Senjuro's journals closely, they quickly traced down the hints and... There it was. The Fire Pillar's grave. Helveska's prophecy was right, the Innocence was there. It was a strange thought, however, and he had doubted it a lot. Japan was the Millennium Earl's territory for _centuries_, how did he not notice this fragment of Innocence?

"Wow," his partner whispered, wind brushing against beautiful blond hair. "It's blue."

Blue spider lilies, a curious thing. It covered the grave, a single patch of blue. Gazing at the flowers, he found himself frowning.

"... Hey, do you think it's really alright? Digging up a grave, I mean."

His partner blinked at him. She smiled sadly. The others were already executing the dig, emerald crystals slowly uncovered as they dug further.

"It's never right, and it never will be."

He stared at the ceiling.

Kanda Yu stared at the ceiling, and he remembered lotus flowers and _that woman _dancing among its petals, and-

"... Oh," he said.

* * *

**Thank you for reading! **

**ko.**


	18. Banshee Legend

**18\. Banshee Legend**

He was a scientist, originally, but then he became an exorcist. Many years have long passed since Judgement was first in his hands, yet the weight of the Innocence still felt misplaced. Walking down the halls, he shoved his hands into his pockets, the tail of his white coat fluttering behind him. His uniform was still being mended- so much for indestructible material.

Taking a turn, he entered the cafeteria. It was cold, the room lit dimly with dying, fluorescent lights. He heard that there was a new head chef- what a surprise.

Settling down at one of the benches, he turned towards his table-mate.

"Don't you hate them?"

Kamado Tanjirou stared back at him, _hanafuda _earrings swaying below his ears.

After a short pause, his fellow exorcist only smiled.

They were given the next assignment. A course was set to Ireland.

* * *

Water crashed against the cliff side. In an isolated town by the shore, the village surrounded by endless woods, reports of missing children had taken place. This was taken notice by a patron of the Black Order, who by chance stumbled upon the dreary village.

According to the report, recently orphaned children would go missing at the sound of a young woman's screaming. The villagers had taken precaution and stayed up at night, but at the instant they came to be, the children were already long gone.

Cross sighed, lighting up his cigarette. Glancing over the files, he narrowed his eyes.

_Aileen Charles, age eight. _

_Cara Blake, age six. _

_So on so forth._

"One of the children's belongings," a villager said, look of wary on her face as she handed over a worn out shirt. Tanjirou accepted it with gentle hands.

Reading through the files on their way to the town, a frown had been continuously growing on the swordsman's face. Cross waited at the side as Tanjirou spoke with the villagers.

"We don't know if the missing children can be saved," the swordsman said softly, his voice firm and strong. "But we won't let anyone else get taken away."

The look in Tanjirou's eyes were incredibly determined. Upon hearing his words, the villager woman's eyes began to water. She nodded quietly.

Tanjirou smiled.

Turning away, he looked pass the scenery and squinted at the location of the sun. "It only happens during the new moon… It's still a few days before then. What do you think?"

Cross shrugged, putting out his cigarette as Timcanpy nibbled at the stick. "If you could find a trace, then it wouldn't matter either way."

The corners of the swordsman's eyes wrinkled in response. Straightening his back, Tanjirou closed his eyes and took a deep breath, his lungs expanding.

And then, burgundy eyes snapped open.

"Let's go."

* * *

The Black Order had come to three conclusions in regards of the mission: AKUMA, Innocence, or simply local kidnapping. Cross only came along because his happened to be free- Komui insisted that Tanjirou should not go alone.

At the time, there was a lot of fighting. Hearing about the village made Komui concerned, however, his concern obvious as a deep frown made its way to his face. Handing over the files, he placed a package firmly in Cross's hands.

"This here… Will probably be very important for the mission."

It was a key, the polished wood crafted beautifully into the figure of a fairy.

Tanjirou had gazed at it for a long time, but upon noticing Cross's glance, he turned away shortly.

Cross… He had heard about it, actually. The predecessor of the second exorcists.

Kamado Tanjirou.

"It's Lee. Kamado Tanjirou Lee."

Tanjirou looked back at him sadly. Despite his youthful appearance, the air around him said otherwise.

It was the presence of a leader. The Fire Pillar.

_Oh_, Cross thought. _Oh_.

As a scientist of the Black Order, he knew things. Things, at the time, that were revolutionary.

The finding of the famed Fire Pillar's grave, the incident that sparked the start of the Second Exorcist Project.

That, and… More things.

Timcanpy growled lightly at the top of his hat. Grabbing a random pen and letting the golem eat it, Cross exhaled softly as the advisor debriefed them of the mission. After a sail through the waters, they quickly reached Ireland.

Apparently, along the reports of missing orphans, there was a folklore linked to the village. Something about a Banshee.

Tanjirou had twitched at that.

Twigs snapping underneath the soles of their feet, Cross grumbled at the thickness of the woods. There were bugs and little mammals crawling about, hiding under the roots and leaves.

Tanjirou was walking up ahead, following the scent of one of the missing children. The worn out shirt had long returned to the villagers, the woman clutching it close to her heart. To some degree, Cross was still impressed by the swordsman's keen sense of smell. The fact that he actually _caught _a trace had him a little surprised- so there was still hope, no matter how little.

"... Hypothetically," the general started slowly, "if you were to confront the Millennium Earl, what would you do?"

It was a random question. Tanjirou replied without looking back.

"I'll see when the time comes," he later added with a small grin, "hypothetically."

Timcanpy, perched on his shoulder, was gazing ahead quietly. The swordsman continued.

"... Though, if I had the time to think carefully… I'll probably ask him 'why.'"

"'Why?'" Cross questioned.

Tanjirou nodded, card-shaped earrings dangling at the motion. "Yes. 'Why.'

"Why did he create the AKUMA, why does he want to destroy humanity. What makes him want to do that... Or have to do that. All of that… If time permits it."

"Huh."

After a few minutes, the light thinning as the skies darkened, Cross spoke aloud.

"You remember, don't you."

There was a slight pause, and Tanjirou slowed down.

"... There are CROWs here," he continued, "but I had Maria box our voices, they won't hear a thing. Komui didn't tell me, by the way, but if I were to guess… Your body gained immunity to the drug."

The pause continued, and he watched with narrow eyes as the _hanafuda _earrings swayed. The swordsman's back still facing him, but after a few, he turned around, a small smile resting on his lips. It was a very gentle expression, one that was held back.

It made him think of Mana.

"... You are correct," Tanjirou whispered quietly. "I do remember, but not everything. Only bits and pieces… Certain emotions."

Six months ago, his memories were said to be "erased" again, Central-issued and all. It happened after a mission at some Southern European ruins- the swordsman was with Suman Dark at the time, something about a town with high-AKUMA activity. It was the latter who carried him back to the headquarters all bloody and injured, Suman had a rather grim look in his eyes.

Komui and Tanjirou both hid the truth very well. Except, as a genius and all, not a thing could escape from Cross's careful eye.

It was simply too obvious for someone like himself.

Tanjirou's shoulders slacked slightly as a gentle breeze brushed by. From the light cast by the sun, burgundy eyes glistened with slight sunset gold.

"I do not remember my time in the Asian Branch, and… As for my time back in Japan, it's still very hazy."

Cross waited for a moment, and he nodded slowly.

"... And if you _do _remember everything, CROW or not, you would lose control your own body."

Tanjirou smiled again.

"Tanjirou, why do you still fight for the Black Order?"

He was a puppet, after all. Almost like an AKUMA. Except- his body doesn't run on sorrow and Dark Matter. His body was his own, but one that was too battered and already lost its life once.

If he were to remember his own death, the flimsy connection the Black Order managed to create between him and the living would snap.

A psychological thing. His body would still be breathing, but his soul would detach itself from its vessel. The swordsman would be practically dead, and nothing the scientists could do would bring him back again.

That was why they were so desperate to erase his memories. Previous children of the Second Exorcist Project all went mad after remember their past- Central learned from that, hence why they tried to dispose of the subject Yu the moment they could. Artificial apostles were disposable, after all, unlike Kamado Tanjirou.

Except, when Alma Karma happened, it happened too abruptly. As an end result, the entire sixth lab was slaughtered.

… On hindsight, it was probably better that way. If Tanjirou were to remember, he would finally be released, wouldn't he?

The silence was brief and short. Tanjirou had gazed at him softly, wisdom and _knowing _lingering in his eyes.

He smiled again, because all he seemed to know was to smile.

"AKUMAs are very sad beings, Marian."

Cross stared at him.

He stared at him, and then he turned away, letting out a low chuckle.

"I see."

As a scientist at the time, he read Rengoku Senjuro's journals as well. He didn't need the translation notes written along the margins- he knew Japanese well. Blame Nea.

… The words written were shaky. Judging from the state of the paper, the writer must had been crying.

It was depressing.

Simply just depressing.

(_Brother in heaven_, the quivering strokes wrote. _Please, send help_.)

* * *

The Banshee Legend went something like this: During the darkest moments, a beautiful song would be heard, and you would be able to meet your dead loved ones again. At the times of conflict and war, parents and children alike kept this story close to their hearts. Parents who lost their kids wanted to meet them again. Children who lost their parents wanted to see them again.

A fairy had sung it. The song was said to be so beautiful, to the point that a talented craftsman went ahead and made a music box in respect for her song. Some said that at some point, he had fallen in love with the fairy and her beauty, but according to other sources, the fairy had made it so it was possible for him to reunite with his lady. Either way, in memory of the fairy, he crafted a music box capturing the tune of her song.

The 'silent music box,' a set with a majestic, carefully made key.

A carefully made key, like the one sitting in his palm.

There was a beautiful clearing. Exiting the forest, what met them was the sight of endless hills, forever rolling and green. The grass, so green, shone as the sun became absent from the skies. Cross could smell the salt coming from the ocean, it was very subtle.

Exhaling, Cross watched carefully. He sharpened his senses, as it was usually when it was the most peaceful do the horrors come.

Tanjirou, standing beside him, fell silent. He was staring at the scenery set before him, and a tear might had slipped down from an eye.

With the lack of trees, the sky seemed incredibly close to the land. It was as if they were touching- but they weren't. Of course they weren't. The weight on his shoulders felt heavier, however. Cross grumbled at that.

During the moment that seemed to last forever, the sky had long turned purple, little stars beginning to sparkle above them. The general watched carefully.

And then it happened, a blood curdling scream.

He swiped out Judgement, and Tanjirou drew out his sword, the blackened blade glinting-

Somewhere ahead, there was a figure.

Cross narrowed his eyes carefully.

There was a silhouette of something up ahead, wobbling and nearing their spot on the hills. Slowly, the shadow multiplied, and-

"The children," Tanjirou suddenly said.

Cross remained silent, and soon enough, they were surrounded by the missing orphaned children.

... Puppets. They were puppets. The bodies of young children were tied to strings, twenty to thirty of them. Were they even dead? It didn't seem like it. Cross recognized one of the children's faces- Cara Blake.

The lost lambs were led to this place, and like toys, they became puppets for the puppeteer. Arms twisted into impossible angles, trails of dried tears were left along their cheeks- they lost the energy to cry. Cross noticed the white bones peeking out from the torsos of multiple kids. Red stained their clothes.

... _How morbid._

He heard a whine escape from the back of Tanjirou's throat. Shooting a side glance at him, he saw how there was a look of horror and anguish twisted on the swordsman's face.

"They're still alive," the older of the two choked out, shaking his head. "They're _still alive_. They're being treated like _toys _and they're _still alive_!"

He was angry, Cross could tell. Angry and upset. The smell was horrible, too. Imagine how would it be like for Tanjirou.

As the not-dead children slowly close in, their eyes void of light and bodies limp, the general adjusted his hold on his weapon.

"... Even if we saved them, they're still going to die in the end. You understand that, don't you?"

Tanjirou gritted his teeth, shoulders tense and shaking.

"I know, I know that."

Cross quietly sighed. Timcanpy took off from his shoulder, and he raised two fingers. The preparation of a spell.

"I'll stop their movements. Find the AKUMA."

Tanjirou nodded, and the children lurched forward.

* * *

"There's Innocence. I smell it."

Reinforcements should arrive soon and be on standby. They didn't want any needless deaths, after all. One thing they learned, however, was that this case was due to AKUMA. A higher level one, as well.

Cross blinked at Tanjirou.

"Right, you could even smell that, huh."

Tanjirou nodded curtly.

His gaze, hardened and dark, nearly had shiver run down Cross's spine. Grunting, he turned away. The skies were extremely dark, the moon only a waning crescent.

"There's more AKUMAs. None of them is the puppeteer, though."

His sense of smell was intimidating.

As usual, there was dust and explosions. Typical of an AKUMA fight- no class at all. Most that appeared were low leveled ones, Tanjirou did not bat an eye as he sliced them in half. Turning on his feet, he twisted and swung his sword- a Water Breathing form, Cross guessed.

There was no sweat locking the children in place. His spell worked perfectly, and hopefully, after this, they could bring these kids some sort of conclusion. However, when the pesky machines began to turn to attack the helpless children, he clicked his tongue and pulled the trigger, Judgement shooting holes into the AKUMAs' skulls.

More explosions. The children would breathe in the poison.

That was no good.

"Timcanpy," he called out, his golden golem companion immediately by his side. Taking out the key, Timcanpy took it with one bite. "Look out for anything strange. There's definitely Innocence here, so keep that safe."

Timcanpy stared at him for a bit, and after that slight pause, he quickly flew off.

There were now blood dripping from the children's eyes. Cross frowned.

"...lease…"

"Mom…"

Clara Blake was whimpering. There were barely any light in her eyes- no, eye. One of them was gouged out.

"I wan… Mom…y..."

Suddenly, something tied itself around his arm and pulled _back_, the general swiftly shooting Judgement at the offending _thing_. Tensing his muscles, he tugged his arm towards himself- strings. There were s_trings._

The puppeteer was near, wasn't he!

Feet firm on the ground, Cross prepared to looked back. He had prepared, but a sudden whisper stopped him.

"... Eh?" It sounded very muffled, and Cross stared ahead.

Tanjirou was standing a bit farther ahead, facing Cross and sword limp in his hands. The look in his eyes were wide and strange, eyebrows knitted together like he was confused. An AKUMA was right behind Cross, he knew it, and Tanjirou saw it.

… The puppeteer?

But what was with the look in the swordsman's eyes?

Cross frowned, and then something clicked in his mind.

As if broken from his trance, the swordsman suddenly leapt forward, and Cross quickly grabbed his arm before the amnesiac got himself slaughtered.

* * *

"I have to destroy it," Tanjirou said, veins bulging and breath rapid. "I _have _to destroy it. That AKUMA."

They were under rubble. The ground had been dug apart, courtesy of some AKUMA magic.

Cross clicked his tongue. "Calm yourself down. You'll get us all killed."

"I know," came the hoarse reply. "I _know_."

"Right, so don't."

There was blood running down one side of his face. Cross sighed at the pain, putting pressure on the wound. It was a blunt attack, but fortunately he had dodged quickly enough, hence only gaining a graze instead of a concussion.

Tanjirou, on the other hand, seemed to be having an attack of sorts. Watching him that way made him think of their previous conversation, and it wasn't pleasant at all. It was never pleasant.

… Did he recognize that AKUMA?

He watched as the swordsman buried his face into his hands, his shoulders quivering and form filled with _so much anguish. _For a moment, it seemed as if Tanjirou was considering tearing himself apart- but that was stupid. _Don't do that. Just don't._

_No matter how painful it is._

Blinking, he noticed Timcanpy waddling over, the little golem pushing his small body against Tanjirou's leg.

The golem made a low rumble, and Cross looked away.

He made another growl, and Cross groaned.

"Oi, Tanjirou."

No response.

"_Kamado Tanjirou Lee_."

A glare, and Cross glared back.

"You know what you want to do, right? That AKUMA."

The swordsman gritted his teeth in response. "Not want. _Need_."

Cross grunted. "The CROWs noticed, so this will be the last. Even if you managed to get away, once your memories completely come back, it's over."

"I know."

"You know," he agreed, "and I know, as well." Standing up, he glanced over the rubble where a battlefield lied.

"After all of this, you owe me a good bottle of exotic wine."

The AKUMA itself wasn't the problem. They could deal with it swiftly- in the end, two general-leveled exorcists was still an overkill. Perhaps, though, it was just the sentimental feelings lingering behind preventing them from _doing what they must_.

Cross was definitely not the type to do so, however. But in the face of a request, even someone like _himself _had morals.

… But maybe it was really the sentimental feelings.

Damned Nea.

Tanjirou adjusted his footing, his black coat almost too big for his frame. After finding the Fire Pillar's body, the records of the Ubuyashiki were uncovered along with the material used for the Demon Killing Corps' uniforms.

Indestructible material. Special fabric. Nonburnable, resistant to moisture, and has good air permeability. Almost impossible to tear.

And of course, the Black Order took it as well.

… It saved a lot of lives, actually. The clothes- they were insanely durable. Unless you were in the face of a stronger level three (or a Noah, as a matter of fact, but the Noahs have yet to join the war), it was as if you had armor in the form of fabric.

That, and Cross soured at the thought of the uniform. His face twisted in remembrance of what _caused _the demons to lurk in Japan, and the true history that was hidden beneath it.

Nea and Mana told him. They were so little back then, and Cross had stared back at them blankly, his inner shock covered with the look of indifference.

_You know? _The twins had said.

_Some thousand years ago, back when we were still one?_

"Don't you hate them?" He found himself asking.

The Black Order. The Noah Clan.

Both sides kept taking, and taking, and _taking_, and they never gave anything in return. Maybe tragedy, but that was worse.

In the dimmed cafeteria where the food tasted much better than before, Tanjirou smiled ruefully in response to his aching question.

_Don't you hate them._

There was always a heavy weight in his heart.

Because yes, Tanjirou hated them.

He hated them, his hatred almost as cold as he had towards Kibutsuji Muzan.

* * *

While he remembered fragments of his past, never did he recall _everything_. Komui suspected that it might be because of the trauma- his brain was trying to protect him from the could-be horrific memories. Tanjirou understood that as well. Otherwise, he wouldn't be _here _in the first place, right?

The medicine the Central used began to lose its effects. Tanjirou was gaining immunity against it- probably faster than what they expected. It still managed to erase some memories, though, but a few of his older ones were beginning to resurface.

He was a swordsman.

He wielded the sword for years and years, all for the sake of _something_. S_omeone_. Fighting against _that one_.

He recalled the warmth of his futon, the light cast by the sun. He recalled his chest hurting due to the lack of air- his legs sore from overuse and rigorous training. He remembered the smell of home. A warm, gentle smell. One that was tinted with a bit of anger, but still warm at the very end.

When the air was cool and the skies so dark, his nose caught this _smell _and he charged forward. Marian got caught, but he was strong so he doesn't need to worry-

In a split second, he thought about the Banshee legend. He thought about that and the key that resembled a fairy. He wanted to try holding it, actually. Something about it made it seem so important.

Looking up, however, made him stop in his tracks.

There… There was an AKUMA.

It was staring curiously at him, its strange and inky black eyes blown wide-

Tanjirou swallowed.

Something didn't feel right.

_What was it?_

The tear tracks. Those odd, wide eyes. That void of expression, and-

… Wisteria flowers.

There were wisteria flowers, the little petals hanging on one side of its head. Black tears were trailing down its chin.

Tanjirou stared at it.

Wisteria flowers.

Those eyes.

This was the AKUMA who was toying with the poor children. This was the AKUMA who was dragging around the bodies of the dying kids. This was the AKUMA who treated them like _toys_, like _the AKUMA was a child itself_-

_"Welcome to the Final Selection. You must survive there for seven days."_

The dead bodies of crows.

A bloodied courtyard, once peaceful and serene.

The stench of death, a tragedy.

A beautiful _kimono_.

For a moment, Tanjirou forgot he was standing in front of a bloodthirsty killing machine, feet and knees locked in place.

_Breathe._

Tanjirou stared at the AKUMA, and the _bakemono _stared back at him.

_"Welcome."_

_"Congratulations."_

_White hair being pulled, the snapping of bones-_

"_You must first pay the cost of the uniform. Then you must get your body measured and have your rank engraved."_

_His rank- mizunoto._

_"Please, take care."_

Something tugged his sleeve from behind. There was a child there, black bangs covering his eyes. The _haori _he was wearing was too big for his shoulders, a heavy responsibility placed upon the boy. Tanjirou couldn't see him clearly. He never saw them clearly.

_Let go, _the child said.

_Just let go._

There were tears dropping from his eyes. The child's bottom lip quivered.

_Please_.

Sucking in a breath, Tanjirou tightened his grip on his sword.

He felt the air rush into his lungs, oxygen reaching every single cell in his body.

A very familiar feeling. A very familiar sensation.

"_Water breathing_," Tanjirou whispered.

And suddenly, calmness turned into a boiling pit of anger. The AKUMA was tilting its head, bloody tears still dripping down as it smiled eerily.

Something burned in his chest, something unbearable and _unforgivable_.

He dashed forward.

"Tanjirou!" Someone shouted. "Come back! Don't be reckless, there's still-!"

An explosion sounded behind him, Tanjirou paid it no mind.

A hand grabbed for his arm. Red hair, it was Marian.

"Let go," he said hoarsely, the voice in his head turning louder and louder- "Let _GO_! That AKUMA- I got to- Let _go _of me!"

Marian did not let go. He stood firmly on his ground, and he did not let go. In what seemed like forever, Tanjirou felt himself waver. Marian's grip never loosen, and the demon slayer closed his eyes in defeat.

They hid under the rubble. The finders went ahead and took care of the children, so the damage control should be alright.

But when Timcanpy pushed himself against his leg, Tanjirou felt himself sob.

It was so sad, the smell.

It was too sad.

He wondered, you see. He was curious as well, in regards to the 'silent music box.' When Komui mentioned about the Banshee, he couldn't help but wonder.

It sounded so familiar. Everything did. After Marian got him back to his feet, the demon slayer regaining his cool, he went and faced the monster.

The monster, who was once a friend.

Blade running through the body of Ubuyashiki Kiriya, Kanata screeched out a blood curdling scream. The world vibrated, and the ground _shook_. Tanjirou wielded his sword, and he _breathed_.

The young child was still standing behind him.

He was sobbing, breaking out into tears as he kept apologizing.

_I'm sorry._

_I'm sorry._

_I'm so sorry!_

_I was supposed to be your leader, but I failed immediately!_

He sliced off the AKUMA's head.

_It's alright, _he thought.

_It's okay._

He looked up at the AKUMA, the smell of freedom and gratitude reaching his senses.

_Reunite with your sisters and brother, _Tanjirou prayed. _To the master and his wife._

_I'm sorry I didn't do this earlier. I'm sorry I couldn't free you from the beginning. But now, please, rest in peace._

Kanata smiled sadly at him. She nodded in thanks.

And before he knew it, the Ubuyashiki family was standing behind him, the Oyakata placing a hand on his shoulder.

_You've done well_, he said._ You've been strong._

_Not enough_, Tanjirou replied. _Never enough._

_I promised, after all. That day... When Inosuke died._

_I will destroy all of Japan's AKUMA._

_So before then, no matter what it takes... As the Fire Pillar of the Demon Killing Corps._

_Master Oyakata._

_I cannot and will not die._

* * *

There was a small clicking sound.

Tanjirou stared emptily ahead, limbs slack by his side as if all of his strings were cut from existence. It was a familiar sensation, something he probably felt too many times- the Asian Branch, he assumed.

Dust aside, it was actually kind of quiet. The AKUMA was destroyed, and the children's bodies- ah…

They were dead.

...

They finally could rest in peace.

Up ahead, Timcanpy was sitting beside this odd, little box. Somewhere at the back of his head told him that it was a music box. It sounded so gentle, and he felt the tears beginning to swell up in his eyes.

The key… The key was in it. Twisted even, so there was sound.

_You haven't been sleeping well recently, right?_

He never saw a music box before actually, but Zenitsu talked about it once. He remembered that. They were eating hotpot then... Zenitsu had come to visit.

…

Huh.

There was no moon in the sky. How strange.

Soon enough, though, the CROWs would arrive and retrieve his body.

Ah… Did he _have_ to go through that again? He was really tired. But then again, he didn't really have much of a choice here…

There was still something he had to do, after all.

And in order to do that, he had to lose his memories again. That way, he would still have time to...

But- but how would he be able to remember? What could be his trigger, and how long would it take for him to remember again?

He dreaded.

He dreaded, and-

"… _If fate permits it._"

He slowly looked up. There was a woman. She was standing before him, a gentle expression on her face.

She looked very beautiful.

"_In thanks for saving these_ children," she said,_ "I hope that my song may bring you a chance for you to go back home._"

A fairy.

A Banshee.

"... Really?" He asked.

The woman nodded.

"_All the children here ever wanted was to see their loved ones again. You, as well. I want to thank you for that. For the children."_

Tanjirou laughed lightly.

"I see."

The corners of the woman's eyes wrinkled, and in an instant, the Banshee vanished.

And when the Banshee vanished, the waning crescent returned.

(So that was it, the legend of the Banshee. Kanata's AKUMA had disguised itself as it, tricking the lost children to her toy house.)

As cool air hit his lungs, the corners of his sight began to darken. His body hurt all over, but it should be alright.

Because of the fact that Marian was standing right beside him, bending down as he picked up the old music box, did Tanjirou feel that things would truly fine.

"If it weren't for the connection between you and Nea," the red haired muttered, "I wouldn't know what to make of this. Really."

Tanjirou snorted at that, giving him a rather wry smile. His smile later dropped into one of gratitude, lethargy seeping into his veins.

"But thank you, Marian. I appreciate it."

Marian paused. He paused for a long time, and Tanjirou felt grateful for having someone this reliable by his side. No wonder Komui asked him to go with him- Marian was someone he could tell his secrets to without the need to worry. Not to mention... Well.

Cross Marian was a good friend.

Timcanpy as well.

"You're incredibly selfish," Marian said. "You could totally just rest now, and the Black Order wouldn't be able to do anything about it. You could totally return to your family right here and now, and it would be over! I just don't understand you. No, maybe I do, but it's just... Insane. You're insane. We're both insane."

Looking up, burgundy met red, and for the last time, Marian sighed.

"And since we're both crazy, I'll help you. Just this once."

Tanjirou smiled. He nodded.

"Thank you," he said. "Thank you, Marian."

And one day, he hoped to return the favor.

Tiny snowflakes began to fall, and little Lenalee was holding his hand.

She was sniffling, trails of dried tears left along her cheeks. Tanjirou smiled softly, unsure of what to say. He ought to say something, though. She seemed so upset.

"... Hey. Here, a tissue…" She wiped her nose. There were bandages wrapped around her forehead, arms. Everywhere. Tanjirou frowned. She was injured.

The supervisor arrived with a look of haste. The boy with black hair and blue eyes stared at him with disbelief, a whiff of worry drifting off of him.

There was a red haired man, he was wearing a coat of black and gold.

_Cross Marian_, his mind supplied. _A good friend_.

What caught his attention, however, was the yellow golem hovering by the man's side. It resembled the shape of a _dango_, and it was…

Familiar.

Like everything else was.

* * *

"Hey, Master? What is that box?"

"Nothing that concerns with you, kid. Now don't drop the plant."

Grumbling, the white haired teen struggled as he tried to keep Roseanne from biting off his head. The flower was salivating- as expected of a carnivorous plant.

They were in a simple town, the soles of their shoes hitting the cobblestone underneath. Passing by a bar, the general went ahead and ditched the kid with some loan sharks, cloaked with Maria's Magdala Curtain and all.

Cross sighed. Walking pass random civilians, he found himself gazing up at the skies. It was getting late.

"Mister, are you lost?"

He blinked. Turning around, he spotted a young girl staring up at him, eyes so curious and wide.

… She could see him.

_The All Seeing Eyes_, Rengoku Senjuro wrote with careful brushed strokes. _The All Seeing Eyes, and the Ears that Hears All. Then there is Tanjirou's sense of smell, along with Hashibira Inosuke's touch..._

_And Genya. _

_Genya, who is immune to the demon's blood, the one and only human impossible to be turned into a demon. Shinazugawa Genya._

Smirking, he bent down and asked for some directions, the young girl gladly directing him to some fancy, nice bar. The older civilians lurking around had shot some worried glances at the girl. It was as if she was talking to air.

Pulling out the wooden box, he set it in her little hands. The girl blinked.

"As thanks," he said with a grin.

The girl smiled back brightly, and...

If the Shinazugawa Brothers had survived since the beginning, Cross thought to himself, perhaps the results of the Demon Killing Corps' fight against AKUMA could have ended up differently.

But that was all wishful thinking. Those brothers died first, and nothing they could do would change that.

Typhoons always hit hard, after all.

Natural disasters and the like.

* * *

**This... This one was probably one of the hardest chapters for me to write so far. It's like- how on earth does one write Cross? He's shrouded with so much mystery. But that being said, thank you for all your kind response!  
**To answer Just A Normal Human Being, if Yoriichi was in Tanjirou's place... Oh man.**  
**

**Thus wraps up the Mission of All Seeing! ****Thank you for reading, and please have a nice day! Sorry for the long wait!**

**ko.**


	19. Extra: Records of the Blue Spider Lily

**19\. Extra: Records of the Blue Spider Lily  
**_(NOTE: TW for implications of self-harm, please be careful as you read.)_

It started off with a headache. The pain wasn't noticeable at first, but then it grew over time. Eventually, it became so painful that he couldn't help but throw up everything that was in his stomach- which was, he must say, _awful_.

A sickness? Flu? Zenitsu had panicked, a dreaded anxiety growing inside of him as something acidic burned at the back of his throat. The folks in the small restaurant he was in were backing away in surprise and disgust. He felt very sick.

One of the waitresses asked if he was okay. Head throbbing and ears ringing, he waved a hand dismissively and left the restaurant after paying his tab. Customers and servers alike made it clear that they did not want him there. He could hear their thoughts as clear as day, and it only made his headache worse.

Dragging his feet along, he reached a Wisteria House. The family living there quickly helped him inside, taking out a futon for him to rest. It made Zenitsu want to cry. The Wisteria folks always came to their aid no matter what the case.

Tucked in bed and clothes changed into something more comfortable, he let himself close his eyes.

… So much for a vacation to wander around Japan. Now he just got ill- how pathetic. Embracing the darkness, he let himself enter a deep slumber. The pain numbed, and there were peaches and beautiful flowers in his dream. For once, the spinning headache finally subsided-

And it came back sixfold the next day.

Chuntaro went to fetch the _kakushi_. His headaches had gotten worse, thus all of them coming to a conclusion that it would be best if he returned to the Butterfly Estate. It had been nearly a year since he last went there, and speaking of it, Zenitsu did quite miss them, all of them.

Behind the suffocating pain submerging his mind, he caught the worried sounds coming from the Wisteria family. He tried to pull up a smile- _I'll be okay, it's just the flu or something._

_It'll be alright. _

The _kakushi _quickly came and took him to the estate. On their way, the sun setting and air cooling, his forehead suddenly started bleeding.

There was a gash running across his forehead, the _kakushi _looked horrified.

At the time, Zenitsu was too tired to pay attention. So when he finally noticed the back of the _kakushi _who was carrying him drenched in blood, for an instant, he considered screaming, but he promptly fainted instead.

* * *

"You… Don't know how to fix it?" Zenitsu swallowed thickly. Aoi gripped the edges of her clothes, distress visible on her features. Zenitsu didn't like the look on her face.

"I sent a crow to Master Kiriya. I'm sorry, I don't know what caused your sudden… Injury," her voice was crumbling, it sounded so sad. "For now, let's keep those bandages around your forehead. If it starts hurting again, I'll give you some painkillers."

The room was silent. The sounds Aoi was giving off was drenched in grief and frustration- he understood. They all had the same thought.

_If Shinobu was still here, maybe she could find a cure. If it was Shinobu, she might be able to find a way to fix this._

But Shinobu was gone, and Aoi was not Shinobu. Aoi was upset because of that.

Eyes downcast, Zenitsu frowned. It wasn't Aoi's fault that his head started bleeding out of nowhere. He really hoped that the girl would stop being sad and give off happy (and slightly irritated) sounds again. It was one thing to be treated for after a hard battle, Aoi had all the reason to get him back into shape and be angry at his annoying screaming. But with an injury with no cause or reason?

Zenitsu didn't want to feel like a burden! Especially after everything that had happened!

As Aoi exited the room, the door closing with a silent _thud_, Zenitsu buried himself under the blankets.

He dreamt of pain, pain, and more pain. The cloth wrapped around his head was soaked in red.

* * *

"I'll look into it," the child said. Kiriya had a concerned look on his face. Seeing that tiny body of his, putting his entire soul into helping what was left of the Demon Killing Corps, his father's organization, Zenitsu found respect for that child.

"The Ubuyashiki has a lot of resources. It would only be a matter of time once I find something- a clue- regarding about your situation. Otherwise, I _will _find a cure for you."

His sound was so strong. It had a slight tinge of worry and self doubt, but the core of his voice was dazzling. Zentisu couldn't help but want to believe him- the child had the core of a leader.

During the time Zenitsu was out of commission, he spent the days watching the scenery from the window. Months passed and the injury didn't seem like it was aggravating. Betting on it, Zenitsu decided to travel again- he didn't like being too cooped up in one spot, after all. The thought of it almost made him laugh- to think he actually _willingly_ wanted to go _out_. Wouldn't Gramps be so proud?

He was careful though, of course. The gash wound on his forehead was old. Sumi, Naho, and Kiyo all kept reminding him to don't push himself too hard- they were so worried for him. He gave them a bright smile before departing again.

Stumbling upon a village, he went ahead and bought some rice cakes. They were delicious, and nibbling on one of them, he was suddenly reminded of the Kamado siblings. The first- no, second- time he met Tanjirou, the older Kamado had butchered his chance of getting married. Yet right after that, he offered him an _onigiri_, along with the sound of a bright, blue sky.

… They would like it, the rice cakes. On that thought, he decided to visit his dear friends. Kiriya and Aoi agreed on that decision, it would be for the best.

Chuntaro delivered him a message- a strip of paper tied around his tiny leg. Untying the letter, he opened it up and skimmed across it.

A location. It was the location of the Fire Pillar's new estate, neatly written in Kiriya's handwriting. Zenitsu went to visit.

The Kamado siblings welcomed him with open arms. It came to him that he really missed them- Tanjirou, beautiful Nezuko. Even Inosuke. He missed them all.

"Rice cakes," he gave them the cakes wrapped in pretty _furoshiki _cloth. Nezuko's eyes lit up, a beautiful smile on her lips as she politely took it, their hands nearly touching and-

"I'll prepare some tea!"

Zenitsu entered the house, taking in the sound of sunlight coming from their soft heartbeats. He held back a sniffle.

The man in foreign clothing gazed at him with amber eyes. Zenitsu stared back, and something changed.

"This is Nea," Tanjirou said with a smile. _Nea _nodded as a small greeting, and Zenitsu continued to stare.

"... Agatsuma Zenitsu," he decided to say. Beneath the bandages, the scar over his forehead was throbbing again.

_Stop throbbing_, he wanted to yell. _Just stop! _He wanted to tear out his hair and _scream and cry_, but he held his tongue back. He held his breath.

A sense of panic settled in his heart and this odd feeling of _right_, and Zenitsu wanted to throw up again.

(Because visages were overlapping each other. Zenitsu _did not know _who that man was, but _something in him _knew. Something so _foreign_, and it shook him to the core.)

(Zenitsu was Zenitsu! He was no one else! Not a Noah- none of that-)

Tanjirou looked up at him worriedly. Zenitsu cracked a smile.

He felt himself disappearing more at the start of each day.

* * *

"You're awakening rather slowly," Joyd commented. Zenitsu snorted, flicking him off as he leaned his back against the wall.

"The time it takes for the memories to resurface varies for each and one of us," the Noah in the form of a young girl said, the tone of her voice so sickly and sweet. Golden eyes peering at the blonde, she grinned, and no one would have thought that poking people's eyes out with a melting candle was her among her many little hobbies. "But it's nice to meet another one of our family!"

Family. _Family_. They throw that word carelessly around, probably well aware that he was not _Tryde _yet but still _Zenitsu_.

Who the hell was _Tryde_. To hell with that name.

Mana smiled softly, eyebrows furrowed slightly with mimicked kindness. (He knew it was genuine, that man truly cared for his family. But- even so- Zenitsu wanted to believe. It was easier that way, and he, he knew, was horrible for that.

But... Looking back, it would've been so much easier if Mana wasn't such a good person. Really.)

During the banquet, his skin itching from the white dress shirt and smell of perfume, Zenitsu found himself sitting at the end of some staircase. The Cambell's manor was insanely huge, and all the sounds were making his head spin.

Just briefly, the image of Tanjirou flashed at the back of his eyelids, and Zenitsu hugged himself closer.

He hated the dress shirt. He hated the shoes and those paintings hanging over there and the freaking wallpaper not to mention the _stigmata _under these bandages and these _sounds_-

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

After a few seconds, he breathed again.

Opening his eyes sadly, he gazed up to the chandelier. English was still weird in his mouth, but at the same time it felt so _natural_.

His shoulders shook.

Ah, he was totally going insane.

Bumping into those AKUMA disguised as demon slayers made his heart hammer like it was going to jump out of his throat. He was walking down the mountain at the time, Inosuke and Tanjirou by his side. It was after the Pillar Meeting, and Zenitsu found himself slowing down, staring wide-eyed at the AKUMA lingering behind. There was no wonder, really, as AKUMA followed wherever tragedy was. _This place_, where demons used to lurk, was _definitely _filled with that.

But- he was a demon slayer. Before he was a Noah- no, he was _never _a _Noah_\- he was Gramps' useless pupil. And- not to mention- Kaigaku and everyone-

Tanjirou.

Nezuko.

"Don't get near any of them," he murmured an order, pulling the AKUMA to the side. "Never touch them."

_Don't touch my family. This goes for all of you._

The AKUMAs obeyed like a loyal mutt to its master. Zenitsu felt his stomach churn. (He could hear the sounds of the soul so sharply. He had to _stop_ listening- he _had_ to-)

"Yes, Master Noah."

The muscle under his eye twitched. Turning away, brown eyes immediately met with bright emerald.

Inosuke. He was standing up head, head turned so their eyes were meeting. A frown on his lips, his boar mask was held under an arm.

Shortly, the younger turned away, and Zenitsu felt himself break a little.

Inosuke was putting his trust in him, wasn't he. He was trusting that Zenitsu would tell them eventually, one day, and…

Zenitsu wasn't sure if he could proudly say that he would.

(Why did he have such good friends? He didn't deserve them at all. But if he said that out loud, for sure, Inosuke would headbutt him and whack him with a feather-filled pillow. It was awful. And- Tanjirou wouldn't let him have it, as well.

... Zenitsu wanted to hold on to them and never let go.

He wanted to stay like a normal human being, like _them_. Not some superhuman, not some weird ass family that thirsted for destruction with twisted morals and values.

But- but once he fully _awakens_, then… Then he would...)

…

His cells were shifting. Looking down to his wrists, sometimes, his blood would be black instead of red.

Ah… That was no good.

It was really no good.

* * *

He went through the archives. A sense of desperation hit him, and he dug through the books within the Cambell family's libraries. The hidden ones, no less, and the ones that the Earl never bothered to lend to Kiriya.

_I guess so, I'm not exactly sure on the details… But… They aren't lying._

The summer sky. Watermelon and tea. Glass wind chimes above their heads, a beautiful, breathtaking sight.

_They aren't, but they're hiding things._

_... Yeah, they are._

Opening his mouth, he muttered.

_And they're hiding too much._

Opening another book, wide, brown eyes stared at the contents that spilled before him. Mana and Nea did not say a word of disapproval when he asked to check out the libraries. They were rather open about it, Mana telling him with a bright sparkle in his eyes: "Go for it!

"The libraries' all yours!"

_Kibutsuji Muzan_, it wrote.

He flipped the next page.

Then the next.

And then the next.

And he kept reading through it, unable to register the presence of the little golden golem that made itself his companion on the shelf by his head.

He read about Muzan. He read about Muzan and his research papers, his experiments, his notes, and then all of Lady Tamayo's (he heard about her, the demon doctor who helped Nezuko turn back human).

He… He found out about the man-eating ogres and everything that had to do with it. He read all of it, the records, the lists, the renowned swordsmen that ever existed since _Heian_, breathing techniques, and-

…

Ah…

Haha.

He smiled as Tanjirou performed his dance, fire flickering and snow drifting. He smiled as they ate together, watching as the sun began to peek from the horizon and a new year starting. He smiled as they huddled under the blankets, hands rubbing together with the tips of their ears so cold and red.

He smiled. He smiled. He kept smiling.

...

What a horrible joke this was.

* * *

...

"Hey, Chuntaro?"

A curious peep and the tilt of his tiny head.

Brown eyes sulken, Zenitsu shook his head. "... No, nevermind."

Clothes ruffling, rough hands slowly scooped up the little sparrow. Chuntaro nested in his palms, Zenitsu walked up to the window, placing the bird down on the wooden sill.

Another peep. Chuntaro tilted his head again.

Zenitsu chuckled, his gaze downcast.

"I'll be… Leaving for a bit. You stay here, alright? With the _kakushi _and the crows…" Fumbling a bit, he placed his hands together over his stomach. Chuntaro made another peep, this time more insistent, _stronger_.

Zenitsu laughed gently.

"Yeah, that's all."

It was a funny thought- that one of his closest friends was a bird. But he supposed- that was alright, he guessed.

Chuntaro should stay here, where things were okay and safe. The sparrow should be very old, as well... Birds didn't live long, after all. Leaving behind an _onigiri _that Tanjirou patiently taught him how to make, Zenitsu took his sheathed sword, stood up, and left.

He heard a small, quiet peep.

He tried his best not to look back.

(But he did, just a little, and Chuntaro attacked him with a small, gentle peck, and-)

Weeks turned into months, and perhaps another year passed.

He traveled.

With only his clothes and his sword hidden behind his back, he traveled.

He ventured to the most dangerous places. He found himself lost more than he could ever count.

If Muzan wasn't able to find it in Japan, despite having a thousand years to do so, then perhaps it was somewhere else.

Maybe he could find it, just somewhere else.

_Dear Zenitsu_, the Kamado siblings' letters would say. _How are you doing?_

_I'm doing fine_, he would reply.

_But no, I'm actually not. I got ambushed by a bunch of bandits again._

_I'm seriously going to die! What is up with this country?!_

_By the way, the food is really good, though._

_I think you two would like it._

_Yeah._

_I think…_

_You two would like it._

Tanjirou had looked very relieved when Zenitsu came to visit, the blonde reliving his (fake) adventures to his friends in the form of complaints and yelling. He had looked so relieved, and Zenitsu couldn't help but stare ahead, thinking of the what-could-bes.

The peaches were delicious. Others came to visit, Inosuke earning a yell from the older Pillar for snatching the fruit straight out of his hands.

He was impressed by how well he could lie to his (real) family nowadays. It was scary.

(Or maybe- or maybe they were hiding it as well. Their worries and concerns- maybe.

... Wouldn't that just be sad?)

Nezuko was sitting beside him. Zenitsu closed his eyes.

* * *

He... He never actually bothered to question why the Earl seemed so different. More like- he _knew _he wasn't supposed to be some seventeen year old- the Count was older, _way _older. Yet… How?

His Noah memory hadn't completely resurfaced, so there were still a lot of things he was not sure about. He didn't bother asking, though. He… Didn't want to ask.

Joyd did talk about how his Noahfication was rather slow- Zenitsu wondered why as well. Maybe it was because of his breathing techniques? But no- the Noah gene awakening was basically the reconstruction of your entire body to the point you were only a shadow of your former self. All of your cells… They would be replaced. The Noah gene.

Then why? Wasn't it a bit… _Too _slow? A year or two or three (he couldn't quite remember-) long passed since it first began.

(Not that he wanted it to be faster, but still.)

Zenitsu frowned. He was sitting at his desk, a neatly wrapped package placed beside the ink bottle. Tapping a finger on the wood, he sighed again. Looking up, he saw himself on the glass window, a reflection of himself.

… Blonde hair.

There was a time when it used to be black, but then...

Lightning… Hit him…

…

Maybe.

Shaking his head, he turned back to the papers set on his table. Just as he was about to pick up his calligraphy brush, the sight of calluses on his hand stopped him. He stared at it for a while, thinking back at the terror and thrill of pulling out his blade, the feeling of pressure pressing in his lungs.

Someone was at his door. Two knocks were heard, and Zenitsu smiled politely as Miss Katerina, Mana and Nea's mother, entered the room.

"Sir Agatsuma," the beautiful miss stumbled upon a few syllables, her cheeks tinted with a bit of pink as she shook her head and tried again. The younger man chuckled softly at that, and she smiled back. "You've been working in your room for quite a bit now, would you like some afternoon tea?"

"Ah, tea," Zenitsu repeated after her, a thoughtful look on his face. He smiled brighter, the English leaving from his lips stronger than ever. "I'd love some, Miss Cambell. Thank you. Oh, and if it doesn't bother you-"

"A few lemon slices at the side," her eyes twinkled. "Of course."

Zenitsu smiled at that, and soon enough, there was a tray of good beverage sitting on his table.

He continued to smile even as the madam left the room, the corners of his mouth slightly aching with pain. Hanging his head low, he took one of the slices of the fruit and gripped it, droplets of acidic water landing into a small, ceramic plate.

Wiping his hands on his pants, he grabbed the brush and began to write.

* * *

Over the years, he wrote a lot.

All to the Kamado siblings, however. He wasn't even the type to write letters to begin with.

They all somewhat start off like this:

_Dear, the most beautiful and cutest and precious girl I've ever met in my entire life, Nezuko, and her brother, Tanjirou._

_I nearly got myself killed again._

_It was absolutely terrifying._

For sure, the latter statement might earn himself a shocked expression from both siblings, but- well- yeah. No excuses, he should really stop starting his letters like that.

_How are you all doing? I heard about the typhoon… It must have been horrible. Over here has been in good weather, so I send my best wishes to you all. I..._

After the black ink fully dry off, he would personally step out of the Ark and tie it to Tanjirou's crow. Watching the bird take off, for a moment, he thought about Chuntaro, his little sparrow companion that he left behind.

… He wondered how the sparrow was doing.

Turning back, he returned to the Noah's Ark quietly, trying his hardest not to think of the Kamado siblings and everyone else. Hopefully no one saw him, it would be… It would not so good, if someone did.

… Thinking about it, he was visiting less and less, the amount of letters he would send every month diminishing as well.

It was just...

Maybe he was scared.

Hell, he was always scared.

So when Nezuko took his hands and looked at him straight in the eyes, he felt his chest tighten.

He believed in Nezuko.

It wasn't that he didn't trust Tanjirou- Tanjirou was one of the two kindest people he ever met (the other being the said man's sister)- but…

Tanjirou, he was working hard as well. For everyone. Nezuko told him about it, how her brother couldn't sleep well at night, how it seemed as if he was tearing himself apart day by day despite his smiles and demeanor of strength.

As soon as he finished writing, he closed his eyes and pressed his face into his hands. He stayed that way for a while, the clicking of the grandfather clock behind him sinking into white noise.

About a thousand years ago, during the _Heian _Period, the Millennium Earl went to Japan.

You see, the Noah Clan had always consisted of thirteen people, never more and never less. As the true apostles chosen in this world, the Earl… He was convinced that they had to destroy all of humanity… And bring back the "Three Days of Darkness."

But the thing was, "humanity" didn't count the Noah Clan, despite the Noah Clan being human as well. Maybe superhuman, but still human no less. At least- the Earl thought so.

So he had a thought.

What if he was able to awaken the Noah gene in other humans, making them like his family and himself?

That way, humanity wouldn't have to be destroyed, no?

Disguised as a generous doctor, he stumbled upon a sickly young man. His name was Kibutsuji Muzan, a man barely near his twenties. Taking out the medicine he made himself, he attempted to "treat" his disease.

… The medicine didn't work.

It caused a reaction, and a being that mimicked the Noah came into existence. A being that could not be under the _sun_-

It was honestly laughable.

Really.

His- his _family _pushed the Earl to do such a thing. The Earl, _Adam_, who wanted nothing but to live peacefully with his family. His makeshift family. When he read about it that day, hands shaking as he held the files, cold sweat ran down the back of his neck and Zenitsu gagged on his own vomit.

Shoichi, Teruko, and Kiyoshi. Their happy, gentle smiles.

The sound of gratitude.

The sound of family.

The girls from the Butterfly Estate. Aoi. Chuntaro. Murata.

Tanjirou. Nezuko. Inosuke.

Rengoku-

All the people he saved.

All the demons he slayed.

Kiriya.

Kaigaku.

Gramps.

He gasped raspily, eyes welling up with tears.

_Gramps_.

"You know. No matter what you do, you won't be able to stop the Noahfication, Zenitsu." Wisely stood by the door, arms crossed and golden eyes peering.

Zenitsu laughed dryly, later sending a dark glare at his way.

"Yeah, screw off."

Wisely narrowed his eyes.

"No, really. It's a wasted effort. Just go back to your friends- becoming a Noah doesn't mean you'll stop being yourself. You'll just get an extra set of memories, that's all."

"And kill off all the humans that I've sworn to protect?" Zenitsu scoffed, shaking his head. "You all are insane. I'm crazy as well."

Lightning crackled in his veins. Oxygen rushed to the tip of every finger and toe.

In the end, he hated himself more than anything.

"I'll find it. The Blue Spider Lily."

And perhaps he could become human again.

(But of course, it wasn't that easy. It was never that easy.)

(That night, he dreamt of sorrow. Sorrow and pain and fear. The breach of trust- _Kaigaku, why did you turn into a demon? You were supposed to be Gramps' successor, and yet-!_)

Something pressed on his forehead. It was a cool, gentle hand, but he wasn't sure who it belonged to. Wearily opening his eyes, gold met gold and the Ninth Apostle frowned.

"... Even though it's a nightmare, I don't think you'd want me to take it away."

"... Why do you care?"

The Noah of Dreams only smiled in response, molten gold squinting just the tiniest of the bit.

"Hear my thoughts, and you'll know why."

All beings had a unique sound.

Every animal, every existence.

Humans. Demons. Noah.

AKUMA, as well.

_My daughter is dead, my daughter is dead. It's over, my daughter is dead._

The soles of his shoes hitting carpet, Zenitsu had walked down the halls of the Cambell's manor, passing by faceless servants and pristine paintings alike.

_I murdered my own family- how could I- no, no! But- ah- what could I do- I was- _he _brought _me _back-_

An AKUMA in the form of a young lady bowed her head as his presence. She was carrying a vase of fresh flowers.

_Kill. I should kill more. Yes. That's right- I'm hungry. I'm so hungry. _

_I should- kill- yes- ha- ye-_

Raising his hands, he covered his ears.

Something in him stirred, and he clenched his teeth tightly.

An AKUMA offered him a white cloth. His _stigmata_... It was bleeding again. Zenitsu didn't take it.

From what it seemed... All that was left was just his lightning-carved _nichirin _blade and a frayed, yellow _haori_.

White noise bustled. He heard static. Could he still hear clearly?

The cool hand left his forehead, and the Noah closed his eyes. Road stayed beside him.

"It's because we're family, Zenitsu."

* * *

They… They pushed him to his limits, again. Last time, the end result was Japan's demons, but now-

He watched as the good man tore himself apart, all of his pain and agony hidden under a bright, dying smile.

Mana.

Road took the young adult into her arms, whispering words of comfort into his hair. She looked like a mother then, and Zenitsu found himself shivering.

Mana, the good man that never lied. He only hid things, so that didn't quite count as lying. White lies, he knew. Mana genuinely liked Tanjirou, and Zenitsu remembered how Tanjirou would talk about Mana and Nea with such fondness and glee.

_They're like younger siblings to me!_

Zenitsu strained his smile at that. The thought of Tanjirou seeing the twins as _family_ was… Disturbing. After all, the reason why the they actually met… Mana was going to turn him into an AKUMA by using Tomioka Giyuu's soul. It didn't happen in the end, but still.

Tanjirou didn't know about that, though.

Zenitsu never told them as well.

As Mana writhed in pain, his eyes squeezed shut and sweat breaking out, Zenitsu went to refill the water.

He thought about Miss Katerina, the kindness in her eyes almost comparable to Tanjirou's. He thought about her and the baby photos that always contained her and her little twin babies. She- could it be?

When he brought the water back, suddenly, all three of them- Mana, Road, and _Tryde_\- were crying.

The Noah in them were crying, and Mana went _livid_.

(Someone killed a member of their family.)

(It was the Fourteenth.)

* * *

One day, before everything went wrong, he bumped into Urokodaki Sakonji.

It was honestly just an accident, but one day he stumbled upon the elder who happened to be cutting down some trees. When their eyes met, he could feel the former Water Pillar blinking behind his mask.

"You're… Kuwajima's pupil?"

Zenitsu sputtered, nearly tripping over himself as he quickly regained his footing. The elder man never moved a step away.

"Y-you knew Gra- erm- Master?"

Of course he knew him- at least he should. He probably recognized his _haori_'s pattern- that must be it- but still. They were both Pillars, didn't it made sense? Stupid Zenitsu. Idiot.

"... I did," Urokodaki nodded. "We were comrades."

"O-oh…"

Thinking back, he never really met any of his master's former acquaintances. It was always him, Kaigaku, and a few selective others. Always.

Suddenly, he found himself seated as a guest in the elder's house. The tea was long readied and Zenitsu blinked owlishly, sitting in _seiza _with his sword by his side.

"Wait- _huh_?!"

"Kuwajima was a good man," Urokodaki sniffed.

"Ah- yes, but uh-"

"Always hot blooded as well."

"Erm- I guess, but-"

"But I must say, he taught you well."

Zenitsu paused. He paused, and before seething anger found its way through his veins, he found himself straining his ears and _listened_. He listened to each squeak of the bones, each thump caused by the heart- and at that moment, he realized he hadn't listened for so long.

He thought about Tanjirou, and how he sat across the other as the beautiful, kind sound slowly soured with crumbling sadness and agitation.

His mind was completely messed up during the Pillar Meeting, but that was no excuse- he caused his friend- _family_\- so much pain.

He didn't want to listen to such a sound- a sound of _grief and pain and guilt and-_

They were supposed to be happy, you know. They really were- and just by calming his nerves for _one second_, Zenitsu could hear the world. He could hear every thought of every person, and it overwhelmed him. He was scared. Terrified. The Noah gene only brought more headaches, it was _horrible_.

He wanted to cover his ears and close his eyes-

But- he had to try.

The thought was scary, but he had to try, right?

No matter how scared he was, no matter what the _sound _was-

Listen past the muddled noises, listen past his daunting fears. Listen pass, and-

Urokodaki Sakonji… He was not lying.

Red _tengu _mask gazing ahead, he saw how the elder's shoulders relaxed a bit, tension leaving from his old bones. The air around him was serene, almost unwavering.

Water. This oddly comfortable lull.

His presence was like no other. Calm and stable, the sound of strength. A true Pillar.

… Haha.

Ha.

He was hearing.

He was _hearing_.

He hadn't heard for so long.

(Not since then, not since _then-_)

"Agatsuma Zenitsu, am I right?"

Zenitsu nodded hesitantly, eyes glued to the teacup sitting by his knees.

Urokodaki returned the nod, and softly, he spoke aloud.

"I can see why he was proud of you."

Zenitsu didn't look up, and the old trainer continued.

"You know your foundations, _sharpened _it, and that means something. In a way- you remind me of one of my late pupils.

"Don't doubt this old man. I see it, why Kuwajima was so proud of you."

… Or rather, he smelt it.

He caught the scent of instability. The stench of fear and self doubt. That boy- barely an adult- was going through something others cannot fathom in any sort of way. Tanjirou had mentioned something about it- along with Agatsuma's hearing. And then there was that strange scent- a scent that lingered upon every human being, but oddly stronger on this Agatsuma.

Urokodaki was concerned, but then suddenly, the spike of anger that grew on the Lightning Pillar dampened, and the boy, he began to _see_. The old former demon slayer smelt all of that, and he acknowledged the blonde for his strength and persistence.

Because Agatsuma reminded him of Giyuu.

Their visages had overlapped, and Urokodaki felt his shoulders slack.

Giyuu, one of the only children who survived the Final Selection. One of his only students who survived and inherited the blade.

His student, who went ahead and created a new form to the breath he passed down to him.

His student who was quick to frown, quick to succumb to his own fears, but quick enough to _realize_ what it truly meant to _live_ and _survive_.

Giyuu.

Tomioka Giyuu.

Except- Agatsuma did not know of that. He didn't know that Urokodaki had the same keen sense of smell that Tanjirou has.

But even so, there was no need for him to know about it.

Urokodaki wished the best for them. All of them.

No matter what obstacles that would be placed in their way, no matter the pain and agony that would lurk in their path...

He hoped they would be able to find their own pillar. A strong, sturdy pillar that would stand tall into the skies, allowing them to find a reason to laugh again. To smile again.

And perhaps, Agatsuma's hearing was clear enough to hear that.

This old man's ramblings.

The encounter was strange enough- strange as it had been a while since Zenitsu properly sat down and spoke to someone. Not to mention- the old man was one of Gramps' former comrades.

Maybe it was because of then, during the noisiest moments in his head, he could still clearly hear his mentor yell at the back of his mind: "Breathe!"

And right now- his forehead was searing up in pain, _stigmata _throbbing and eyes tearing up uncontrollably.

They cried more often, because the Fourteenth was killing off everyone, and Zenitsu wanted to _scream_.

(Because Tryde was the Noah of Judge. He was the Second Apostle, the apostle next to the Earl, and his _role_ was to _ensure _that there would be _no_ _betrayals_ within their tiny, little family_._)

(And Zenitsu was turning into Tryde, and he let the Fourteenth ran wild.)

(The more tears ran down his face, the more he wanted to tear out his sword and slice off _that man's_ head. He wanted to feel the blade cutting through the bones in the neck, to decapitate that _traitor _with his blood boiling with seething _rage_.)

(How dare he.)

(How dare he.)

(How dare he-)

...

Zenitsu was crying, this little blubbering mess.

He, as he was abandoned, did not have parents, so nobody expected anything from him. No one hoped anything upon this ugly child.

Not a single dream, not a single wish. Nothing.

Not to mention his boisterous crying- he was truly no good! How could someone who cries after only tripping once accomplish anything? Leave him be, that boy was useless!

Absolutely _useless_!

A waste of space!

"If you hate them, you can just kill them."

Road was sitting beside him under the shade. She was eating a lollipop, gazing calmly ahead where things were peaceful and serene. The Noah of Dreams.

How brave- to the point of idiocy. They thought themselves so superior, the thought of bothering another person never crossed their minds. Perhaps it would be nice, though. Being able to have such a mindset. Wouldn't life be so much more simple?

To just wipe out the existence of anyone you disliked?

Anyone you deemed wrong?

"And is that wrong?" She eyed him, a softer look in her narrowed eyes. "It is wrong?"

Perhaps.

In the face of the world, perhaps it really didn't matter.

But even so…

… Even so.

Zenitsu did not want to become someone like that. Ever.

Because Kibutsuji Muzan was like that.

(Kaigaku, his older brother figure, as well.)

Kibutsuji Muzan was given an immortal, strong body, but to only want more. Out of _rage_, he _killed _the "generous doctor" after hearing that he wouldn't be able to _live _any _longer_ than twenty years old. He did not think twice to _satisfy _his _cravings _for _human flesh_ despite being _born human _like the ones he _devoured_ _himself_. And for _his own_ convenience, he _tore_ apart the lives of _others_, feeding them thoughts of _corruption_ and _despair_ and _fear_.

The man had no morals. No ethics. No values.

He lived for himself only, and Zenitsu wanted to live for others.

Live for someone to protect that person. Protect that person to the very end- a modest future.

And that was the difference.

And that one difference was all that he needed in the face of this world.

"Run," he said, old and green checkered _haori _over his shoulders. "Get away from here. Just grab Nezuko and run, anywhere _but_ here. _Please_."

Because Mana had gone mad.

And if Mana had gone mad, then as his clones, _all of the AKUMA would go mad_. And AKUMA- they were weapons. _Living weapons of mass destruction_.

Bloodshed.

There would be bloodshed.

Bloodshed that shouldn't exist anymore. Terror and sadness _they _shouldn't be experiencing anymore.

He couldn't hear anything. The sounds were all muddled, echoing and echoing and echoing. All he felt was this dying emotion of _hate_, and his chest twisted so tightly.

He couldn't find the Blue Spider Lily.

He tainted Gramps' memories.

He wasn't able to be a good person.

He couldn't be a good person.

Regret.

So much regret.

It was over.

Everything was over.

But no-

Tanjirou.

_Nezuko._

Don't die.

_Don't die!_

Please live, and survive!

"... Tanjirou?" He was really tired. All the life in him had seeped away, and he couldn't see clearly anymore. The memories- they would devour him, because Zenitsu was so weak. And- and he would die. That was...

Maybe it was better this way. Maybe it wasn't. He didn't know- he was stupid, after all.

Wasn't he so selfish? Wanting them to live- but only them? Shouldn't he be trying to save everyone else- even though all of his efforts would be in vain? Inosuke's trust in him- how could he possibly repay him? What a horrible friend he was!

A horrible friend!

_But breathe_.

Gramps was standing in front of him, a firm hand on his shoulder. In front of the charred tree, his legs would be hurting from sitting in _seiza _too long as his mentor scolded him not-so gently.

His mentor- he never abandoned him. No matter how many times he ran away, he never abandoned him.

Because Gramps believed in him, as well.

_Even if you only know one thing. Hone it to perfection. To the utmost limit._

Gramps never treated him like some sort of fragile, broken child. He never pulled his punches, constantly and ceaselessly trying to pass down the Breath of Lightning down onto this (useless- annoying- _disappointing-_ _weak-!_) pupil.

_Master it, _he would say_, and you would be soaring. Soaring at the roar of a god's thunder._

_Just believe. Believe, and don't ever give up._

_Because you _do _have the ability, Zenitsu._

The Sanzu River. The red spider lilies.

_You are my pride and joy. _

Tanjirou stared at him.

He stared at him, and-

"Of course."

Was he still a demon slayer?

Yes, Tanjirou said to him firmly. He was.

He was a demon slayer. He was Tanjirou's and Nezuko's and Inosuke's and Murata's friend. He was the Lightning Pillar, user of the Lightning Breath. He was the student of Kuwajima Jigoro, former Roaring Pillar of the Demon Killing Corps. He was a demon slayer. Agatsuma Zenitsu. No matter how much time would pass and how many things would change, He was a demon slayer.

Wearing a small, exhausted smile, he… Zenitsu, replied.

It was because he wanted to see a brief future. A future where they could all be happy.

"Thank you."

* * *

Zenitsu had been searching for a long time, you know? Since then, he kept searching for it. He wasn't able to find those flowers in the end, and it became his biggest regret.

(He was lying. His biggest regret wasn't that, but the fact that he didn't use that time to be with his friends. It was awful. Too late. Horrible. He should've listened to Wisely. How stupid of him. He was always so stupid, an _idiot_.)

(_I'm sorry. I'm really sorry._)

But he would probably be never forgiven for it. Zenitsu understood that. Gramps should be so angry. Zenitsu knew that.

Agastuma Zenitsu acknowledged that for a fact.

So when he opened his eyes, a field of red spider lilies stretching before him, he felt his breathing hitch.

Beside him stood all of his comrades, and there, up ahead, was the river that split between the living and dead.

"We're dead," Inosuke choked out. Headpiece missing, his emerald eyes were filled with so much anguish and grief. Zenitsu's heart wrenched.

"We're _dead_."

They were.

He looked down to his belly, the place where the traitor stabbed him through clean. He expected to see blood there, but it was nonexistent. It wasn't there.

Turning his head, he saw Nezuko.

Beautiful, precious Nezuko, who shed a tear at the dooming fate of her dear big brother.

Precious Nezuko, who never dared to leave anyone behind.

Nezuko.

…

Could he do it?

To live a happy, modest future?

To live a future, where he could protect someone to the very end?

Gramps had slapped his face and told him to go to the Final Selection. And- years ago- he wouldn't have thought it would be because of _that _could he smile so _happily_ for _once_. That- that he finally made not just _one_, but _two_, and _another _friend.

Actual friends. _Real_ friends. He never had friends before, but then suddenly he was surrounded by them.

A real family.

Maybe he could, you know. Reach it. That future.

Maybe.

"Breathe, Tanjirou."

He was standing behind him, his back against the other's as the world rumbled with destruction and bloodshed.

"Grasp it," he said. "Use it."

Become the _hisha _piece on a _shogi _board. Become the flying chariot.

And once you enter enemy territory-

You'd be unstoppable, turning into the _ryuo_, the dragon king.

So use it. Pump all the air into the muscles in your legs. Put all the power into your legs. All of it. You remember, don't you?

Because you did it once. Fighting against Upper Moon Four, you did it once, and you sliced off the demon's head. You pushed onward towards the rising sun, your back shielding all those you love.

Tanjirou.

You have done it once.

You can do it again.

_Breath of Lightning: First form._

Reaching out, he pushed his friend forward.

_Thunderclap and Flash._

* * *

**Writing the _shogi _part reminded me of the time a friend taught me how to play it (due to our similar interest in Japanese culture and anime). I immediately forgot the rules, though. Haha. (But I must say- I learned quite a lot from him regarding about the different _shogi _boards as well. It's really cool.)**

**Thank you for reading this far! I hope you enjoyed it, and please have a nice day! Next chapter, we will be going back to the present. We are nearing the end.**

**ko.**


	20. Bouquet of Flowers

**20\. Bouquet of Flowers**

The food smelled good.

It was a collection of various cuisines, all highly nutritious and delicious. Jeryy made sure that everyone in the headquarters had enough to eat- the meals were always warm and fulfilling.

... It did _smell _good, and it definitely should _taste _good, but in the end she couldn't bring herself to lift up the fork and _eat_.

_But eating is very important, Lenalee!_

Bread that was hard and dry. Soup that quickly ran cold.

_It's something you can only do when you're alive. So eat!_

Leaning back, purple eyes stared up to the ceiling. The lights were very warm, it never hurt the eyes. Gaze lingering, she later looked back down, strands of hair (it has finally grown pass her chin, her hair that was burnt away) falling from the back of her ears and into her face.

It was warm.

It was warm, and the cross-shaped stigmata marred on her ankles throbbed, aching and aching and…

She missed him very much.

* * *

He had expired in her arms. Breathing his last, beautiful burgundy finally closed, and Lenalee felt her breathing hitch.

"... Tanjirou?" She tried. Her golem hovered beside her. "Tanjirou?"

It was barely the break of dawn. Cold air bit into skin, and she felt her throat and lungs hurting. Her chest hurt. Breathing out shakily, white mist escaped from the gap between her teeth.

Tanjirou wasn't waking up. A gentle smile was on his lips, face littered with scratches and scars and bruises and blood, undried, stuck in his hair.

She stared his unmoving face, his unmoving hands. His chest, so still. Unmoving, not breathing.

Tanjirou always breathed. He said it was extremely crucial, knowing how to breathe.

"Tanjirou?"

What surrounded them was what was left of a war. AKUMA remains, so poisonous and broken, breaking into ashes. Everywhere. The wind was drifting. The black blade, gleaming and sharp, remained limp in her older brother's hand. His hand was full of calluses and broken skin.

She hugged him tighter. His body was getting cold.

"... There's…" That was Allen's voice. "All of the AKUMA that was here, they were all... " He paused. His voice was very weak, almost fragile. The last time she heard his voice so was at Edo, under the bridge, her hand placed on his cheek and a tear slipping down a silver eye-

"They're all destroyed. Tanjirou destroyed all of them."

Lenalee's shoulders shook. She curled into her herself, arms sore carrying the weight of her eclipsed sun.

"He did, didn't he," she replied, voice cracked and strained. Tanjirou, eyes closed, looked so serene. At peace. "He really did."

Looking up, watering purple met Allen's silver, and Lenalee mustered a smile, her chest tight and-

They both remained silent. Grieving. Allen lost his master so earlier ago, this was breaking the both of them.

_But at least he is finally released_, the words were left unsaid. _He's finally free_.

Shivering, Allen stood beside Lenalee, the night sky slowly fading into a hue to purple. They stayed there, cool air brushing against their noses and joints stiff from the cold. Reinforcements soon arrived. Lenalee was not sure how much time has passed since then.

Allen remained by her side all the way through. The staff quickly cleaned up the scene, golems flying about. Even Lavi and Bookman arrived, they had just came back from a mission. Lavi looked so sad.

_And what of Kanda? _She nearly teared up at the thought. Former tears had already dried.

When the CROWs came to take Tanjirou's body, Lenalee was reluctant to let go. Her lips were so chapped, and when it came to her, she suddenly realized how tired she was. Tanjirou would immediately notice with his keen sense of smell, jumping onto his feet and telling her to go and… Rest... Up.

Boots found itself into Lenalee's sight. Link stood close, his face blank from any hint of emotion. Allen stared at the inspector with a look of surprise.

"One minute. Give them air."

They complied. One minute, that was, and Lenalee never felt as grateful as she had until now. The look on the inspector's face was grave and serious, an odd chill crawling in the air. He turned away, and Allen knelt beside her, a gentle hand on her shoulder.

_Such good friends._

_Such good people_.

Holding Tanjirou's body in her arms, she burned the image of his face into her eyes. To the end of life, she would never forget how he looked like. To the end of life, she would remember this one serene smile along with the words: _Set your heart ablaze. Set your heart ablaze, and live with your chest high. _

It was the break of dawn, and Tanjirou was the sun.

Kamado Tanjirou was the sun, the sun who got dragged down from the skies and the heavens... The place where he belonged.

And now he was finally home.

He was finally, truly, at home.

Hesitating for a whole second, so reluctantly, Lenalee finally let go. She watched as they carried his body away, his limp, battered body.

She choked out again, later on, in front of her oldest brother as she buried her face into her hands. She cried, weeping and so _broken_, sinking into Komui's hug as she felt him tremble, too.

Tanjirou was a good person.

He died the way he wanted to, and he was their sun. Komui paused when she asked where he would be buried at, or if he would be cremated. The silence was unsettling, so when she looked up to meet her brother's eyes, time seemed to pause. Komui shook his head.

He didn't know.

* * *

"Amazing, wasn't he?" Lavi commented. Allen shrugged. They were at a table, somewhere and probably the lobby. The Order was too big, Allen got lost more than he could count to Link's dismay.

Munching slowly on his sandwich, the white haired teen sighed, a sudden weight pulling the back of his neck down. Link was writing something in his terribly small notebook. Allen wondered how he could see, nonetheless _write _in it.

"He was," Allen murmured. Timcanpy growled quietly. He offered him a dango, which the golem devoured quickly. "I… I still can't really imagine it, though."

Pausing for a moment, his frown deepened. "He was _alone_."

When his left eye started acting up that night, a chill came over and he abruptly stood up. AKUMA. _So many_. By the time they reached the site, what met their eyes was…

An unspeakable sight.

(Machine parts, decaying flesh. AKUMA blood stained the ground, and a single figure, so strong and still, stood on the horizon, his shadow stretched far.)

Tanjirou was _strong_. His title of _general _fitted him well, but in the end, Allen's insides churned at the smell of burnt flesh and sight of crimson blood. Tanjirou's last breath.

_I'm home, everyone._

Quiet Japanese. Allen knew a little Japanese.

How long? He wanted to ask.

How long was he there, fighting nonstop... All alone?

Even Allen wouldn't be able to handle it. Millions and millions of AKUMA, _by himself_. He wouldn't be able to take it. It was too much. Edo back then was pretty bad, but at the time, Tanjirou had the others with him- General Tiedoll, Bookman, Marie, and Miranda. That was two generals and two more experienced fighters, not to mention a _time keeper_ as well.

But this time? He was truly by himself!

Allen was scared for him!

What was going on? _Why_?

The Order had gotten attacked, so many people lost their lives. And then- for such unknown reasons- his master, _mentor_, died, and now- Tanjirou? Allen despaired!

It was just too sad!

Tanjirou had wiped the ground with him, wooden blade slicing through firm bamboo. Silver had saw the sheer amount of scars marred all over the burgundy's body, the one under his chin so distinct.

Lavi told him about him, then. The reason why Tanjirou never held back no matter the situation- the reason why he always fought as if each was the last.

The reason why he was so desperate, trying to find someone to beat the Water Breathing into-

Lavi was quiet. He wasn't sure what to say next, what words to use as a response. He couldn't possibly slip up- had to heed to the old Gramps' warnings, right?

_Don't be attached_.

And if his Innocence showed signs of _changing_, then it would be over. _Lavi _would need to say goodbye, and it was the end.

And he remembered the Ark.

(He remembered Doug, _Lavi's _first friend.)

Finding himself opening his mouth, scripted lines faded away into white and he spoke out loud, his narrowed green eye, glancing at the younger teen, gentle and quiet.

"He _was _his people's legacy, y'know."

Allen stared at him, and Lavi turned away.

"He _was _his people's legacy, and he came from a very traditional family."

Link did not bother saying a word to interrupt him. He let him continue, and Lavi decided to tell him about it. Rengoku Senjuro's journals.

He talked about the contents from the worn out paper, the story told through shaky brushed strokes. The tear stains that dried on such flimsy paper. All of it. Who was Kamado Tanjirou, who was Kamado Nezuko. The vow the Fire Pillar made to his people, the meaning behind the character _metsu_...

The Demon Killing Corps and its downfall.

Allen stared at him, and when Lavi stood up to walk away, the white haired teen nodded quietly.

Lavi appreciated the silence. He already broke one too many of his clan's codes. He supposed he thought that he deserved it- to know at least a bit. Lavi was getting tired as well.

Bumping into Yu, he walked faster, and at the bottom of his heart, he hoped that Bookman wouldn't take his head.

That, and he hoped it was truly the end.

* * *

Alas, it was not, for the murkiness of the Black Order remained.

Time passed, and Central was still cruel. It was indeed still cruel, just as reality was.

Reality was cruel.

Time passed, and the room was dark and damp. He couldn't see past his own outstretched hands, his fingertips cold. Stumbling, his breathing quickened, and he realized how much his body _ached_. It _hurt_. Holding back a cry, he leaned against the cold, stone wall.

Where was he? It was cold, and he didn't like it. His heart was hurting so badly. Hugging himself, he shivered. Horrible. He felt horrible.

He coughed, and his throat seared with pain.

He coughed again, this time heaving over as he threw up nothing but- he didn't know. Something burned at the back of his throat. His stomach was hurting.

He began running.

He wasn't sure where to head for, where to go- he wasn't even sure how much time had passed since then. But- but then he saw them. The sight caught his eyes almost immediately, for they were practically glowing. Blue spider lilies. The buds were poking through the cracks on the ground, and- and Tanjirou found himself crying.

"Stop," he said hoarsely, voice raw and shaking his head. The soles of his feet were bleeding- bare feet had constantly hit the ground when he was running. "Stop it!"

The flowers never stopped. Soon there was a field of blue, and Tanjirou wanted to _scream_.

"Stop growing, go away! Let me go home!"

He fell on his knees, fingers digging into the ground and _hurting_-

"Stop, stop, stop! I don't- please-"

There was a cube in his hands. It was a little, curious thing, almost hovering there, right above his palms. Wide burgundy stared at it, and hysteria grew.

He wanted to tear himself apart. He wanted to rip out _every single flower _that dared to grow by his feet. To break out of this prison, for the earth to stop spinning, for his world to _end_.

_Nezuko, Nezuko. Where are you? Where is everyone? I can't find Mother and Father, I don't see any of you! I can't-!_

"Please," voice so terribly _broken_, he plead. He begged the heavens above, to every _kami _he could think of- even the _Innocence _itself. It was too strong, the bouquet of flowers. It was simply too strong. "Just let me go."

It melted.

It melted, and it waited, and Tanjirou despaired.

Knelt over sobbing, his childhood's gentle lullaby hummed quietly but so loudly in his head.

_Knock knock, little bunny… From the little mountain._

_Why are your ears so long?_

He wanted to hear their voices. He wanted to feel their presence. He wanted to see them again, he wanted to- he _needed _to-!

There was no one standing behind him anymore.

Everyone was gone.

* * *

**About three more chapters until the end. Thank you for reading!**

**ko.**


	21. Kind One's Soul

**21\. Kind One's Soul**

"A _time keeper_," it was a hushed whisper that reached her ears first.

Blinking, Miranda stopped in her tracks before she turned the slightest to the side. It was cold, and snow seemed to be soon falling. Her tired body was wrapped comfortably within a thick jacket, and at that thought, her mind sulkily wandered back to the image of her dear friend and savior, a young man who was somewhere out there, unsafe, and without a roof over his head.

Bat wings flapped as her golem hovered at the left of her head. She blinked again, taking notice of a silhouette among the crowds of gentlemen, ladies, and children alike.

"Miranda?" Marie placed a gentle hand on her shoulder, blind eyes closed and concerned. Miranda quickly shook her head.

"Oh, no. It's nothing," she quickly smiled, pushing back stray strands of hair away. Resuming their journey, this odd sensation continued to ebb at the edge of her mind.

Faraway, among the crowd of the town's folks, there stood a young child.

"A _time keeper_," he whispered again, this time quieter, surer. _Firmer_.

The red marks over his forehead and face told a story of the olden ages, and with such care, he took a small step forward.

It reminded him of his journey away from home, dead in the night, and even farther from the temple he was supposed to go.

It made him think of his family that left too early, along with the little one's hand he was never able to hold in his own. He thought of his twin, his older brother who was so kind to him. He thought about his strong and gentle mother, of Sumiyoshi and his wife and daughter.

_Hug_, Sumire chirped. The skies were blue above them.

The little feelings kept him going.

He followed.

* * *

Timcanpy was growling again.

Throwing the dice, silver watched carefully as the edge hit the wood of the table with a sharp _thud_. With a smug grin, he glanced up to his opponent as the entire bar broke in thundering exasperation.

Ah, such a wonderful sound. Swindling the money out of these big guys never felt better than ever before.

"You cheated," the big nosed drunk gritted out, face flushed and apple red. Allen raised an eyebrow.

"You _cheated_," he said again.

The young adult smiled politely, fingers woven together and left hand carefully covered. "Sir, I'm sure you are mistaken… Cheating in a friendly game of dice takes out the fun of it! Come on, let's have another round!"

The drunk answered with a table flipped over Allen's head.

He took that as his cue to get the hell out of there.

Snatching up his briefcase, he quickly jumped over another table and skidded out of the tavern. There were hints of snow as specks of white camouflage in his hair. Timcanpy took flight.

Odd sense of glee overcame him. Running as the soles of his boots hit stone ground, wind sliced at the surface of his nose and cheeks. His eyes were getting dry. Cold and exciting, it was the motion of action.

Adrenaline, he was drunk with it.

Pushing pass crowds, the pursuers eventually gave up and Allen allowed himself to smile at their receding backs. Turning away, he took another step forward, and-

Walking into an empty alleyway, his knees hit the ground and he leaned his head against the wall. He shivered.

It was cold.

Coughing, he rubbed his hands together. His lips were chapped. "Damn… In the end, I'm still not used to this."

A month. A month has passed since he left Baba's, Mana's old clown supplies carried in his possession. A month has passed since then.

He was no longer an exorcist in name.

(But hell he would never be one in heart. Allen refused to give up.)

(He was an exorcist, no matter who or what would say.)

Glancing warily at his left arm, the cold numb and unnoticeable, he mentally relaxed at its featherless sight. Gripping his hands into fists, he pushed himself off the ground. His heart was beating very fast.

Funny. Years ago, there was the same pressure in his chest combined with the frostiness of the air. Specks of white was falling like right now- and it was then Mana taught him about the breathing. How to breathe properly. The Full Concentration Breathe, it was later labeled, the day when the headquarters was attacked.

It was amazing how the way you breathed changed everything, from an extra step forward to the one last dive to swing your sword and fight.

His stomach ached. Frowning, he blinked furiously, his eyes tired as the white of the snow were too bright to his liking. He was hungry- hell, he was always hungry. Biting the insides of his cheeks, Allen exhaled, the side of his head still pressed against the wall. Cold was seeping into his bones.

Damn.

Just distantly, he could almost smell it. Jeryy's cooking. The warmth of the Black Order's cafeteria. The light was tricking his eyes, he was seeing things.

_Don't think about it_, he told himself. _Don't think about it._

_Just keep walking. Don't stop. Don't get caught. _

...

_Don't ever get caught._

(The Apocryphos is still at your tail, Allen.)

Timcanpy growled. The corners of his lips twitching into a smile, Allen turned around to his companion, the golem hovering beside him.

"Yeah, I know. We should get going-"

Timcanpy growled again, this time louder, almost panicked. Bumping his small body against the white haired teen's nose, Allen sputtered with a start.

"Timcanpy? Hey, what are you-"

The golem nudging and pushing his face to turn his head, Allen stared at the ground deeper into the alleyway. It was when he fell silent Timcanpy stopped and hovered back, a small noise still humming in the golem.

Allen stared.

Beyond boxes and bags of trash, deeper and deeper into the path, there was white, and…

Blue.

A pressure ghosted on the center of his forehead. It was the remnants of the past. Allen remembered how the swordsman stood and smiled at him, card-like earrings swaying at the motion.

… Blue spider lilies. They were small, almost unnoticeable unless you look for it carefully.

It made a trail, and following it, silver eyes widening at the cold air biting into skin with each dragging step forward, his heart hammered in his chest. Quicker, quicker, and quicker.

Blue spider lilies.

_Blue spider lilies_.

He nearly forgot about him. He died so long ago, after all.

A smaller Alma was smiling brightly, introducing Kanda to the reanimated demon slayer. Allen remembered seeing how they interacted, how Tanjirou taught them the Water Breathing, and how Tanjirou forgot about them every instance he turned his head.

The cursed history, all shown to him on a silver platter. The Earl's ploy to make Allen voluntarily leave the Black Order.

He pushed back a choked cry, and at the end of the trail, there was Tanjirou.

_Tanjirou is a very kind person_, Lenalee had said. The rattling of the train soothed the heart. They were on their way to the rewinding town of Germany.

_I think you'll get along with him very well!_

...

Buried within boxes and trash and snow, wide, wary eyes were staring right back at him. There was Tanjirou, his hair so disheveled and skin too pale. His arms were wrapped around a familiar blackened sword, and Allen stood before him, his legs aching and chest hurting. There were so many blue spider lilies growing around him. Just briefly, it was as if they were glowing, as well.

But… But _Tanjirou_.

Tanjirou, who was very much dead the last time he saw him, the general who took on millions of AKUMA with a single blade. The one who believed in him, the one who supported everyone. The touch of sunshine, many had described him. The sun who died.

Lenalee's precious family.

_Tanjirou_.

Allen stared, and there were no recognition in the older's eyes.

And suddenly, Allen wanted to break down and cry.

"Who… You…?"

A trembling voice. It was so quiet and timid. Timcanpy bumped himself against Tanjirou's leg. The swordsman was hiding under the shadow on the brick walls, hidden behind crates and boxes and trash.

… He should've known.

Allen should've known, the moment Central came in and took his body away. He should've known, the moment he saw the look on Lavi's face when he heard the news, the hesitance in Komui's eyes and _Reever_.

Reever had never looked so sad, that day, at the American Branch. It was surreal, the Noahs toying with everyone and everything going wrong. Allen got stabbed. Alma self destructed. Kanda...

Those of the Black Order present that day nearly died at the cost of bloodshed and terrible flashbacks. Alma had reached out with a sad smile and he was actually _that woman _and Kanda didn't know, didn't realize. Maybe he knew now, Allen was not sure.

But the thing was- he would let himself be imprisoned over and over again for the sake of their feelings. He would let himself be exiled or trialed or whatever if it ensured the safety of _those two_ once more.

And it was the same for him. It was a slow realization.

_You've been through a lot._

Not must've, not probably. The day they first met made a huge impression on him, and Allen, too, couldn't help but think they had met before. This sense of familiarity, it was strong.

Aching.

Bending down, one knee touching the cold ground, Allen looked straight into the other's eyes.

_Gather yourself. Keep yourself together._

Looking closely, Tanjirou looked worse than himself. He was too pale and his cheeks were sunken in. Bangs that we're usually pushed back were now all over the place- but most importantly, his eyes.

They were so sad. So confused- _scared_.

A lost child, and Allen saw himself.

… For their sake, and maybe his own as well. Allen took in a deep breath and opened his mouth.

Because Tanjirou being here meant he managed to get away. Because Tanjirou out here without an exorcist uniform meant that he _managed to get away_.

Even though he couldn't remember well, Tanjirou got himself out of _that place_.

"My name is Allen," he said. "What is yours?"

* * *

When Allen first found out about the truth, it was like a brick hitting the bottom on his stomach. He remembered clearly, that was, how he died.

And it occurred to him that he died many times. _That _wasn't the first time.

Him standing alone with his shadow stretched far, his body barely held together and sword limp in his hand. He destroyed all of the AKUMAs presented that day.

The Black Order tried to bring back the dead. They were successful, and they tried to make artificial apostles using the brains of the dead exorcists, because not _anyone _could possess Innocence. They had to be chosen, and Allen remembered the look on Lenalee's face as they watched what was left of Suman as he fell from the red skies above.

Apparently, Tanjirou was a very famous swordsman years ago, and he belonged to this organization that fought… Something. The sword he was using was Innocence, and the Black Order somehow found his body and reanimated it.

Allen couldn't understand when he watched the events in the sixth lab unfold. Seeing Tanjirou again- especially after so long- was a surprise. A dreadful one, seeing how Kanda came to life.

Alma was jumping. He had this big smile on his face, ecstasy and excitement unable to be contained. Allen watched after him as the boy tugged a smaller Kanda along, the kid scrunching up his face with annoyance.

"Come on, Yu! There's someone you gotta meet."

Road was standing beside him, her arms hooked around his right, and she, as well, was gazing intently at the scene playing before them. He assumed that the Noah already knew the details about this- all of this- but the moment Alma swung open the door, she fell silent as well.

"Tryde's family," she murmured, and Allen tried his best not to glance at her. He kept himself facing forward.

They watched as Tanjirou forgot and forgot again.

* * *

"... Say, how old are you?" Allen had asked. He got the older some second handed clothes- they were in a much better condition than the attire he had earlier.

Tanjirou, who's forehead was covered with messy bangs and hair all over the place, seemed to count in his head. "Eight…" He tasted the word in his mouth. "Eight!"

Allen tried to hide a wince. "... I see! So Tanjirou is eight."

Tanjirou smiled back. "How…" Mumbling a little bit in Japanese, he continued. "Erm… Old… Ah! _Nii-san_, how many years?"

"Sixteen, I think." The train ran passed them as they walked along the tracks. Wind gently pushed them forward.

"Sixteen?!" Tanjirou exclaimed, eyes wide and full of wonder. "Sixteen… Sixteen?"

Allen laughed lightly. "Uh, _juu… Juuroku_. Yeah. _Juuroku-sai_."

"Ah!"

They walked some more.

"How old… Timcanpy?"

"Eh, I'm not sure~ Timcanpy, how old _are _you?" A growl. They laughed. Tanjirou giggled brightly.

The next day, Tanjirou was five. A few days after that, he was ten.

He asked for his father and mother, and Allen was not sure what to say.

Soon enough, Allen found a pattern. Tanjirou was never older than a decade.

* * *

As much as Allen didn't want to admit, he was having dreams.

It was terrifying by how peaceful they were. He tried to wake up as quickly as possible.

"I got… Little sister! Her name is… Nezuko!"

Allen smiled brightly. "I see!"

They helped push a wagon off of muddy tracks. In return, they were offered a ride with the friendly performers. As the wheels turned and scenery shifted, Tanjirou happily talked about his newest family member. He described how her eyes were so pink and how small her hands were, and as the eldest child, he talked about how he would be a good big brother for her, the girl named Nezuko.

Allen never doubted him for a second.

"Siblings… Must be nice, huh," he stated simply, turning his head away to watch the drifting snow.

"Mmhm!" Legs swung as Tanjirou rocked back and forth on his seat. "I miss Nezuko. I want to buy a new _kimono _for her."

"Ah."

"Shigeru and Hanako both wanted to get her one, too. Because Nezuko gave her spare ones to them as jackets. They're such good children, all of them."

Allen's knuckles went white. He chuckled softly. "I see."

_I see _became a catchphrase. Allen was not sure what to say in response, sometimes.

But then… Then again, he _was _Allen.

Blue spider lilies were trailing behind them. Wherever Tanjirou was, blue spider lilies would bloom at his feet.

Cursed flowers. Allen remained by Tanjirou's side.

He took care of Mana, after all.

* * *

Because after the incident at the circus, Mana couldn't quite remember well, as well. Since then, he constantly mixed up Allen with red arm.

_Why are you so tall, Allen?_

_What happened to your tail, Allen?_

And soon after, he began laughing like a child, and "Allen" took it to himself to always be by Mana's side. It was all to make sure that he would be alright.

So the familiarity of the situation was insanely strong. It hurt thinking about it, every time he turned and saw the look in Tanjirou's eyes. (Because it was the same. The same look in his foster father's kind ember, and it was killing him.)

Tanjirou does not remember Lenalee or Komui or anyone. This was Tanjirou of the past, and no one Tanjirou knew existed anymore. They were people from ages away, filed away in documents and paper, and-

It hurt.

Really.

Allen winced in pain as his arm feathered with streaks of white and emerald. Panic shot through his veins as he willed himself to not scream- Tanjirou was still asleep.

Tears gathered. The Apocryphos was close. They had to get _away_, and Tanjirou was a child. He was not the general whose back was like a pillar. He was a _child_.

Allen already knew of the implications of bringing Tanjirou along. He knew about it and accepted it, because like himself, there was nowhere Tanjirou could possibly go. If Tanjirou returned to the Black Order, the cycle would continue. If he left Tanjirou where he was, then pursuers might find him or he would just… Die.

He didn't believe in fate, but it suddenly came to him that if he never ran away from the Black Order that night, if he never chose to become a "traitor" for the sake of Kanda and Alma...

What would be of Tanjirou, then?

_Crown Clown, please stop_.

He tried to carry Tanjirou on his back. Teeth clenched as his feet dragged behind him.

His insides panged with familiar pain.

Noahification was on its way.

_Please, just one more minute. One more second_.

_One more step_, _I beg of you._

_Please._

_Please._

_Please!_

"... Mister?" Tanjirou was sleeping. He was sleep talking.

Tanjirou was awake, actually. He looked very worried, a child's innocence in the depths of his eyes. His hands were clutching the cloth on Allen's back.

Getting off, Tanjirou stood beside Allen as the younger writhed in pain, clutching his left arm with his right. There was a sense of panic and dread, and for a moment, Allen really wanted it all to end.

But he couldn't. He couldn't possibly do so.

There was still so much he had to do, after all.

"Mister?" Tanjirou said again, a hesitant hand near Allen's shoulder. Such a kind child, really. Tanjirou was too kind. Timcanpy entered his vision with panic. Allen gazed at his yellow, winged companion.

Timcanpy… And if it weren't for Timcanpy, then Allen would have never found Tanjirou, his friend and savior who was left without a roof over his head.

If it weren't for Timcanpy, then…

...

One breath and then the next.

_Calm your nerves. _

He thought about the happy days.

_It's going to be alright._

Allen Walker mustered up a smile. Beaming up at Tanjirou, reassurance seeped into his wavering demeanor. He feigned courage.

"Hey, I'm fine! Don't worry," stepping forward with his luggage swung over his shoulder, his left arm stopped acting up. "Let's go, Tanjirou."

It became a long journey through days of winter, starting with a timid hand being taken by another.

(And one day, he hoped the dreams would stop coming. Dreams of a stretched out field of wheat and the feeling of peace. There was also the smell of a certain tea. Lemon, it must had been.)

(Yellow was caught in his vision and strange eyes were staring at him.)

(He was sitting on the porch of a strange house. He was sitting beside someone who was faded out.)

(He said a strange name, and he turned to look at the figureless friend.)

("Kibutsuji Muzan was because of me.")

And for the first time, he had a nightmare.

There was blood on his hands and a familiar sword stabbed through a black haired man. The yellow triangle-patterned _haori _he was wearing was bright under dreary skies.

The black haired man was whispering something quietly. The sword in his hands felt heavy.

"I know what the Blue Spider Lily really is, now. I know that you knew as well."

Head raised, piercing, angry gold met his.

"Hey. Don't you dare abandon him," red was dripping down from his chin. "Don't you _ever _abandon him, you damned bastard."

He looked near in tears, and Allen… Allen wondered.

Who was this man? What was he talking about?

Rain began to fall. The world swirling in front of him, he was alone again.

_Don't you dare abandon him_.

He found himself somewhere familiar yet faraway again, and at last, the young adult wondered when he would wake up from this strange, haunting dream.

Perhaps it was snowing. He felt so small under these distant skies.

Allen closed his eyes.

...

He wanted to cry.

* * *

**Meanwhile, here I am, dreading for the next chapter of Kimetsu. Sorry for the long wait! My editor was not very helpful helping my endeavor to release this chapter. The next will be called "There is Something You Must Cut." Please look forward to it! (But boy this chapter was so hard to write www. Once again, sorry for the long wait!)**

**Thank you for reading!**

**ko.**


	22. There is Something You Must Cut I

**22\. There is Something You Must Cut | Part I  
****Retrace and Recede, There is Nothing to be Deceived.**

Once upon a time, under a smiling moon, the Fire Pillar met the Millennium Earl before Tomioka Giyuu's gave.

It was an unpreventable tragedy, even if they had not crossed paths that day.

* * *

The twin scars on the underside of Tanjirou's wrists were staring back at him. They looked as if right above his veins, and the familiarity of the scars were strangling- Allen gazed at them with sad eyes.

Marks like crosses engraved into flesh. Marks that resembled the ones on Lenalee's legs.

The next stage of an equipment type anti-AKUMA weapon.

Something cold gripped Allen's left shoulder, and he tried to hold back a shiver.

"... Does it hurt?"

Tanjirou's lips were pressed into a thin line, almost pouting- he looked so young, too young.

"Kind… Kind of," Tanjirou said slowly, eyes drilling holes at the scars. "Throbbing, a bit. I don't know…"

He looked up shyly.

"Mister, do you know what it is?"

The world was closing in so rapidly. Allen held his breath.

"... I… I don't know."

Tanjirou's shoulders drooped, and-

Allen wore a bright grin. "Let's figure it out together, shall we?"

When burgundy eyes widened and beamed at him, Allen couldn't help but feel something breaking in his heart.

A dilemma.

"Hey, let's… Let's get something to eat, alright? It's getting late, I'm starving!" Allen said, voice light and extending a hand to the other. Blinking, Tanjirou brightened and took it.

After a few rounds of poker, Allen got them enough food for the night.

* * *

Allen had always considered Tanjirou, Kamado Tanjirou Lee, as a very amazing individual. Despite his small frame, something about the swordsman made the sight of his back clad with breathtaking reassurance. It was dazzling, and like that time when the headquarters was attacked, Allen couldn't help but only stare.

He remembered the pressure on his face as the general leaped down from the edge, wind carrying him and blade slicing through dark energy. Water spewed into life as a dragon formed, Tanjirou dancing pass the level four with concise, light steps. His feet barely touched the ground, and when they finally do, it shook the world with the strength of a beast.

A master swordsman.

And a very kind soul.

So when the teen finally learned of his past, he couldn't help but be heartbroken by the fact.

Like an AKUMA, Tanjirou was brought back to life. But unlike AKUMA, instead of Dark Matter, it was Innocence that tied his soul to the living plane.

Innocence was supposed to be something that brought hope. Hope to defeat AKUMA. Hope to free AKUMA. Hope to defeat the Noah. Hope for hoping, hope to save others from tragedies.

(A distant look as the Fire Pillar stood before his people.

"I will slay all of them.")

Like an AKUMA, Tanjirou was brought back to this world by the Innocence. Again and again, and he wondered if this would keep going until the swordsman's body should be fully destroyed.

Allen couldn't understand. A finger from his left arm twitched, and he couldn't help but be angry and sad.

_Why, _he thought. _Why?_

_Please. Tell me._

_I need to know why._

The crowd cheered as the clown tossed up a hoop and then another. He hopped onto one leg and smiled and pulled out colorful paper. A gust of wind blew, and Allen looked up. The sky was very blue during this winter day.

He took a bow. His audience clapped.

Five minutes later, hand holding onto the other's and the two on their way, AKUMA peeked out from every corner.

A journey of three was vastly different compared to one of two. It was harder, much harder, but Allen could take it.

He needed to.

* * *

But as it turned out, the thought of "I have to protect Tanjirou now," was… Not really needed, actually.

He still had to keep an eye on him, of course, but he didn't need to baby him or anything. Allen realized.

Because Tanjirou was once Lenalee's older brother as well.

A reliable older brother. And in another life, the eldest son... Of a traditional family.

Carrying boxes with careful steps, Tanjirou helped with simple errands without complaint. He was eager to help, actually. Always cheerful.

"I heard honey with ginger good for throat!" He chirped at another errand boy who had knelt down coughing. Allen, once again, could only stared at him amazed.

Without needing to be asked, without hesitation or a second glance, Tanjirou immediately acted when one needed help.

A very kind child he was, Tanjirou of the past. Allen stepped forward and supported the sickly child.

One thing Allen was concerned about was the fact that he was _too _kind. Too trusting. He had such _human _qualities, but… The places Allen was taking him to. They were not exactly warm, not to mention safe, and it hurt thinking about all the bad things that could happen.

_But don't think so negatively._

_But don't think so naively._

Taking off his worn out scarf, he wrapped it around the errand boy's neck. When the kid hesitated, Allen only beamed and stepped back. He made no motion to get nearer to the kid.

"Let's go, Tanjirou."

"Ah! Okay. Bye bye!"

A blue spider lily had begun to grow. The kid stared in awe at their receding backs.

* * *

They went to places, or more specifically, Allen took Tanjirou to places. Tanjirou had no idea where he was or where to go, and as much as Allen felt how _wrong _it was, he couldn't possibly just leave him alone!

So he took him to places.

(Lenalee was going to skin him alive for giving Tanjirou a tour around the redlight district, he _knew _it.)

But really, he had no choice! It was his only source for cash! Poker! How else was he going to earn a living (and get those debt sharks off his tail)? Aside from occasional street performances, that was.

"Are we going to dress up like women?" Tanjirou asked a bit too enthusiastically.

Allen stared at him.

"... Where did you get that idea from?"

Card-like earrings swayed as the swordsman shrugged.

Tanjirou's weapon was wrapped up neatly with a discarded tablecloth. While Allen never intended to stay at one place for too long, the spider lilies that would grow at his companion's feet only ushered them to move quicker.

They had three pursuers: the Noahs, the Black Order, and then the Apocryphos. There was no way Central didn't take notice of Tanjirou's disappearance, especially after everything they had done to revive the demon slayer.

(Not to mention the Second Exorcist Project. Thinking about it just made him want to throw up.)

And… Innocence. In the end, that sword carried on Tanjirou's back was still Innocence. An anti-AKUMA weapon and potential heart.

The Blue Spider Lily, Zuu Mei Chang had called it. The flower that granted wishes.

At least they- the Black Order- probably don't know that Allen and Tanjirou were traveling together yet. Allen planned to keep it that way.

He hardened his resolve when AKUMA attacked. Cold sweat had broken out the first time they appeared when Tanjirou was by his side.

But now- but _now_.

_Fourteenth_, they chanted.

_Fourteenth_, they called.

Allen, out of costume, pulled out _Edge End_ with his white cloak acting as armor.

_Breathe_, he remembered.

_Breathe_, Mana had said. The old perriot was smiling gently as snow fell.

Cool air rushing through his throat to his lungs, Allen breathed. In detail, he saw the souls of the AKUMA, weeping and weeping and weeping.

Tanjirou sliced through an AKUMA with a trained blade. A flicker of red lit up and vanished.

Tanjirou never forgot how to fight as well.

* * *

They were running. The first time the AKUMA had appeared, the first time they did when Tanjirou was with him, Allen had broken out into a cold sweat.

Of course he had thought of the possibility- AKUMA were basically waiting at every corner.

But- but _still_.

It was _terrifying_, because Tanjirou was a _child_.

"Ah!" The swordsman squeaked as Allen quickly grabbed his arm and _ran_. It was dangerous, _too _dangerous. His left eye was throbbing, and Allen _forgot_.

AKUMA. _AKUMA_. They were his reason. His reason to fight.

_AKUMA_.

"Mister!" They continued running. Run to somewhere safe. Run to somewhere far- there were too many people here. They had to get away.

Allen had to get away.

Almost, _just _almost, Allen let go. There was a nice elderly woman they had helped back in that town. She and her son moved around a lot, maybe Tanjirou could stay with them. Maybe. Tanjirou's sense of smell was also very good, he would tell if people were bad and- well- _stuff_. Right?

But before he could, Tanjirou spoke.

"Mister, the _nii-chan _looks in pain."

Allen stared at him, and maybe a dozen AKUMA crept out from the shadows around them. His left eye was throbbing, but wide eyes could only stare.

The look in Tanjirou's eyes were odd. It was as if they were… Clear. Wide and clear.

And… And the mark on his forehead.

It was… Swirling. Like flames.

And suddenly, Tanjirou was a master swordsman, blackened blade drawn and turning red.

They destroyed the AKUMA and freed their souls.

* * *

There was always a pattern with Tanjirou's memories. He was always a kid, never older than ten, but sometimes, he still gave off this air of… Allen didn't know. Something. He still acted the same way, though. Like a bright child, but then… He would suddenly have this a_ir_ around him, and burgundy eyes were not so young anymore. The Japanese man would be gazing outside their room's dusty and clouded window, and something about him made him seemed so _old_.

Sometimes, Tanjirou scared Allen.

"Tanjirou?" Allen would start, eyes blinking away exhaustion as he got up from his spot on the couch. He let Tanjirou have the bed because he was still injured and weakened, despite the older's complaints.

Tanjirou hummed, still gazing outside, somewhere. Allen wasn't sure where, and he wasn't certain if he wanted to know.

Then just as abruptly, age was blinked away as Tanjirou turned around, a child's innocent gaze back in his eyes.

"Go to sleep, alright? Tomorrow will be a long day."

Tanjirou beamed in response, nodding as he sunk back into the bed. There were strings of moonlight trickling in from the window.

"_Oyasumi nasai_," Tanjirou whispered. Allen recognized that phrase.

"Goodnight_,_" he replied.

The next day arrived. They quickly left the inn.

* * *

… It was still a funny thought, though.

Allen didn't want to think about it, but… Holding back an exasperated cry, he suddenly couldn't find the end of this strange tunnel.

How was this going to end? He didn't know.

How long could he still go?

A muted whimper. Allen stopped in his tracks.

Tanjirou had his fingers tangled in burgundy hair, tugging the tufts as if he was testing how strong he had to pull for the hairs to fall off-

"Hey," Allen tried to pry the fingers away from poor, burgundy strands. "Let go?"

Tanjirou had such a sad, confused expression on his face.

"Mister, my head hurts."

Allen frowned. Bending down to sit beside him, the runaway exorcist noticed how small Tanjirou seemed. Timcanpy made a quiet, concerned whine as it pushed itself gently against Tanjirou's head.

It sparked an idea, and Allen showed him a magic trick.

(A simple one, he must say- but he pulled out one red ball, and suddenly, there were four…)

Tanjirou's slightly eased expression let Allen knew it worked- albeit a bit, but enough for now.

…

That was right. Tanjirou's sense of smell.

Allen stared at him for a very long time.

For Tanjirou's sake, he tried to get himself happy and look at things from the bright side. Easier said than done, but it was better than nothing, right?

Tanjirou stared back at him.

With a gentle hand, the eldest son of the Kamado Family ruffled up white hair with a small, kind smile.

"There, there."

Allen wiped away tears with the sleeve of his jacket. He nodded, later covering his face with both of his hands.

How embarrassing, really.

* * *

He was having a dream.

Looking down to his hands, he noticed how sluggish he was feeling. It was an odd sensation.

Light crept out from the edges of the window. Silver gazed out of the window.

There was a stretching field of gold and his breathing hitched. It would keep happening, wouldn't it. This scenery. It would keep appearing.

Allen made his suspicions. It was the Fourteenth, wasn't it? His memories.

Allen was disappearing.

Placing a weak hand on the glass plane, he stifled back tears. It hurt. His eyes hurt and everywhere was in pain. Numbing. He dragged his hand down until it hit the window sill.

Dust flew. It was like sparkles of gold as they drifted about. They flew into the dimly lit room, and outside was a golden horizon. He hated this sight.

It was so, terribly peaceful.

Serene.

* * *

Debris and destruction was present during the incident of Alma Karma. Many people almost died and Kanda went on being reckless. Cloaked with Crown Clown, Allen tried to protect the defenseless.

Alma and Kanda were yelling at each other. It was this strange, deafening argument.

Kanda stopped listening, too.

When Zuu Mei Chang gave Allen part of his life to heal his broken leg, the elder's voice shook when he asked the younger a favor. He asked Allen to help them, Kanda and Alma, and he told him a secret. Allen wasn't actually sure if it was really a secret, though.

"The blackened blade is called the _Blue Spider Lily_. It is a flower that grants wishes."

The corners of old eyes crinkled.

"But the name Tanjirou gave it was _Metsu_, because of the character that was carved into it. I've committed too many crimes. Please, help them. Help Yu."

Allen eyed the blackened blade curiously. They were peeling the skin off potatoes.

At first, Tanjirou had clumsily attempted to handle the knife. After a few tries, the motion became smoother, and he happily showed Allen a perfectly peeled potato. Allen taught him a few other tricks after that, the older diligently paying attention and absorbing the information.

The next day, to Allen's surprise, Tanjirou was twelve.

There was a frown on his face, and with a tilt of his head, he looked at the runaway exorcist.

"It's strange. There's this… Other scent."

Allen blinked at him.

"It smells familiar."

Allen ran a hand through white hair. "A familiar scent, huh. Where is it coming from?"

Tanjirou continued to stare at him, and then he shook his head.

He later learned that Tanjirou's father had passed away when he was twelve. Allen gave him his condolences. Mana had died when he was twelve as well.

"Nezuko works hard. I hope she is okay."

"... I hope so as well."

Tanjirou could probably smell the wavering emotion drifting off from Allen. The burgundy haired swordsman gave him a kind, knowing smile.

The next day, Tanjirou was nine. And much later, Allen realized that it was just that Tanjirou forgot what was the number of his age, but he was actually the same person every day. Albeit, he acted slightly different from time to time, but still.

Allen was never one to think of theories or anything. Lavi was the one who did that, after all. Or Komui.

And suddenly, it was sad thinking about that.

* * *

They went to a busy city next. And then a smaller village. They hid among caravans, and before finders went to the carriage they were lurking at, they quickly ran away. It was a close call, blue spider lilies were threatening to grow.

"Do you know the… See… See-through world?" Tanjirou asked one day. Allen shook his head.

Like an excited child, Tanjirou talked about it. His father, Kamado Tanjuro, had told him about that world. You had to breathe right to enter it, and Allen could only stare in amazement.

The see-through world. He thought about the clear and seeing eyes that Tanjirou had, the scar on his forehead swirling into flames. Was it… That?

Tanjirou could see the souls of AKUMA, too.

Allen paused.

"... Can you enter that world?"

Tanjirou laughed. "Not yet, I don't think! I have to train very hard, like Father said!"

"Ah."

Maybe it was instinctive. Allen didn't know.

He tried breathing.

* * *

What hurt the most was actually the thought of Kamado Tanjirou Lee's death. Tanjirou wasn't him anymore- he had no memory of Lenalee or anyone. But the memories he _does _have was ones from the past. The far past.

Kamado Tanjirou Lee was no more, and it hurt thinking about that.

"Are you… Okay?"

Allen tried to smile. "Ah… Just a bit under the weather."

Tanjirou gasped, and before he could run off to get medicine or whatever, Allen quickly stopped him.

When snow started to fall, it made Allen think of the Ark. The day when they were trapped in it was absolutely terrifying. The Millennium Earl wanted to get rid of Lenalee, and Tyki made it into a game.

And it was also when _that song _spilled into his mind, and it was also when Allen realized.

There was something planted in his head. He did not like it.

Opening a gate back to reality, they were met with a tearful hug as Allen saw flickers of light floating like stars and snow. Kamado Tanjirou Lee hugged them so tightly, and he was crying.

He said something in Japanese. He kept saying it like a prayer, like thanks.

_Thank the gods, _Allen later translated in his mind. He softly returned the hug.

When Lenalee was sobbing as well, her hands trembling and hanging onto Tanjirou's coat, Tanjirou cried harder, his adopted sister held tightly in his they returned to the Black Order, Komui nearly threw himself at them. He was stopped by the Head Nurse, who was seething at the number of broken bones they all had.

They never laughed so happily compared to that day. Everyone was so, _so _relieved, and Allen had felt this sense of bliss.

His left arm came back, and he could continue fighting. He was able to continue living.

The cafeteria was warm, so was his family's presence. They were content.

Family, what a word. Allen had a family.

* * *

He dreamed of a storm.

During Alma Karma, Reever looked miserable. There was hurt behind his eyes, and Allen remembered how he was friends with Tanjirou.

Witnessing the sixth lab made his head spin. And at that thought, Reever, as a head scientist from the Black Order, probably knew of this. The look on his face was like Edgar Chang's, and it broke Allen's heart.

Why must this be so sad?

Kanda stabbed him with Mugen. He tried not to scream or yell or anything. He only laughed weakly, and Kanda finally _opened his eyes_.

He only stared in shock, and Allen pushed his hand forward, and it was the Fourteenth he met his eyes with the next time he woke up.

Nea. The Noah that destroys everything. _Nea_.

He saw Alma's soul later. And he realized, Alma was a lot like Tanjirou, but at the same time, he wasn't. Alma's body was Alma's, but it was artificial. Made for his brain. But to an extent, it was still his, as Tanjirou's body was also his.

He saw a woman shedding tears. She was covering her face, and a weak, whining sob reached his ears.

_Stop looking. Please. Don't look._

Alma Karma was a tragedy.

But when Allen took it to himself to love both AKUMA and humans, he promised to stop tragedies as well.

Crown Clown became a sword. He tried his best that day, and he hoped that it was enough.

Lying in the snow and to the bottom of his heart, Allen Walker (the boy who was once known as "red arm") hoped that it was enough.

* * *

"Where are you going?" Lenalee had asked. Her hair was longer, and she looked terrified. "Where are you going, Allen?"

Something was falling from the sky. It plummeted, and the sight of it was eerily familiar. Eerily familiar, and ominous at the same time.

_Lenalee, no. Don't get closer- run!_

A giant pillar stabbed the ground before him, and suddenly, everything was gone.

Allen jolts awake with a start. Breathing heavily, he leaned his back against the wall, his mouth closed tight. He took a deep breath. Tanjirou sensed his surge of panic as he looked up from the paper crane he was folding.

"Mister?"

Allen shook his head. "You know, how you like… Uh, dream of yourself falling down? Yeah, that."

Tanjirou blinked slowly. He later nodded, looking back down to his crane. He held it up to Allen. Allen took it with careful hands.

Later on, Allen found himself humming _that _song. Tanjirou was sleeping, and Allen stared out of the window, gazing at what was visible of the moon.

His left arm had stopped feathering for a while. Was it a sign? The calm before the storm, he would assume.

His left arm had stopped feathering since a week Tanjirou journeyed with him. He did not think of the implications behind it. Everything seemed so surreal, and time never stopped. The world never stopped spinning.

He still felt the cold grip on his left shoulder, though, and the searing pain when he saw who killed his master. Apocryphos' mocking gaze. He shivered at the thought.

But...

Life was… It was a little less lonely, now. Though, he missed Jeryy's cooking a lot. And the warmth from the Black Order's cafeteria. He missed them. He missed their laughter, their smiles, their "welcome homes" and everything. Even the bickering with Kanda- he missed them.

He missed them lots, and at dreams of a beautiful sunset and wind rushing through golden wheat, he realized what must be done.

The sight of Edo echoes, and as always, Timcanpy watched.

* * *

The Blue Spider Lily was a wish granting flower.

Tanjirou hummed happily as he folded and folded paper. It became a hobby. He looked forward to see his family again- imagine how big Nezuko would become! Or Rokuta. Takeo, Hanako, Shigeru. He missed them, Father and Mother.

In the dusty and musty inn, there were strings of moonlight dipping in. He should be sleeping now, since it was so late, but Tanjirou didn't quite want to sleep yet! He folded the paper again.

"_Knock knock, little bunny… From the little mountain_," he sung. "_Why are your ears so long?_"

Something dropped on the wooden planks and a _thunk _sounded. Tanjirou blinked, and a whiff of something reached his senses.

He turned around.

Allen had sat up from the couch. His bangs were covering his eyes, and Tanjirou noticed how the star-patterned ball rolled out from Allen's briefcase.

"Mister?"

For a moment, he saw a glimpse of gold in Allen's eyes, the gold vanishing and turning back silver-

"Why are you still here?" Japanese spilled from the white haired teen's lips.

Tanjirou blinked again.

"Eh?"

Allen got off the couch and stumbled forward. He looked very, very angry.

"Why on earth are you _still here_?"

Tanjirou stared, and stared, and-

His eyes widened.

"Nea?" He started softly. The look on Allen's face did not change. "Nea… It's Nea!" He broke into a smile, eyes wide and he wondered why his friend and little brother was in the nice mister's form-

"Tanjirou!"

Nea, using Allen's hands, gripped Tanjirou's shoulders. It hurt, and silver seared into burgundy, and Nea smelled very sad and angry.

"You have to go. Go back home."

Tanjirou blinked again.

"Home?"

Nea nodded, and Tanjirou smelled raw emotions of sadness and desperation.

"Home," Tanjirou said again, tasting the word in his mouth and staring down to his hands, and by his feet, he saw little blue spider lilies grow. He remembered those flowers. He saw them at the edges of his house, such small ones, and Mother would tend to them gently.

Nea nodded again, and suddenly, Tanjirou remembered.

Soon, it was Allen, and Allen jumped in surprise. He was sleeping earlier, but for some reason, he was standing up and right in front of Tanjirou.

"Eh? Tanjirou, what's-"

Tanjirou smiled sadly at Allen. Allen paused at the look on his face.

Allen stared for a long time.

He realized.

"Oh."

"Mister, thank you."

Allen nodded. He looked a bit lost.

"Could you… Open a gate to Edo?"

"... Yeah. I can."

A pause.

"... So, I'll be seeing you off?"

Tanjirou smiled brightly.

The Blue Spider Lily was a wish granting flower.

Long ago, the Fire Pillar made a vow. Before his people, all tired and scared, he promised to slay all of Japan's _bakemono_, _all of them_. He promised to do so, but his body broke down before he could. He died.

Like all of the marked ones, who could not live past twenty five.

…

So the Blue Spider Lily revived him.

The flower revived him. It gave him a chance. A chance to fulfill his promise, and under the waxing moon, surrounded by AKUMA and AKUMA and AKUMA, Tanjirou was given another chance.

Because the AKUMA the Earl had summoned that night was all of Japan's. Because all along, the Earl was actually _that child_.

Allen closed his eyes, and shortly, he opened them again. One second, he looked at Tanjirou sadly, then at the next, he smiled finally.

"Have a safe journey, Tanjirou."

A gate opened, and Tanjirou stepped through the bright, serene light. He saw a glimpse of a beautiful, white town, white birds flying about. It was very nostalgic, and Tanjirou remembered.

Tanjirou always had remembered. It was sad thinking about it, but he remembered.

He never forgot, and the memory of the chained Ark echoed. Kamado Tanjirou Lee had stood under the moon, wide eyes staring at the beautiful city of Edo before it was destroyed.

His hometown. That golden-chained Ark. Timcanpy.

He clashed against the Earl, cloak fluttering and uniform fitted on his body.

"Kamado Tanjirou," the Earl had said.

…

He gazed softly.

Yes, of course.

_Mana_.

Exiting the Ark, he was met with the break of dawn and the fragrance of home. Burgundy eyes gazed ahead. He smiled, and the three week journey he had with Allen finally ended.

Once upon a time, under the same moon, Tanjirou met Mana before Giyuu's gave.

_It has been so long._

* * *

… To children, promises meant everything.

Nea kind of guessed that Tanjirou always saw him as a child. An independent child, that was. Cross had always said he was pretty spoiled, so he supposed it kind of fit. Whatever.

"Between you and me?" Nea said.

Tanjirou smiled, nodding. "Between you and me."

"... Thanks."

Honestly, he wanted things to continue like this. Peaceful. Uneventful. Maybe drink a cup of traditional Japanese tea as they watch the sunset at the porch. Wouldn't it be nice? Tanjirou was so kind and naive and...

Ah… If only.

Really.

He hummed a gentle tune at the memory of his mother's kind touch when she sang her lullaby. Golden chains began to form as the Ark hovered above Edo. Light had sparked into life, and like snow, it dusted the world with beautiful white.

"What are you doing?" Tanjirou asked. Golden light was reflected in his eyes, and burgundy eyes were akin to rubies. Ember continued to gaze up to the night skies above.

...

"... A marker," Nea replied. He glanced at the blade-shaped Innocence by Tanjirou's waist. "So that I know where to go…

"if I (you) ever get lost."

* * *

**Thank you for reading! Next is the finale.**

**ko.**


	23. There is Something You Must Cut II

**Final. There is Something You Must Cut | Part II  
****Young One's Silhouette**

The scent of home consisted of dried flowers, musty wood, and the faint fragrance of lemon. That was the scent of home, according to her big brother.

During the Before, home was warmth and kindness, all combined with the scent of burnt wood. During the After, home was the smell of wilderness, wetness of leaves in the forest, the scent of sunlight and chemicals with the tinge of familiar anger.

And now, paper spewn all over the wooden floor, Nezuko felt herself shake. It was afternoon, her brother had left the house some hours earlier, and-

Ah… Zenitsu died. He really died. The world quickly became dark, and a hiccup raised from her throat. She read his letters again and again, and this sudden sense of desperation gripped her suffocating heart.

Zenitsu's letters were a sign of hope. Every week they awaited the fragrance of lemon- it meant that his letters were near. It was something to look forward to- they waited for Tanjirou's crow to fly by, feet carrying a heartfelt message from their dear friend. Zenitsu was like family.

And now, the world took the letters away. Zenitsu was gone.

Another death. Another sad death. She wiped away falling tears. It was painful. Tanjirou was hurting so much, she couldn't let her own emotions hurt him even more. It was painful. Zenitsu was like family, and… _And_.

It was like Giyuu's death. Like Genya's death. Like everyone who died- it hurt. It hurt so much.

She sobbed. Wiping the skin at her eyes harder, at the flick of her hand, the candle encased in glass fell and landed on the ground, a loud _thunk _making her jumped at the impact. Nezuko stared at the ground, eyes wide. Heart quieting down, she took a soft breath.

It didn't break. Thank god. It didn't break. Glass breaking was bad luck. She thought about how her brother dropped the glass cup the other day. The small ember was flickering. Nezuko swallowed weakly, her eyes puffy and tired.

Well. She supposed. Was this it? It was so sad, though.

...

Hand trembling, she reached down for the lantern by the letters. Her chest was still hurting. The _kimono _was thin on her body, she felt cold. Picking up the lantern and properly setting it down, she grabbed for the paper that was beneath it-

Pink orbs widened. Nezuko stared.

Nezuko stared, and it was as if the world stopped before her.

… Words. Golden words. There were words so carefully written with the scent of lemon, marring the pages like spider webs.

Lemon. Zenitsu's letters always had the fragrance of lemons. At the scent, Tanjirou would have this eased expression- it was like a signal for him that it was Zenitsu's letter his crow was bringing in.

… _Lemon_.

A secret message written using lemon juice, only to be seen by burning it. A trick Kanroji had showed excitedly her one day, back when Nezuko was still a demon.

Tearing open the cabinet, Nezuko quickly pulled out all three hundred and fifty six letters her and her dear brother's friend sent them. She organized them across the floor, each date written clearly on their envelopes. Setting up the candle, she went through all of the pages, this odd sense of panic and nervousness rising-

_Nezuko_, it read, and suddenly, it felt as if the blonde was sitting across from her, a gentle smile resting on his lips. Nezuko held her breath, pink eyes trembling and tears threatening to spill. Zenitsu was sitting across from her.

Zenitsu.

_You found my letter._

* * *

If the Shinazugawa Brothers had survived since the beginning, things could have been different. Alas, natural disasters could not be stopped. They were undefeatable- unable to be slain.

Because Genya could not turn into a demon. He _eats _them, which could also mean he was probably the closest to what Adam, the Millennium Earl, had tried so hard to create.

AKUMA virus could not kill Shinazugawa Genya.

Everyone had died because of AKUMA.

Within Agatsuma Zenitsu's letter, written in gold, careful characters, was his three-year long research on a mysterious flower. The flower that Muzan had tried to find, he clarified.

And within those letters, he wrote the truth.

Because he trusted Nezuko that she would be able to find them. These letters.

The Blue Spider Lily was a wish granting flower.

It took the shape of a sword, forged by an ancient swordsmith. The first user was a man named Tsugikuni Yoriichi, he was the one who had the first breath.

The requirements to use the sword was simple. You had to know and master the Sun Breath, the original breath.

Its other name was _dance of the fire god_.

_Nezuko. Do you know what this means?_

_The end will be a tragedy, it is inevitable. _

_I'm sorry._

_Tanjirou is too kind. He will promise to do the impossible, to save everybody. To put everyone at ease. If he ever does, then it will really be… Impossible. To find the alternative of his fate._

_It will be a hard journey, Nezuko._

_Mana is going insane. The Earl is fated to go insane. AKUMA will go crazy, and everyone at home will die. The Blue Spider Lily might try to keep him alive- revive him, even. To turn him something not him._

_Nezuko. _

She stood before Tanjirou's grave, pink _kimono _faded and eyes gazing tiredly ahead.

… She had been hit by the virus, actually. Multiple times. Maybe because she had been a demon, a demon who conquered the sun, her resilience against the virus must have been… Stronger. Zenitsu had tried to figure it out for her, in the letters. She memorized each and one of them.

She did told Tanjirou about it. She told everyone about it.

So everyone worked harder.

…

Her body was cracking apart. There were screams far away- was it a _bakemono_? That… That wasn't good. She had to go- Nezuko saw her brother and father danced many times. Surely, she could… Use the sword. Surely, right?

A _bakemono _was behind her. She saw its shadow. Nezuko couldn't get her eyes away from her brother's grave.

From the blue spider lilies.

There were blue spider lilies growing before her, and Nezuko held back a strangled cry.

_The Blue Spider Lily is a wish granting flower._

"I'm so sorry," she breathed, reaching out and the world swirling from tears and water. "I'm so sorry, big brother.

"I'm sorry for leaving you behind."

Like black charcoal, her body broke into millions of pieces. She watched faintly at her outstretched hand, unseeing eyes staring at her brother's grave. Unseeing eyes staring at the flowers.

The flowers.

_Please don't lose, _she thought to herself.

_Please be safe. _

_Please don't forget your breath. Please._

"Please live."

* * *

There had always been flashes of a vision- a boy with black hair and blue eyes. Blue eyes were always very beautiful and clear. They spoke more just by its gaze, and you could see the sky behind them.

A boy with black hair and blue eyes.

Giyuu had been sitting on his deathbed, skin too pale and clammy. There was nothing that could be done to prevent his death- only to slow down the process, but in turn drag on his suffering.

He coughed. Tanjirou flinched.

"... Hey," the Water Pillar began, his start still a tad bit awkward. Tanjirou met his eyes, and at the sight of a calm demeanor, the younger could only muster everything he could to stop himself from bursting into tears.

Giyuu's nose scrunched up. After an awkward minute, he continued.

"... You know, I never… I never thought I would actually get as far…" He paused, tired eyes glancing down to his hand. "Ah, I thought it was the end at that last battle with Muzan."

Muzan's name was still like a taboo. Many people died that night.

Tanjirou's hands gripped into fists. It was only a few weeks after that fight, and suddenly the Water Pillar knelt over with blood splattering on the ground, his eyes dizzyingly wide and choking for air.

Giyuu looked up to the wooden ceiling. Then he gazed out the window. He looked back at Tanjirou, and with the softening of his gaze, the former Water Pillar let out a quiet chuckle.

"Sabito was right. Tanjirou, thank you. You and your little sister changed this world. I am forever thankful. The salmon _daikon _dish at the village near my estate is… Pretty good. You should try it with your sister.

"... I am glad I got to meet you, Tanjirou."

Murata was waiting outside when Tanjirou exited the room. Giyuu had been talking to ghosts ever since The Battle, and the eldest Kamado could only sink back down against the wall, arms wrapped around his legs and a loud whine escaping the back of his throat and closed mouth.

Why must good people always die? Why must they die so early, even though the future finally became bright?

He placed his hands together as Urokodaki lit the incense. Giyuu was already like family since the very beginning, the day when snow fell from the sky and Nezuko became a demon.

The Water Pillar passed on. Urokodaki broke into tears. The Kamado Siblings cried.

The students of Urokodaki waited as Tomioka Tsutako extended her hand, Sabito standing right by her side with a brother's kind eyes.

The boy with black hair and blue eyes stood there, shocked, and at the moment clear water began to run down his cheeks, he ran forward, small feet hitting the ground as he ran _harder_.

"I'm home, I'm home," he cried out.

Since the daybreak they defeated Muzan, Giyuu had been able to see and talk to ghosts.

Giyuu was finally home.

* * *

Timothy stared at the far wall of the lobby. He was snacking on a hamburger, and with wide eyes, he stared at the _far wall of the lobby_. He gulped.

"... Hey, Tsukikami," his Innocence-spirit-whatever-companion blinked. "Am I seeing things?"

Tsukikami blinked again, and with a raised eyebrow, he looked over his master's shoulder and followed his line of sight.

"... Ah."

Timothy gulped again, eyebrows furrowed and slowly lowering his unfinished hamburger.

"It's… Not a ghost right? 'Cuz I heard that the Order's previous HQ was haunted, so they had to relocate… Or s'mthing."

Tsukikami remained silent for a long time. "... Ah, about that. Master…"

Bracing himself, the young Hearst gazed up at his "second" with wide eyes.

"... Erm… How to put it," the Innocence-person scratched the back of his head. "That's Innocence."

Timothy blinked again. Then he looked back to the far wall of the lobby, and then he looked right back to his Innocence-buddy.

There was a kid (whom Timothy _definitely _never met before) standing at the far wall of the lobby (which made it scarier since there weren't much light), staring right at Timothy with empty-looking eyes (which was hella scary).

"... It's looking at me?"

Tsukikami nodded slowly. "It is."

"... Should I go talk to it?"

Tsukikami pursed his lips. "Well."

The kid was wearing weird clothes- but it was almost like Tsukikami's, strangely enough. His eyes were very blank (which really unnerved the young exorcist), and he only stood there, bare-footed and everything. His hair was long, through. Black, even. Kind of red.

… Those earrings.

Timothy blinked again, this time squinting, and finally, he really placed the hamburger down. "Hold on."

There were card-shaped earrings beneath the kid's ears, and the kid's face had strange, red marks swirling like flames-

"Ah," Tsukikami said in realization, and Timothy slid right up to the kid in his rollerblades, and before the Hearst could say anything-

The kid spoke quietly.

"Come with me."

"... Excuse me?"

* * *

The young boy only saw him a few times- the exorcist known as Kamado Tanjirou Lee. He was general-class just like his master, Klaud Nine, and that was about as much as he knew about him.

That, and he was Big Bro Allen's friend, which was pretty neat. And Komui's brother, apparently, which also made him Lena's as well.

Then the news came. It was the first death Timothy Hearst witnessed in the Black Order, and he could feel the radiating depression that filled the entire Black Order.

Disheartening, really. He thought he was done with sad things happening, but apparently the world didn't care.

(Of course it didn't. Otherwise, his pops wouldn't have ever forced him to swallow that jewel, and the orphanage wouldn't have been in a bad position _ever_. Damn it.)

The ghost-Innocence-kid was a mystery. He was intangible, and no one else could see him- Timothy observed closely. Strangely enough, though, Timothy was able to. He suspected it had to do with Tsukikami- maybe he could see things related to Innocence? Well, that would be cool.

Or scary. He didn't know- he was only nine years old!

(Ah, well, he _was _known as Phantom G, but still. Ha.)

He followed the ghost-kid down empty halls. The corridor was lit dimly with warm lights, but it felt awfully chilly. Timothy eyed Tsukikami.

_This is safe, right?_

Tsukikami shrugged with a playful smile. Damn him as well.

"... Hey, what's your name?" Timothy settled with asking. His hands were at the back of his neck, trying to keep a relaxed demeanor. It was rather difficult.

The ghost-kid continued to walk without responding. Timothy frowned a little, unimpressed.

A gruff voice made him jump. "Kid," a guard stepped over, eyebrowless and scary-looking, "what are-"

With a smug look, Timothy quickly turned enough to show his silver rose-cross, successfully shutting the adult up. Stuttering a bit, the guard quickly shook his head.

"Ah, this place is restricted. You cannot be here."

"Hah?" He placed his hands on his hips. "Why's it out of bounds, good sir?"

Carefully, he eyed the ghost-kid. He was standing a little bit farther into the halls, but thankfully or eerily, he stopped for Timothy, head turned and blank eyes staring at him. The ghost remained emotionless looking. He was waiting.

"... Yeah, so spill. Why _restricted_?"

"T-that's confidential, Sir Exorcist. Please, allow me to take you back-"

"Nuh-uh," Timothy quickly interrupted. "Tell me. Right here, right now."

He crossed his arms over his chest. "Not gonna go anywhere 'til ya spill."

The adult looked positively going to blow up. Timothy loved it. Before he could give another jab, a shiver went up his spine as someone stepped out from the shadows behind the guard.

_That presence._

"Ah, good sir. Sir Exorcist," the guard jumped, quickly turning around. Timothy stared at the bespectacled man standing there with a sweet, kind smile.

The cardinal, Reever dubbed him. Timothy recognized the four eyes- he was the man who had a tray of sandwiches and might had gotten hit by a few eggs by some going-apeshit scientists (by accident). Yeah. Timothy recognized him.

That, and the man had gotten Tsukikami's attention.

"Cardinal," the guard began, and the cardinal raised a hand.

"You may go. I will handle this."

"Ah… Yes. Of course." Timothy kept his eyes on the old man. When the guard left, he totally looked like he wanted to get out of there ASAP. Too stressed, mayber.

"... So," Timothy began, swinging a leg as the four-eyes smiled at him. "What's so important here that it's restricted? Need explanations, since I'm an _exorcist _and all."

The cardinal chuckled.

"You are very young and bright. Now, Sir Hearst, should we go somewhere with more light?"

Timothy glanced at the ghost-kid, who still standing there ahead.

"... Nah, here would do. Really."

They stared at each other for a bit, Timothy unable to see behind the glasses of the man, and then the cardinal sighed in defeat.

"Well, the Black Order do have a lot of restricted areas. This place is not quite safe, so you should head back- in case if the supervisor requires your presence, no? Alas, you just came back from a mission, I believe…"

"... Yeah, from the Crazy-Rain Town," Timothy muttered quietly. "Hey, Mister. What _exactly _is in _these _restricted places?"

Yeah. Because he was totally _not _thinking about when the third exorcists went up and exploded. Totally.

And Allen was suddenly thrown into prison- and _Timcanpy_, too, no less. What the heck. Not to mention the mean-looking long haired pretty boy. Where did he go? Where did the red haired, eye-patch bro go, too?

Where was everyone?

Everything suddenly tore itself apart when Timothy decided to become an exorcist. If the ghost-Innocence appeared because it wanted to tell him something, then _yeah_, Timothy was going to this restricted area place.

… On hindsight, he shouldn't be too reckless, as well. Since he came to the realization that the Black Order was pretty shady and all… But still.

The cardinal remained silent for a bit.

"Ah, but you should head back first. You probably do not want to venture here alone, would you?" He smiled kindly again, the edges of his eyes soft. Timothy did not let his guard down.

"There are authorities and rules for a reason, Hearst. Head back first, and maybe first ask your supervisor about it, yes?"

The ghost-kid was still standing there, a cold chill faint at the back of his neck. Timothy nodded curtly, and he walked with firm stomps back to the main hall. Tsukikami hovered by him, he was looking back where the cardinal stood.

"... Tsukikami, he's freaky."

His Innocence-buddy paused for a moment, then he nodded in agreement. "I know."

Far ahead, Timothy wondered what was at the end of the spooky corridor. Nothing pretty, he would assume.

He wondered about the ghost-kid.

* * *

"Oi, Reever," Timothy rested his chin on the table as the scientist hummed, glasses sliding off his nose as he flipped through papers.

"What's with all the 'do not enter' places here?"

"... Well, the old headquarters had more."

"Ah. Why?"

Reever took a sip of soda.

"Komui."

Timothy stared at the scientist for a very long time.

"... Oh."

A silence.

"Everyone's been so busy," the boy commented. The pen in Reever's hand stopped moving.

He chuckled sadly, raising his head and meeting the younger's eyes.

"Yes. More so than the past."

"In the old headquarters?"

"Ah, after a few years Komui became the advisor. He pretty much carried most of the workload on his shoulders, at the time."

Timothy blinked slowly. "Oh… But ain't that tiring? Since he's advisor and everything."

Reever chuckled again, shaking his head. Gazing back down to his papers, he released a gentle sigh before continuing with the paperwork.

"He actually gets his work done- whenever I dragged him back to his office. Or when things become tough. You know, like… If Lenalee's wellbeing was at risk? When we found out about the Noah Clan for the first time, you'd be amazed how much he worked during those weeks, trying to learn as much as he could about the clan.

"Miranda had just joined the Black Order, as well."

The ghost-kid was at the entrance of the office. Timothy stared at the child's silent form.

And suddenly, Timothy felt the hairs at the back of his neck stand up, an obvious chill shooting up his spine-

"... A time keeper?"

Reever blinked. "Hm?"

With a _no, nothing_, Timothy quickly shook his head and ran off, running pass a few tired scientists.

Reever stared after him. He nodded.

"Right."

* * *

Sometimes there would be a whiff. This fragrance would reach his nose, and Timothy couldn't help but just sit down at one of the tables of the cafeteria, a good bowl of simmered salmon with _daikon_ in his tray.

It tasted really good. The first time he had one was when he returned from an especially hard mission, and upon seeing the boy so exhausted and tired, Jeryy went and prepared him a simple dish. Reever was the one who suggested it, actually.

At the time, rain pelleted the windows. It was dark and cold, but the cafeteria remainted insanely warm and homey. The feeling was akin to having a fulfilling Christmas dinner with everyone back at the orphanage- Timothy sometimes missed the food there. And Mother Superior. He missed Mother Superior. Heck, he kind of missed Inspector Galmar's annoying bickering, as well.

He nibbled quietly on a piece of salmon.

Timothy knew from the beginning that the Black Order was probably a really messed up place. He could just tell- and the time with the thirds! Seriously!

Emilia was in such distraught when he came back to the headquarters, that day. She heard that Allen got thrown into prison, and that many people never came back. The tension caused by Kamado Tanjirou Lee's death suddenly tripled, and the Black Order was not so happy anymore.

"... Say, what _is _your name, anyway? I won't be cursed if I know your name, right?" He asked the ghost-kid. The kid stared at him with the lack of personality, and Timothy sighed into the table. He eyed the ghost.

"You're Innocence. Tsukikami said so. But who are you?"

Tsukikami was hovering beside him. The look on his face was neutral, curious and narrow eyes gazing at the ghost as well.

TImothy glanced at his buddy. "Tsukikami, do you know?"

It took two beats before he answered. Tsukikami's response was a calm one, albeit a bit hesitant. It was as if he, too, was trying to understand the existence of the ghost-kid himself.

"... Master, his earrings are the same as the general."

Timothy pursed his lips.

The ghost-kid only looked down to the bowl of salmon _daikon_. The look in his eyes was kind of sad. Timothy frowned.

… Maybe this ghost was the general himself. Or perhaps, a relative? But in the end, when Timothy looked carefully at the kid's features, he didn't resemble Tanjirou a lot- aside from the earrings and the weird marks, that was.

It was mysterious. A sad mystery. Timothy hoped that one day, there would be times when everyone could just be themselves and play some friendly games of chess. Wouldn't that be nice?

Timothy missed Timcanpy, as well. And Allen.

And since the day he heard Allen ran away from the Black Order and was labeled as a traitor, Timothy could only hold his breath and _believe_.

He believed that Allen was not a traitor, and Lavi and Bookman was not dead, and the pretty boy swordsman guy would come back with that smug look on his face.

He wanted to believe, and at the sight of sad eyes that belonged to the ghost-kid, Timothy believed.

"You want me to get Miranda and go to the restricted area." Blank eyes remained blank as the ghost-kid stared back at him. Timothy nodded.

Finishing the contents of the bowl in a matter of seconds, because parasitic types eat a lot according to Allen, Timothy slammed the empty ceramic onto the surface of the table.

"Alright then," he wiped his mouth with his sleeve. "Let's go."

* * *

He…

Was having a dream.

It was a very weird dream, but it felt as if he was floating. In the air. Like when his Innocence would activate, and he would have this out-of-body experience.

Gaining possession of an AKUMA's shell, he changed the makeup of the machine, turning it into his own from top to bottom. Divine Possession. Leaving the AKUMA would only purify it, thus destroying the demon puppet in an instance.

Timothy heard that Allen really cared for the AKUMA. He couldn't really sympathize, since AKUMA tried to kill the entire orphanage and not to mention _Allen himself_, but after hearing news after news about all the bad things that kept happening, he tried to understand.

Why did Allen care so much for the AKUMA? He asked around.

Krory said he understood. He loved an AKUMA very much. Her name was Elaide.

Miranda said she understood. Apparently, he cried when a Noah forced one to self-destruct.

Marie said that he was kind of- no, a lot- like Kanda. There was this bottomless sadness in his heart, and he was alone.

Lenalee talked about his foster father, Mana, and Timothy then learned about the man named Mana.

Mana.

Wow, so as Mother Superior was important to Timothy, "Mana" was like that for Allen. Allen turned Mana into an AKUMA, and… That strange curse in his left eye. The one that allowed him to detect AKUMA- wow. Lenalee left a lot of details, being that it wasn't quite her story to tell, but still.

Wow.

Timothy wasn't sure how to feel about that.

He asked more people. When some stuffy staff members get all defensive, they gave Timothy a bit leeway since he was "just a kid." Like the old grannies gossiping, they talked about the bad rumors surrounding the former exorcist. No, not former exorcist. No way Allen wouldn't stop being an exorcist.

When Timothy asked Chaozii, Chaozii said that he didn't understand. That, or so he claimed, because Timothy could see a lot of hurt lurking in the older man's eyes.

"In the end, when you decided to step into this _position_," the Chinese spat through gritted teeth, eyes searing with held back tears, "there are things that you can't just… _Forgive _or just carelessly give _mercy _to. People are dying. Left and right. My family, others, friends and strangers. They _dying_. People who are _still alive _are _dying!_"

And suddenly, Timothy understood. Because Chaozii was not talking about the AKUMA- he didn't care if Allen loved the AKUMA or not. It was about the Noahs.

_Don't trample on him._

He stared ahead.

_In order to soothe the spirits of those it killed, and to make sure it claims no further victims… I will swing my blade and lop off the head of any demon without mercy! But I will not belittle those who regret their actions… And suffer over the things they did as demons. _

_Because demons were once human. Because they were just like _me_._

The forest was very thick. It reeked of this odor, tiny spiders scurrying about. In front of him was a young demon slayer, a hand covered in calluses on top of a white, web-patterned _kimono_.

Fierce, red eyes were glaring at him. _Hanafuda _earrings were touching the ground.

The boy was wearing a green and black checkered _haori_, and-

_Move your foot, _Kamado Tanjirou had said that night.

To Tomioka Giyuu.

_They aren't ugly, worthless monsters._

Timothy whispered quietly.

"They are pitiful creatures, once living and now empty shells."

He grabbed Miranda's arm and dragged her out of the conversation she was having with his teacher, the general only blinking in surprise at the boy's sudden outburst. She made no move to do anything, however, and Timothy never felt more thankful for her than ever.

Maybe it was because of her Innocence-monkey, Lau Shimin or something. The monkey pulled on her sleeve and stopped her.

They were running. Down the halls with quiet but hurried steps, they were running. The ghost-kid was up ahead. They turned a corner and went down familiar stairs.

"Timothy?" Miranda squeaked from behind him, eyes wide and caught off guard. There was a bead of sweat trailing down the left side of her face. "What are you- what is going on?"

They hid behind a wall before a guard saw them. Timothy replied with a quiet voice.

"There's this ghost- he's Innocence, and he wants me to do something."

Miranda blinked. "Inno… Innocence?"

The boy nodded.

"He said something along the lines of a _time keeper_, and the only person I thought that had to do with time was you."

Miranda blinked again.

"... Time… Keeper?"

The guard passed. They kept moving.

"Wait," Miranda suddenly said. Timothy stopped and turned around. The look on her face was firm, and while her eyes were shining with uncertain confidence, her voice containing a slight tremble and all, she continued.

"We need more people. We should get more people."

Timothy nodded.

* * *

The ghost-kid was called Yoriichi, Timothy later learned. With Miranda, Marie, and Lenalee, they got through the labyrinth of a headquarters and ran farther. They kept going, Miranda constantly holding her breath on accident at every nerve wracking second, and they _kept going_.

Timothy followed the ghost-kid. The ghost-kid was far ahead, his small back visible with long hair like a cape. The _hanafuda _earrings made his heart wrench.

"Eerily enough, I don't hear anyone else," Marie said in a hushed voice. "I would think there would be more guards or… CROWs, I suppose, but there's no one."

The question came up: where were they heading?

Lenalee never questioned Miranda and Timothy's plea, however. She immediately jumped into action with such profession, and Timothy remembered how miserable she must've felt, seeing that her family died and friends disappearing as well. Her hair was getting longer, too.

She reminded him of that girl. Tanjirou's younger sister.

… But then again, what was Yoriichi trying to show him?

Reading the ground floor, Timothy stumbled and noticed something on the ground. It was in front of a heavy-looking door, the hall they were walking in narrow and damp and cold.

… There… There was this flower.

A spider lily. A blue one.

Timothy looked up. The ghost-kid was standing beside the door, eyes looking over his shoulder and expressionless orbs meeting the other's. Timothy held his breath.

They tried pick locking the door. It turned out to not be very locked, oddly enough, and at the next second, Timothy heard Marie's breathing hitch.

…

Ahaha.

Ha.

Lenalee took a step forward and embraced her brother in a tearful, heart wrenching hug- she was crying so hard, like a dam breaking and all the emotions began to pour and pour and pour.

Like a _tsunami_, and giving a good look in the chamber, Timothy kept his lips in a thin line.

Stone walls and ground. Barely any windows, but it was still bright. In Lenalee's arms was Tanjirou, and all around them was a vast, compact field of beautiful spider lilies. Tanjirou's hands were bleeding. It kept bleeding and bleeding and bleeding and the ghost-kid, Yoriichi, stood there beside Tanjirou.

He was looking at Timothy. Their eyes meeting, and then slowly, he averted his gaze to Miranda. To Time Record.

It took Timothy a few seconds, but then he suddenly understood. He finally understood.

Because whether you liked it or not, the world would keep spinning, like when AKUMA attacked the orphanage or when Sabito and Tsutako was killed in the hands of a demon. The world would keep spinning, constantly, never-ending or stopping, and it was devastating.

But now.

But _now_.

Because of Miranda Lotto. Because of _Miranda Lotto_. They had a time keeper on their side, and that changed _everything_. Time was on _their _side, and that meant they had _time_!

Tanjirou looked in great pain. He was writhing, eyes glassy and faint, and there was a whine escaping from the back of his throat. Lenalee tried to get him comfortable, she tried to best to help him.

With the raise of her hand, Miranda activated Time Record. It was her first time using it _that _way, but it was okay. It worked.

The world stopped for them. The world stopped spinning, and at Tanjirou, she reverted his time.

Sweat trickling down her neck. She tried to keep conscious, keep focus. It was a panicked moment, but they had to keep going. Timothy held his breath.

Timothy, a nine year old who barely saw the entire world and what it could bring to him, held his breath. And… And Yoriichi was smiling. It was a gentle, sad smile.

"You asked me who I am," he said quietly. Timothy nodded behind watering eyes.

"I asked if you could help Tanjirou before you died."

Timothy sniveled.

"I see. Don't remember, but I see."

Yoriichi nodded.

"So thank you."

Tsukikami hovered beside him solemnly. He placed a comforting hand on the boy's shoulder, and Timothy swiveled harder.

The unconscious Tanjirou was awakened, and with one last goodbye, time sealed into just one second, the three hoped a safe journey for this dear friend. Time Record was not infinite, it could only do so much, but it was enough to keep Tanjirou awake. To keep the Fire Pillar aware.

Tanjirou was staring at them with wide eyes. He nearly broke down crying, but Timothy quickly stopped him before he could do so.

"Allen's somewhere out there. You gotta find Allen, Tanjirou. Before your head gets messed up and all of that. Yeah?"

His fellow student of Urokodaki nodded, and a gentle warmth rested in what was left of Tomioka Giyuu, Timothy's incarnation.

"Yeah," the eldest Kamado said wetly. "Okay. Thank you. Thank you so much. I'll do my best. I'll get home."

The secret was sealed behind three closed lips. Yoriichi bowed, ninety degrees and all, at Timothy's direction. Timothy smiled sadly.

So that Kamado Tanjirou could finally return home, Yoriichi, the Blue Spider Lily, manifested and came into existence. This way, the Black Order would not be able to use his battered body ever again. It was all for this sake- this purpose.

Timothy knew that they'd manage to meet. Allen and Tanjirou. He knew they would be able to. Of course they had to.

Because the Blue Spider Lily was a wish granting flower, the care and love and worry from Tanjirou's past family was offered a chance to bend destiny. A chance to bring hope.

And...

Well.

That made him wonder. The man with glasses, the cardinal. Allen's escape.

… Was this intended? Or was it not?

But, either way.

Timothy broke into a big smile.

"Tanjirou, have a safe trip!"

* * *

...

The scent of home consisted of dried flowers, musty wood, and the faint fragrance of lemon. That was the scent of home, according to her big brother.

During the Before, home was warmth and kindness, all combined with the scent of burnt wood. During the After, home was the smell of wilderness, wetness of leaves in the forest, the scent of sunlight and chemicals with the tinge of familiar anger.

The beating of the waves crashing against the shore was so very audible. It was akin to a gentle heartbeat, and the fresh smell of seawater was drifting like a song within breezy winds.

Said winds bushed against burgundy hair. Kamado Tanjirou breathed and took a deep breath.

The world was a beautiful shade of blues. It was the break of dawn, and the skies were pink and pale.

Wind brushed against burgundy hair. Dark strands fell to his brows and nose.

The Fire Pillar breathed.

_Retrace._

_Recede._

_Look back, and see._

He opened his eyes, and he stared at the world around him.

_Breathe_.

"... So, I can go home now, right?" Nezuko stood beside him. Her hand was barely touching his, and they stared at the shore from the cliff-side together.

"_There is something you must cut._ Father said that before, in your dreams," her words were a gentle murmur. Pink eyes closed, she smiled up to him. "I will always be by your side."

It was serene. Tanjirou returned the smile, and it came to him that he was unbelievably tired.

It wasn't that bad. He could do some sleep.

Gazing at the horizon, he watched as the eastern skies lit up. Rays of light pierced through cloudy eyes. He squinted at the light.

The rising sun was beautiful. Blue spider lilies grew at his feet.

Drawing his sword, the blackened blade glistened, and at that moment, he remembered a song from the distant days. He remembered the scent of home, tinged with the faintest bit of anger but at the same time warmth.

He smiled.

He smiled brighter.

...

With one last breath, he looked up to the heavens.

"Now, we shall finally be at peace."

_Knock knock, little bunny… From the little mountain. __Why are your ears so long?_

Wind tore through the air.

Waves crashed.

_When she was small, my mother ate the leaves of a tall tree…_

_And that is why my ears are so long._

("There are many ways how the body gain energy. Knowing how to breath is simply one of them," Shinobu explained gently. Strings of light entered her office. He could see the dust floating in the space around them. "Air is pumped into the lungs, the blood, and is carried to every cell of the body. That is how our muscles gain energy.

"But, that is only when the body has enough oxygen. Have you ever felt your muscles burning, your vision blacking out… Or feeling extremely sore after intense exercise? You see, if we go into the extreme, chances are that our muscles aren't receiving enough oxygen. It is impossible to breath so fast and replenish what we need in the span of seconds, especially when the battle _is_ in seconds.

"Yet how are we still able to move, despite the lack of air? Tanjirou, the cells in our body can convert energy in two ways. First is by oxygen, and the second is with the lack of oxygen."

Pausing, she smiled sadly to the other.

"Except, while we are able to move so intensely without air, something akin to poison would build up in our bodies. It's dangerous, and can only be used as a last case scenario. In the end, the human body is nothing like a demon's. There is no way our bodies could receive air so fast at the rate we must wield our weapons- against demons like the Upper Moons.

"Do you understand? That is what it means to be marked.

"It's a building poison.")

A field of red spider lilies stretched before him. He stared ahead, eyes wide, and at that quiet moment, burgundy eyes saw them. All of them. The golden light cast by sunlight made them glow- his family.

They smiled brightly, beaming at him with unshed tears.

"Tanjirou!" Muichirou grinned, tackling the older with a hug. Tanjirou held tightly on him. He was struggling not to cry.

Everyone was here.

_Everyone was here...!_

"Welcome home, Tanjirou."

* * *

**Thank you for reading! This is the final chapter _setting sun_, starring Giyuu, Timothy, and Yoriichi! **

**As you might have noticed... There were a lot of things I wanted to stuff into this story (that was originally set to end at Chapter 13: Setting Sun), so whilst I managed to put most of it in this chapter, there were still a few things I wasn't able to convey. That, and Timothy was really fun to write, actually. It was oddly refreshing.  
**

**That being said! Yes. There will (probably) be an extra chapter, hopefully closing some plot holes. Please look forward for it! Once again, thank you for reading! I hope this fiction brought some entertainment to you all, please have a nice day! **

**Note: **

There are two ways the cells in our bodies get energy (ATP), aerobic (with oxygen) and anaerobic (without oxygen) respiration. Anaerobic respiration while produces energy (but much less than aerobic), it also produces something called lactic acid, which is not good for the body. This happens when you train too rigorously and overwork yourself, which seems like something Tanjirou is prone to doing, that and observing a certain chapter in the manga (*chapter 82).

This is a _very_ abridged lesson on how the mitochondria generate energy, thank you very much.

(In which Makomo's lesson on Full Concentration Breath immediately made me think of biology class.)

**ko.**


End file.
